Facts: A Beginner's Guide For Conservatives.

*Warning!*  If you are not familiar with grade school level science, the English language, or reality in general, you may have trouble comprehending this article. Of course, as it is meant for my conservative readers (a.k.a. the people that accidentally stumbled here because reading things you don't agree with is almost fundamentally out of your wheelhouse), I'll try to keep my words small, the sentences brief, and the pictures plentiful.

Here's a fun game:

One of the following sentences is a fact and the other one is not. Can you tell which one is which?

A.) Getting punched in the dick hurts.
B.) President Obama wants to take away everyone's guns.

Ann Coulter's Attempt to Mock First Lady Obama and Hashtag Activism Backfires

"Give me all of your babies, for they 

fuel my unbridled hatred."

Ann Coulter is a right-wing political commentator and activist that can best be described as the female version of one Rush Limbaugh. Just about every word that hisses its way past her forked tongue and sharp fangs are loaded with hate and tipped with spite (and yes, if words had flavors, hers would taste distinctly of bullshit).

She is one of the champions of ignorance over at Fox News, and she is evil personified. To give you a brief glimpse of what I mean, here's a little quote from Coulter from an interview she did with the New York Observer back in 2007:

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women.

"It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that is has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it's the party of women and 'We'll pay for health care and tuition and day care - and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?'"

6 Reasons Why Cliven Bundy and His Militiamen Are Assholes.

Cliven Bundy is an asshole. Everyone that joins him at his ranch is an asshole. And anyone that supports him has their heads up their own assholes. For those of you that don't know, Bundy (the asshole pictured above) is the man trying to start an armed revolution against the federal government because he's too stubborn to admit that he's wrong.

Apple Manufactures Phone Specifically For The Right-Wing.

I usually don't advertise for products on here, but I saw this one and couldn't help myself.  Apple calls it the Dumbphone, and it uses state of the art technology to filter out information based in reality and/or fact.  It also gives you first class access to applications not available to liberal smartphone users.

Go crazy with Glenn Beck TV!  Listen to the hollow, empty words of Rush "Blow Hard" Limbaugh!  Or get up to the minute false information on all current news stories with the Fox News app!  The Dumbphone contains so much ignorant power, you won't believe that it's all at your fingertips.

You see, Apple designed the Dumbphone with you -the right-wing user - in mind.  Why be exposed to the world of reality with a real phone when you can stay in your bubble, ever-connected to a conservative consciousness that is consistently reinforcing the fantasy in which you live?  Why think for yourself when you can have the Dumbphone do it for you? 

Check out these amazing new features, copied straight from the website:

*Call Screening: The Dumbphone will not accept calls, nor will it make calls, to anyone with an IQ of 75 or more, ensuring that those pesky liberal elite family members of yours will never call to pester you with the latest accomplishments of "Dear Leader Obama." 

*Gipr: Siri has been replaced for this model.  Introducing Gipr, the new Reagan-inspired Dumbphone assistant, capable of deciphering even the most incoherent of primitive command noises that come out of your mouth hole.

*Insult Generator: Did you leave your underground bunker and run into a liberal?  Is that liberal trying to argue with you by throwing well-informed facts in your face?  The Dumbphone has the answer!  With over one million randomly generated insults, the Dumbphone always has you prepared with a barrage of personal attacks that are guaranteed to stop any argument dead in its tracks, leaving you feeling satisfied with an unearned victory. 

*Concealed Weapon: The Dumbphone comes locked and loaded with six deadly 5.56 hollow point rounds cleverly disguised in a chamber behind the phone's camera.  Those government agents may think that you're just taking a picture of them stealing your guns and dragging your wife out into the street, but really you're getting ready to commit murder!  Just point and fire! *Flash not included.

*Edited History: The Dumbphone immediately censors any historical internet article, conforming it to right-wing philosophies.  Read the Right (pun intended!) version of the Constitution!  Learn how fast Jesus Christ could load a musket!  And read about how God Himself created the white race, Republicanism, and America all in His own righteous image. 

*Gaydar: Stay away from homosexuals forever with Gaydar, a motion tracker tuned to the genetic frequencies of those in the LGBT community.  Gaydar can also be tuned to hippies, liberals, drug-addicts, welfare recipients, vegans, foreigners, the U.N., atheists, Muslims, feminists, non-whites, non-Christians, San Francisco, elites, President Obama or (for all you ultra right-wingers out there) all of the above.

*Conservative's Guide to Sex: An entire one page article on sex, from how it works to the two positions you can have it in (missionary or abstinence). 

*Fuel Inefficient: The Dumbphone does not run on a liberal good-for-the-environment power source like a battery.  Whenever you want to recharge your phone, simply take it to the nearest gas station and fill it with diesel fuel.  It's recommended that you bring a spare tank with you, as the Dumbphone can only hold enough fuel to charge it for fifteen minutes.

