Lawsuit Says Obama Can't Be President Due To The Color Of His Skin.

 

One of the many reasons that I dislike all politicians (particularly career ones) is that they never mean what they say or say what they mean.  This character flaw obviously isn't just reserved for them, though.  Loads of people are two-faced these days.  One of the fantastic things about the political sphere since 2008 is that the masks have been melting away to reveal the true men and women that wear them. 

Democrats have fallen victim to the unveiling - Anthony Weiner being a prime example.  But, as luck would have it, not everyone has gotten on board the victim train.  Republicans have actually embraced what they've been subtly hinting at for years.  As Justin Rosario writes over at Addictinginfo.org:

"If there is silver lining in the greasy dark cloud that right wing politics has become it’s that the Right has dropped any and all pretense. We knew, years ago, that the fight over abortion was really about contraception for women. Rick Santorum and his fellow candidates have been kind enough to drag that one kicking and screaming into the light for all to behold. But more importantly, the core of pure racism that the GOP has thrived on for half a century has cracked the paper thin veneer of respectability conservatives have carefully constructed. With the election of a black man to the White House, that racial hatred has come pouring out so fast it’s almost impossible to imagine that only four years ago, people were referring to America as a post-racial country."

Demopocalypse - Part III.

On day one of Demopocalypse, I focused on Anthony Weiner's career-crushing life choices.  On day two, I turned my gaze towards the entire democratic party and condemned them for their spinelessness.  What, I wonder, shall I talk about today?

Oh!  I know!  How about another man that makes poor decisions involving his penis?  No, not Bill Clinton...

"This November, vote for John Edwards.  White guy.  White name."

Yes, John Edwards.  I first heard about him in 2004 when then-presidential candidate John Kerry picked him for his VP slot.  Your humble, naive young writer clearly remembers watching the press conference and wondering, "Who the fuck is John Edwards?"  Unbeknownst to me, I would find out more about him than I cared to know in the coming years, culminating in a shocking revelation not too long ago - that the National Enquirer got something kind of right.  

Demopocalypse - Part I.

I've spent the last week or so perusing through some of my older posts (I'm fucking hilarious, by the way), and it quickly came to my attention that there is a severe lack of democrat bashing going on.  It also helped when a good friend of mine said, "Hey, when are you going to make fun of the democrats?"

I want to make it very clear that for all the republican hating I do, I dislike the democrats just as much.  I'm a liberal, yes, but I'm also an anti-political party kind of guy.  I agree with our first president - the party system will be the downfall of this country.

So, to make it up to my readers, I am going to take the next seven days to showcase the democrats I really can't stand, and reasons why the entire party makes me want to crawl into a hole with a hand grenade.  Who (or what) is first?  Well, let's start with a dick:

Goddamn it, not literally.

Republican Presidential Candidates And You.

So many good choices... how could we possibly just

choose one?!

Before I get into the meat of this article (or, more appropriately, the gristle and fat), I want to acknowledge something that I'm willing to bet everyone was expecting me to write about.  Representative Anthony Weiner has caught a lot of deserved flak for tweeting pictures of his... weiner... and having some very strange contact with young women.  He is a married, is a Democrat and, while he did nothing illegal to my knowledge, is still responsible for creating a media sideshow full of obvious puns that lasted far longer than it should have.

I didn't mean to ignore this whole scandal.  I wanted to write about it.  The thing is, I have a habit of watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, both of which covered this thing extensively.  Hell, Jon Stewart went to high school with the guy.  They said so much about the incident, I decided that I wouldn't write about it in order to avoid accidently copying a joke or two.  I wasn't trying to dodge it because Representative Weiner is a Democrat.  He deserves just as much hell as anyone else, regardless of what political party he is in.  Truth be told, I think it's more appalling that he lied about it.  "I cannot say with certainty that that is a picture of me"?  Really?  C'mon.  No one bought that.  You should know your own junk shot if you saw it, particularly at your age.  You should be able to pick yours out of a line up of 1,000 by the time you're 40 years old.  

Ugh.  Moving on.