Hypocrisy In Action: Christianity and the GOP

This isn't going to be a long, drawn out post.  I'm waiting for my "American Romanticists" class to start, and figured now would be a good time to argue with people.  Actually, any time is a good time for an argument.  That's probably why my arms are always tingling.  Go, adrenaline!

I have a question, though, for my non-left leaning readers: how do you reconcile your beliefs in the Christian God/Jesus Christ with your right-wing political slant?  Obviously, this question only applies to people who are both Christian and right-leaning.

Why do I ask?  Because you're all hypocrites, plain and simple.  I don't meant to start this dialogue with name-calling, but it's kind of a fact.  That's what you are.  Christianity and the beliefs of the modern day Republican party clash worse than an orange shirt would with green jeans.

So... why?  You can't be both.  Pick one.  Consider me to be the arrogant, pompous individual in charge of all things moral and just in the world.  Write in the comments section (no "anonymous" comments will be posted, cowards) with your opinion.  If your comment does nothing but insult me, it will not be posted, as it will have no positive effect on this dialogue.* 

Tell me why you are a Christian and a Right-Winger.  Explain to me your beliefs.  Tell me how you interpret the New Testament.  I want to know.  Convince me.

I'm looking forward to this discussion, if it even occurs.     






*I'm not saying not to insult me.  Go ahead.  Try to make me cry for all I care (and you probably will, if your comment is stupid enough - er, well... tears of joy, anyway).  All I ask is that contribute in a meaningful way. 

The U.S. Catholic Church Tells Jesus To Take His Teachings And Fuck Off.

Did you know that, whether you are Catholic or not, every single American taxpayer gives money to the Catholic Church?  How's that for the separation of church and state?

I'm going to be talking a bit about Obama's contraception mandate here, so if you don't know about it, I suggest you go look it up.  In essence, Obamacare forces employers to offer free birth control to their employees, which created a bit of a holy storm when Catholic organizations (who are notorious for being anti-contraception) realized that this included them.  The president compromised, putting the responsibility on the insurance companies and not the religious institutions, and a majority of Catholic higher-ups liked his new plan.  But not everyone.

Two Brilliant, Abstract-Thinking Fetuses Question Life And God's Existence.

This idiotic picture is being circulated around the internet as we speak.  It's all over my Facebook.  I decided I'm going to nip this in the ass right now and write about it before it gets any larger.

I don't often write about my personal religious views because I don't want to offend the few religious  friends and relatives I have that read my posts.  Don't pat yourselves on the back though, guys.  I am more than capable of offending you.  Case in point: what I'm about to write.  Do not read this post if you think that the above picture is clever and/or true.  Now I know what you're thinking.  You want to hit the "back" button on your browser, but some sick urge is just begging for your eyes to read on.  It's like a car accident.  You just have to look.  Well, I'm advising that you don't.

Okay.  Let's number this shit.  I love lists.

American Intolerance Is Getting Worse.

Photo courtesy of ThinkProgress

Social issues are coming and going like the ocean's tide these days.  In comes contraception, out goes contraception.  In comes violence and racism, out goes violence and racism.  What's next?  My money's on the gay marriage debate - I'm sure that isn't over.

But for now, we're still in the tide of racism.  Trayvon Martin's death at the hands of George Zimmerman is widely publicized because of three big issues: 1) How important race seems to be in the eyes of biased police, 2) Florida's "Stand Your Ground" Law, and 3) The fact that Zimmerman was allowed to walk away that night, murder weapon in hand.

What about the death of Shaima Alawadi of San Diego, California?  A mother of five, Alawadi fled Iraq and Saddam Hussein's brutality back in 1993.  See that?  She fled Hussein only to be murdered by an ignorant American with a tire iron.

Kirk Cameron Should Be Ignored.

Kirk Cameron.  Had it not been for my brief exposure to the show "Growing Pains" when I was very little, I would have absolutely no clue who this guy is.  As it should be.

Cameron, as you may remember, came under fire recently after telling Piers Morgan his view towards homosexuality: "I think that it's - it's - it's unnatural. I think that it's - it's detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization."

He then turned around and acted like Piers Morgan ambushed him, claiming that the interview was supposed to be about his movie.  Controversial celebrity, meet journalist.  Journalist, meet controversial celebrity.  What the fuck did you think was going to happen, Cameron? 

Ten Logic Fallacies Used By Politicians (Part Two).