*Bush Era Memory Wipe: The first time you sync the phone up with yourself, the Dumbphone selectively wipes your memory of President Bush's eight years in office, effectively freeing up your mind to attack the current state of the federal government without worrying about being a hypocrite.  You can also choose to erase any and all knowledge of what a hypocrite is (recommended).

*Easy to Fix: The Dumbphone is built piece by piece by non-union child factory workers in Taiwan, and Apple is passing those savings on to you!  If the Dumbphone breaks, all you have to do is take it apart, find the malfunctioning culprit, and replace it at 200% of the original cost of the piece.  Wow!

*Automatic Donations: 70% of your monthly bill is divided up equally and donated to Republican political races, Republican organizations such as the NRA, non-charity entities, and talking heads like Limbaugh, Beck, Hannity, and more.

*EBook Reader: It doesn't come with one.

*Music: The Dumbphone comes preloaded with 30gb (of its total 32gb) of country, christian, and military music that can't be deleted.  Never feel unpatriotic again!

*Doubles as a Flag Pin: The back of the Dumbphone is graced with the American flag, while the front has two attachable, razor sharp hooks that pierce breast flesh with ease.  Never appear on television, radio, or in photos without it.

The Dumbphone, coming to you exclusively from Apple.  Just remember the motto: If ignorance is bliss, you'll be in Heaven with the Dumbphone.

To order your Dumbphone, check out Apple's website here.  This is a miracle piece of technology that all right-wingers should enjoy.  

It's Official! President Obama To Seek Third Term As POTUS.

Readers, you all know by now that I worship President Obama.  I have an entire room in my apartment dedicated to his existence, complete with hair follicles, pictures, and a piece of gum he spit out on his last trip to Maine.  It's obvious, I think, by now that he has never done anything wrong in his life, nor will he ever, and will go down in history as the greatest president to ever hold the office of Commander-in-Chief, future presidents included.  He is the reason I get up every morning (I have to recite the Obama Loyalty Oath during the rise of the sun), and the reason I go to bed every night (he frequently visits me in my dreams for a little homo-erotic subconscious sinning).

I, like all leftist, atheist, liberal socialists, was afraid last year.  I was afraid that our Dear Leader would only have four years to accomplish the take-over of this country.  Luckily for us, Romney was soundly defeated thanks to our tampering with the vote count in Florida, Virginia, and Ohio, bringing about four more years of radical change.

The innocent Republicans are scared and on the run, but all they have to do is hang on until 2016.  Will that be enough time for us to finish our mission, my brothers and sisters?  No, it won't.  Thankfully, President Obama's loyal and devout followers have realized this.  Representative Jose Serrano of New York has begun taking the necessary steps to repeal the 22nd Amendment with HJ Resolution 15.

Does HJ Resolution have any chance of passing?  No... in fact, it has zero chance of making it out of committee.  It always has.

Oh, did I say "always"?  Well, President Obama actually began taking the steps to secure his third term back during the Bush Administration in the year 2001.  Clever, huh?  Unfortunately, Serrano's resolution won't be the president's solution to his third term.  In fact, changing amendments won't do it at all.

According to page 45 of the Ninth Essentials Edition of "We The People" by Ginsberg, Lowi, Weir, Tolbert, and Spitzer:

"The Constitution established procedures for its own revision in Article V.  Its provisions are so difficult that the document has been successfully amended only 17 times since 1791, when the first 10 amendments were adopted.  Thousands of other amendments have been proposed in Congress, but fewer than 40 of them have even come close to fulfilling the Constitution's requirement of a two-thirds vote in Congress, and only a fraction have gotten anywhere near adoption by three-fourths of the states."

Shit.  Only 17 times, huh?  Looks like Representative Serrano missed the mark, here.  So what, then, is our Dear Leader going to do to get reelected in 2016?  Simple!

The recent spike in gun violence in this country has given our side an advantage.  We can now use the threat of future violence to lure centrists to our side and get the numbers we need to do what must be done to finish our radical liberal take-over of America:

Take their guns.

Without their guns, the right-wing will be completely defenseless, allowing President Obama to move U.S. troops into every state to usurp the rights of conservatives and Republicans alike.  It'll be quick, almost overnight.  We can't give them any warning.  It's why Obama has yet to take a single right away from anyone since he took office in January of 2009.  They can't see it coming, and they can't be able to defend themselves.  A strong right-wing defense just means more left-wing casualties.

Soon we'll be able to stop pretending that we're the ideology of peace and rational thought, of equality and love.  Soon we can cast aside that mantle and show our true colors!

Of course, Obama will need millions of loyal agents willing to go into the homes of their fellow Americans to actually take these guns.  We'd need to get law enforcement involved and ready to go along with the plan, too.  Courts would also need to look the other way... logistics might be an issue... and conservatives would probably defend themselves from the seizure...

You know what?  Let's not think about the crazy details just yet.  We've got four years to work the kinks out.  And a third term?  Totally doable.






























