Christian Couple In Florida Fined For Feeding The Homeless

Chico and Debbie Jimenez are a lovely Christian couple in Daytona Beach, Florida that, for more than a year now, have been feeding the homeless at Manatee Island Park every Wednesday around lunch time. Isn't that great? I'd love to just end this post there with a short congratulations to the Jimenez's on being awesome, and for actually following the teachings of Christ. It always warms my heart to hear of stories like this - of people just doing good things for others and expecting nothing in return. Charity is truly wonderful.

But, of course, I wouldn't be writing about the Jimenez's if this story didn't take a sharp left turn into Whatthefuckville and slam into the Areyoufuckingkiddingme Boutique. Keeping up with state's theme of lawlessness, ignorance, and hypocrisy, the police of Daytona Beach moved in on Manatee Island Park last week and served citations to the Jiminezes and a few of their volunteer helpers, as well as banning them from the park permanently.

It's Official! President Obama To Seek Third Term As POTUS.

Readers, you all know by now that I worship President Obama.  I have an entire room in my apartment dedicated to his existence, complete with hair follicles, pictures, and a piece of gum he spit out on his last trip to Maine.  It's obvious, I think, by now that he has never done anything wrong in his life, nor will he ever, and will go down in history as the greatest president to ever hold the office of Commander-in-Chief, future presidents included.  He is the reason I get up every morning (I have to recite the Obama Loyalty Oath during the rise of the sun), and the reason I go to bed every night (he frequently visits me in my dreams for a little homo-erotic subconscious sinning).

I, like all leftist, atheist, liberal socialists, was afraid last year.  I was afraid that our Dear Leader would only have four years to accomplish the take-over of this country.  Luckily for us, Romney was soundly defeated thanks to our tampering with the vote count in Florida, Virginia, and Ohio, bringing about four more years of radical change.

The innocent Republicans are scared and on the run, but all they have to do is hang on until 2016.  Will that be enough time for us to finish our mission, my brothers and sisters?  No, it won't.  Thankfully, President Obama's loyal and devout followers have realized this.  Representative Jose Serrano of New York has begun taking the necessary steps to repeal the 22nd Amendment with HJ Resolution 15.

Does HJ Resolution have any chance of passing?  No... in fact, it has zero chance of making it out of committee.  It always has.

Oh, did I say "always"?  Well, President Obama actually began taking the steps to secure his third term back during the Bush Administration in the year 2001.  Clever, huh?  Unfortunately, Serrano's resolution won't be the president's solution to his third term.  In fact, changing amendments won't do it at all.

According to page 45 of the Ninth Essentials Edition of "We The People" by Ginsberg, Lowi, Weir, Tolbert, and Spitzer:

"The Constitution established procedures for its own revision in Article V.  Its provisions are so difficult that the document has been successfully amended only 17 times since 1791, when the first 10 amendments were adopted.  Thousands of other amendments have been proposed in Congress, but fewer than 40 of them have even come close to fulfilling the Constitution's requirement of a two-thirds vote in Congress, and only a fraction have gotten anywhere near adoption by three-fourths of the states."

Shit.  Only 17 times, huh?  Looks like Representative Serrano missed the mark, here.  So what, then, is our Dear Leader going to do to get reelected in 2016?  Simple!

The recent spike in gun violence in this country has given our side an advantage.  We can now use the threat of future violence to lure centrists to our side and get the numbers we need to do what must be done to finish our radical liberal take-over of America:

Take their guns.

Without their guns, the right-wing will be completely defenseless, allowing President Obama to move U.S. troops into every state to usurp the rights of conservatives and Republicans alike.  It'll be quick, almost overnight.  We can't give them any warning.  It's why Obama has yet to take a single right away from anyone since he took office in January of 2009.  They can't see it coming, and they can't be able to defend themselves.  A strong right-wing defense just means more left-wing casualties.

Soon we'll be able to stop pretending that we're the ideology of peace and rational thought, of equality and love.  Soon we can cast aside that mantle and show our true colors!

Of course, Obama will need millions of loyal agents willing to go into the homes of their fellow Americans to actually take these guns.  We'd need to get law enforcement involved and ready to go along with the plan, too.  Courts would also need to look the other way... logistics might be an issue... and conservatives would probably defend themselves from the seizure...

You know what?  Let's not think about the crazy details just yet.  We've got four years to work the kinks out.  And a third term?  Totally doable.






























Anyone who believes that President Obama is running for a third term is a fucking idiot.  And to think that his supporters are "sheep" enough to go along with something so ridiculous is ignorant and disrespectful.  He's a good president, sure, but goddamn, he has no intention of running for a third term in any way, shape, or form.  Why the hell would he?

For more on why this story is a conspiracy theory and nothing more, check out this Addicting Info article.

Or this quote from David Adler, director of the Andrus Center for Public Policy at Boise State University:

“There is nothing in his tenure as president, nothing that we know of him, that indicates that Barack Obama is going to seek a third term. Short of a military coup, the 22nd Amendment stands as an insurmountable obstacle to a third-term president today, and there is no evidence to suggest Obama or his supporters are planning on staging a coup. It’s a right-wing fantasy cooked up to try to frighten Americans.”

Mitt Romney To Govenor Scott: Your Good News Is Clashing With My Narrative.

One of the biggest issues of the 2012 election is who can create more jobs, President Obama or Mitt Romney.  With a dropping unemployment rate since August of 2011 (excluding last month, of course), it's hard to argue that what Obama is doing isn't working.  The U.S. is, despite the roadblocks set up by a Republican Congress, crawling out of the Great Recession that the president inherited from George Bush.