Before I finish this list off, I again want to thank E. Magill over at The Unapologetic Geek for compiling this list.  While the logical fallacy selections are his, the commentary is my own.

We're all aware of how most elected officials have their own way of speaking, much like lawyers do.  The best of them can turn an argument on its head or have you believing something that is completely fictitious.  Here are the five remaining tactics to look out for the next time you hear any politician talk.

And yes, I saved the cool Latin ones for last.

1.) Ignoratio Elenchi.

The #ToMyUnbornChild Twitter Trend.

I've said it in multiple posts and I'll say it again: there is nothing wrong with being gay.  As my loyal readers know, I am pro gay marriage and pro gay rights.  Sexual orientation is like skin color - unimportant when it comes to the law.  If a law is passed, is should either apply to all humans or no humans.  That seems like basic common sense to me.

Every single day, I am on the brink of either having hope for our species or wishing we would all do planet Earth a favor and suddenly die out.  I would have thought that, as we creep ever so cautiously towards the future, the hope inside of me would begin to outweigh the utter despair.  2012 is proving that little hypothesis of mine to be wrong.

More From Rick Santorum.

I am so tired of writing about Rick Santorum.  But as the days pass us by, Santorum has realized that the only way that he can stay in the spotlight is to say outrageous nonsense to his base of scared, old, white people.  And, unfortunately, I'm a sucker for outrageous nonsense, no matter who the speaker is.  It's pretty much what this blog is about.  I do take issue with the fact that I only seem to be writing about Rick Santorum anymore, so much so that I've been considering changing the name to Rick Santorum Is A Mouth-Breathing Fuck, And Here Is Why.  Ugh, but then I lose brand recognition.  Oh, well.

At any rate, I'm not going to go over what he said in detail.  It's all over the internet.  Suffice it to say that the "liberal 'gotcha' media" pounced on Santorum over something he said about a famous speech by President John F. Kennedy back in 1960.  Here's a brief video outlining that:

Santorum on Church-State Separation

Why Public Schools Are Unnecessary.

For the first 150 years, most presidents home-schooled their children at the White House, he said. 

“Where did they come up that public education and bigger education bureaucracies was the rule in America? Parents educated their children, because it’s their responsibility to educate their children.”

“Yes the government can help,” Mr. Santorum added.  “But the idea that the federal government should be running schools, frankly much less that the state government should be running schools, is anachronistic. It goes back to the time of industrialization of America when people came off the farms where they did home-school or have the little neighborhood school, and into these big factories, so we built equal factories called public schools. And while those factories as we all know in Ohio and Pennsylvania have fundamentally changed, the factory school has not.” 

-For the full article from The New York Times, click here.

Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum is correct, of course.  The federal government should not be running our public schools (which is why they don't), and neither should the state governments.  So, if not the government, than who?  The teachers?  Hah! Those liberal pussies aren't fit to run a classroom, much less the whole building.  Let's break it down and look at the pros and cons of public schooling:

The War Against Women.

Women.  They've been a thorn in our testicles ever since the One True God created them out of our manly ribs.  They get us kicked out of paradise by eating that fucking apple, and then they have the ovaries to complain when God curses them with menstruation and painful childbirth.  Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, ladies.

~6,000 years later on the other side of the Earth, women start to argue that they have rights too - that they are, in fact, human beings, and not just our childbearing, child-raising, maids/nannies.  While the idea itself is, to this day, laughable at best, they somehow managed to convince those damned bleeding heart liberal jag-offs in Washington to let them vote in 1920.  

Okay, okay.  Being allowed to vote probably isn't that big of a deal.  It's not like we'll ever have a president with a vagina, right?  But then they start running for Congress, and here's where things get messy.  Why?  Because women have no right to dictate how us men run our lives, our country, and our money.  It's as simple as that.  

The Shadow War On Religion Is Over.

And we were so close, too.

For the last few decades or so, we've waged our war against the religious institutions of the United States of America.  We have struck from the shadows.  We have meticulously chipped away at the foundations of Christianity at every level of the government.  Victory was all but assured.

But then we slipped up.  President Obama - our figurehead, our face - tried to force religious institutions to offer free contraception to women under their health insurance plans.  And now... now those institutions are on to us.  They now know about the war that we have waged for so long.

My friends.  It is over.

We cannot stand tall and fight back against the journalistic integrity and research that the Fox News machine has to offer.  We cannot fight against honest men like Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, the Koch Brothers, Rupert Murdoch, and Roger Ailes.  The former even called us out, saying:

"And I frankly don't care what kind of deal he tries to cut.  This is a man who is deeply committed - if he wins reelection, he will wage war on the Catholic Church the morning after he's reelected."

From A Biblical Perspective, It's Okay To Pay Teacher's Less Money.

How can someone be speaking in front of a Christmas Tree

looking as sour as this guy?  Did someone just remind him that

he's a state senator from Alabama?

 

This is Alabama State Senator Shadrack McGill (R) and no, I did not take that from a Dungeons and Dragons character sheet.  That is seriously his name.  And I have a bit of a kerfuffle with Slim Shady-rack here in regards to one of his recent stances towards Alabama teachers.  Admittedly I did not, up until now, know that Alabama had teachers, but that doesn't mean that I'm unwilling to stand up for them when the time comes.   

According to ThinkProgress, McGill voted against raising the annual salary of teachers not because they were undeserving, but because "It's a Biblical principle."  First of all, what an asshole.  Second of all, for all of the talk the Republican Conservatives drum up about following the Constitution, they sure don't know much about it.  What the fuck ever happened to the separation between church and state, guys?

Rick Perry Is An Asshole.

As most of you probably know, I am no fan of Governor Rick Perry.  If you didn't know that, well... I'm not a fan of Governor Rick Perry.  I'm glad that's out in the open.  Setting aside the fact that Texas found the one person in America that is a living, breathing caricature of George W. Bush (who was, on his own, an amalgam of every Southern stereotype), I can't stand Rick Perry for the following reasons:

1.) My cats could probably beat him in a debate, and I'm pretty sure one of them is mentally challenged.  Seriously - he runs into walls and tries to bite lit candles.

2.) He puts himself on this pedestal of righteousness that he doesn't deserve.  The man is a con artist, and any fifth grader with access to Google could tell you the same.  Roughly eight years ago, Perry tried to earn himself, the state of Texas, and Wall Street speculators money off of the deaths of retired teachers with a life insurance scheme.  Would the families get anything?  No.  And just the other day, my fellow blogger over at Jobsanger wrote a great post about how Perry "retired" in January- while still governor of Texas -and is now receiving both a salary and a pension.      

3.) Uhhhh.....uhmmmm.....I forgot.  Oops.

Pat Robertson is God's Weatherman.

I was originally going to do the Koch Brothers today in an attempt to go straight down the list over at Addicting Info, but the recent east-coast quake unearthed some hateful religious sediment that I couldn't ignore.

Marion Gordon "Pat" Robertson is a televangelist and hardcore evangelical preacher that can be seen on his show The 700 Club.  He is also quite well known for being pure human garbage.  Just to refresh your memory, this is the guy that co-blamed the September 11th attack on "pagans, abortionists, gays, lesbians, and feminists" and said that Hurricane Katrina was God's punishment against the U.S. for our abortion policies.    

What really bothers me about Pat Robertson is that, despite his claims, he is not a Christian.  He just runs his show and says this awful bullshit for money.  Infamous quotes aside, Pat Robertson has more skeletons in his closet than could possibly fit.  

Is Submission A Form Of Respect In A Christian Marriage?

The Iowa Straw Poll Debate came and went with nothing really turning up that hasn't been heard before.  The candidates stuck to their typical reality-bending, non-factual arguments (some of which have literally been debunked publicly by experts and analysts on their respective subjects) and, as always, their fearmongering.  But the award for "best shitty answer on-the-fly" has to go to Congresswoman Bachmann.  For some back story on her answer, let's turn to this quick, two minute video.  Pay really close attention from the 30 second mark on.  

"From there, my husband said, 'Now you need to go get a post-doctorate degree in tax law'.  Tax law?  I hate taxes.  Why should I go and do something like that?  But the Lord says, 'Be submissive.'  Wives, you are to be submissive to your husband... I was going to be faithful to what God was calling me to do through my husband."

"Tolerance!? More Like BULLSHIT."

"...we are not a Muslim nation."

Question: Are we a nation of assholes? Because

only assholes would elect assholes to a represent them in office.

In a strong and unfortunately successful attempt to embarrass my home state of Maine, Representative Amy Volk of the state house lit up Facebook a few weeks ago with an extremely well-placed and ignorant status update.