"But, Shaun!" you might say.  "The president had a Democratic majority in the House and the Senate from 2008 to 2010.  Why didn't he get more done then?!"  Read up on what a filibuster is or, better, how many times the Republicans used it, then get back to me.

A Message To The Users Of The Internet About Zombies.

This is getting fucking ridiculous.  Ever since that dude was caught gnawing on a homeless man's face in Florida, the internet has exploded with the faux-news of an upcoming zombie apocalypse.  Even some major news organizations have decided to exploit the story by compiling lists of zombie-like attacks.

CNN, to name one of them, has such a grisly list that is disgustingly followed by the words "But there's no need to dwell on them."  Leave it to CNN to scare the shit out of people only to follow it with something as obvious as "I see that the Google machine brought you here.  Thanks for reading, you fucking idiot." 

Smoking Out Fraudulent Voters In Florida.

Pictured above is Rick Scott, the Republican Governor of Florida.  While he looks as though he has just been plucked and boiled, I assure you that he's just naturally unnatural.

His brain, however, I can't vouch for.  As many of you have heard, Scott has been moving forward with a plan to purge people from the voting rolls - people that, he believes, do not have the right to vote.  The list of names is astronomically flawed, as you can imagine.  It's no coincidence that most of the list consists of Hispanic Americans and people that frequently vote Democrat.

In a not-so-subtle way, Scott is trying to give Florida to Mitt Romney before the November election.

American Intolerance Is Getting Worse.

Photo courtesy of ThinkProgress

Social issues are coming and going like the ocean's tide these days.  In comes contraception, out goes contraception.  In comes violence and racism, out goes violence and racism.  What's next?  My money's on the gay marriage debate - I'm sure that isn't over.

But for now, we're still in the tide of racism.  Trayvon Martin's death at the hands of George Zimmerman is widely publicized because of three big issues: 1) How important race seems to be in the eyes of biased police, 2) Florida's "Stand Your Ground" Law, and 3) The fact that Zimmerman was allowed to walk away that night, murder weapon in hand.

What about the death of Shaima Alawadi of San Diego, California?  A mother of five, Alawadi fled Iraq and Saddam Hussein's brutality back in 1993.  See that?  She fled Hussein only to be murdered by an ignorant American with a tire iron.

Floridian Man Kills High Schooler And Gets Away With It.

From AddictingInfo.org:

On February 26, a kid named Trayvon Martin was visiting his dad in Sanford, FL, just outside Orlando. So he and his dad are watching the NBA All-Star game and at halftime, his little brother wants some candy. Trayvon heads out to the convenience store and picks up some Skittles and an iced tea. He’s a junior in high school in Miami who wants to be an aviation mechanic.

As he’s walking home, a car starts following him. The man driving the car is watching him. Trayvon finally turns and says, “What’s your problem?” The problem is he “walks in a suspicious way” – and the guy in the car is a [28] year old neighborhood watch captain who has been stalking him from the convenience store. When Trayvon confronts him, the man gets out of his vehicle and they get into some kind of shoving match. The shoving match ends with the unarmed teenager dead on the ground within sight of his dad’s front yard.

This being 2012, one should know just how this story ends: the police show up and arrest the neighborhood watch captain for gunning down an unarmed seventeen-year old young man.  But this is 2012 in America, and that is most certainly not how this story ends. 

Charles Van Zant Wants To Make Abortions In Florida Illegal.

 

State Representative Charles Van Zant (R) of Florida is your typical Republican. He's old, he's white, and he's attempting to push a law forward that is radically insane: The "Florida For Life Act." The FFLA would make it a felony not to have an abortion, but to perform one.  And the consequence?

Oh, you know, life in prison.  Physicians won't be able to perform abortions, even if the patient wants one, even in cases of rape, unless:

(a) Two physicians certify in writing to the fact that, to a reasonable degree of medical certainty, the termination of pregnancy is necessary to prevent the death of the patient;

(b) Two physicians certify in writing to the fact that, to a reasonable degree of medical certainty, the termination of pregnancy is necessary because to continue the pregnancy would unreasonably reduce the likelihood of successful treatment of a life-threatening disease of the patient; or

(c) A physician certifies in writing that a medical emergency existed and another physician was not available for consultation prior to the time necessary to perform the termination of pregnancy. The physician’s written certification must clearly describe the medical emergency.

   

This bill is psychotic.  At least Van Zant stopped at the maximum life sentence as opposed to his Georgian counterpart, Bobby Franklin, who wanted to make miscarriages a felony, punishable by the death penalty.  

Van Zant is such a cool, villain name too.  I say he should go for broke.  You know, up the ante.  Why stop with the physicians performing abortions?  How about locking up people for talking about it?  After all, that could easily be considered intent to murder.

America's New Goal - Failing.

"Today's word is: Under-appreciated."

As frequent readers know, I have a bit of a bias towards educators in America.  How could I not?  For some strange reason, I'm studying to be a high school teacher myself (don't worry, parents, the stuff you find on this blog will be left at the door of my classroom).

Despite the ass-reaming Wisconsin teachers received at the hands of their state legislature, I have not changed majors.  Despite the continuing cuts to education at both the state and federal level, I have not changed majors.  No, no, don't praise me.  I'm no hero.  I'm clearly just a glutton for punishment.  Why do I, personally, stay in?  I'll quote one of the professors at my college - "You can either be on the front lines of the fight, or you can watch from the sidelines as teachers become more and more ostracized with each passing year."