It followed the morning prayer which, I guess, both the House and the Senate have, (probably following a middle-finger salute to the First Amendment) by Reverend Donna Lee Muise.  While I'm personally no fan of prayers, there are some that truly are like poetry.  As an English major, I both respect and love them.  And as a tolerant human being, I have to say that Reverend Muise's prayer struck me as one to be celebrated, not shunned.

The contents of it, while important, are not what Representative Volk had an issue with.  It was how Muise ended it that caused Volk to flip her shit and passive-aggressively bitch out the reverend on Facebook.

"And so in all Your many names - Yahweh, Allah, God - we pray that Your will be done.  Amen and Shalom."

The Hate Groups You Love To Hate.

What's funnier than these two sociopathic groups in today's

modern world of pro-tolerance?  How about the KKK calling

the Westboro Baptist Church a bunch of lunatics?

Today was a beautiful day for most of the country, and not just in terms of the weather.  Memorial Day is a time to observe the courage of our soldiers both past and present; a time to reflect on what they have done and given up so that the rest of us can feel safe.

Traditionally, Memorial Day is also a day in which we get together with our families and have the first big barbecue of the Summer.  Oh, I should be more specific here.  Those of us who aren't shunned from the rest of society because of our bat-shit insane views get together with our family.  The rest of us get together with our "clan"/"cult" and ruin the majesty of such a day with our pessimistic attitudes and hemorrhoid-like personalities.  

Today, President Obama led the nation's observance of Memorial Day, as all presidents do, at the Tomb of the Unknowns in the Arlington Cemetery (I know that sounds like some quest objective in a fantasy land, but that is in fact what it's called).  But of course, the Westboro Baptist Church showed up in their van, bringing with them their characteristic depressing signs and their dark, hovering cloud of hate.  If you don't know who the WBC is, I suggest you crawl out of your box and search the internet for "modern day tumors of society". 

I Found The Escaped Reptile From The NY Zoo... But It Was A Newt, Not A Snake...

Fun fact: The muppet "Beeker" was inspired by Newt's face, 

not his physique.

I, my good friends and readers, have come out of a brief period of isolation to bring you some news about a man who will be running as a Republican candidate for the Presidential office in 2012.  Due to some recent comments made by Newt (who is both literally and metaphorically "half reptile") that I cannot ethically let slide, I bring to you the following commentary.

Why am I pissed this time?  First of all, I'm not always angry, and shame on you for assuming such a thing.  I'm actually quite a calm individual.  Until people that represent this country say stupid shit like this:

"I have two grandchildren: Maggie is 11; Robert is 9," Gingrich said at Cornerstone Church here. "I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they're my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American."

Let's Dispel Some Myths About President Obama.

My, God... America has elected a black, unpatriotic, socialist, Muslim, non-native, 

elitist, college-educated, non-military, inexperienced terrorist to the office of the President!  

Yes, that's right.  Two years ago, my foolish generation of non-racist, educated, rational liberals came out and voted in such numbers that John McCain was reminded of how badly he had lost to Abe Lincoln.  Are you happy, you hooligans?  Now the goddamn war is ending, we're improving our standing in the world, and our economy is snapping back from what could have been the next Great Depression.  I hope you're proud of yourselves.  

At least, that's what I would say if I was a bitter-ass Republican/Conservative (Note: Not all Rep/Cons hate Obama- just the majority- and I'm talking about them).  I have received so much untrue chain letters and heard so much ignorant blather about President Obama, it makes me sick.  I am all for criticizing government when it steps out of bounds- and I did it quite a bit between 2000 and 2008- but at least make sure you have your facts straight.  I'm going to dispel these stupid rumors right now.  Although there is one fact checking site I highly recommend for pretty much everything, and I believe it's called "Snopes.com".  Once again, everything I am about to say is plain common sense.  It would take roughly five minutes on a google search to prove these allegations wrong. 

What A Terrorist Is and What A Terrorist Isn't.

And we were just starting to make some progress.

Thanks, Rufio.  

Prompted by the recent "attack" in Oregon, I've decided that it's about time we get one thing straight about terrorists.  The dictionary definition of "terrorist" is not "someone who practices Islam".  It never has been, and it never will be.  Here are two definitions straight from the dictionary:

1) A person, usually a member of a group, who uses or advocates terrorism.

2) A person who terrorizes or frightens others.