Anyone who believes that President Obama is running for a third term is a fucking idiot.  And to think that his supporters are "sheep" enough to go along with something so ridiculous is ignorant and disrespectful.  He's a good president, sure, but goddamn, he has no intention of running for a third term in any way, shape, or form.  Why the hell would he?

For more on why this story is a conspiracy theory and nothing more, check out this Addicting Info article.

Or this quote from David Adler, director of the Andrus Center for Public Policy at Boise State University:

“There is nothing in his tenure as president, nothing that we know of him, that indicates that Barack Obama is going to seek a third term. Short of a military coup, the 22nd Amendment stands as an insurmountable obstacle to a third-term president today, and there is no evidence to suggest Obama or his supporters are planning on staging a coup. It’s a right-wing fantasy cooked up to try to frighten Americans.”

Fascism And The GOP (Part One).

I was perusing the internet today (something I haven't had time to do in a long while) and I stumbled upon this handy little guide that defined Fascism in fourteen simple characteristics.  So instead of writing something about killing tools (guns) or general ignorance, I decided to draw up a comparison of what a Fascist state is like and what the modern Republican party is like.

Now before I go on, I want to get one thing clear: this is a liberal comedy/information blog written by an independent.  So while I could compare this same list to the Democrats (who do line up with a few of the numbers, but not the majority of them like the GOP does), I won't.  Do that yourself, you lazy fuck.

Another note: I am fully aware that this has probably been done before as the internet is a very large place.  Hell, I found one that compared the fourteen points to President Obama, albeit in a not-very-serious manner.

Here's the quick foreword from the website I got these from: "Dr. Lawrence Britt has examined the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia) and several Latin American regimes. Britt found 14 defining characteristics common to each."

One Last Thought Before Election Day.

Here we are, folks.  Election Day at last.  I am supporting President Obama, and making sure that some of my co-workers are getting out to vote for him tomorrow as well.  Make no mistake: Maine will vote for the president.

But what about you? Who are you going to vote for?

To be honest, I really don't give a fuck who you're voting for tomorrow.  Just get out and vote.  If you don't vote, I'm not going to listen to you bitch and moan for the next four years.  You'll lose that right.

More honesty: I was going to sit here and try to urge you, my readers, to vote for the president. But why?  If you're still undecided at this point, then there is no hope for you as a person.  And if you're sure you're voting for Romney, then I'm not going to convince you tonight.

Take a good long look at yourself, though, if you find yourself in that former category.  Take a good long look at your candidate.  Who is he?  What does he stand for?  Chances are, your response to those questions will be, "He's not Obama, and that's good enough."

Well, we'll see a few years down the road, won't we?  I don't know about you, but I'd rather vote for the man that I know about.  A man that hasn't flip-flopped his way through this fucking presidential race.  A man that hasn't changed positions to suit his base, or ignored questions from reporters simply because it doesn't follow the narrative that he's trying to put forward.

Forward.  What a great word!  Let's do that tomorrow - move forward. 

I support President Obama.

See you tomorrow night, everyone.  Please don't give me something horrifying to write about.

Boehner Blames President Obama For The Drought.

Is there Socialist Sorcery afoot?  Does President Obama control the weather?  House Majority Speaker John Boehner seems to think so.  According to Talking Points Memo, a website posting and email press release from Boehner's office on Monday says that the president, "continues to blame anyone and everyone for the drought but himself."

It is a well-known fact that President Obama is the anti-Christ, but controlling America's weather?  This explains a lot, folks.  Climate change and global warming aren't real, they're just the result of devil-worshiping witchcraft.  Boehner could be on to something here.  Are the end times coming?  Is Obama warming the world in order to prepare for the minions of Hell?  

Uhm... no.  He just wrote a terribly constructed sentence that made President Obama sound like a wizard.  As soon as TPM reported the original story, Boehner and his team realized their mistake and went back to edit the website posting, found here.  Now the sentence reads, "the president continues to blame anyone and everyone for failing to respond to the drought but himself." 

Need some clarification?  I did too.  Apparently the president attacked Romney's new VP pick over a bill that he voted against in the House that would have provided relief to the suffering farmers of America.  Hence Boehner's issue.  It's important to note here that the quote is directly from Boehner, but the website and email press release came from his spokesperson, Kevin Smith.

Regardless, it's still a pretty hilarious story.  I wouldn't have been surprised if Team Boehner hadn't have gone back to change the wording.  Republicans are ready and willing to blame the president for anything, weather conditions included.  That reminds me, it's raining here in Maine, and I was going to go to the beach tonight.

Goddamn you, Obama!  

GOP Chair Jim Roddey Calls Obama Supporters "Mentally Retarded."

Pictured above is Pennsylvania’s Allegheny County GOP Chair, Jim Roddey.  It should come as no surprise to you that he is old or white, nor should you be shocked when I tell you that at an election party last night, he called Obama supporters "mentally retarded."  Old, white and ignorant: the base of the Republican Party.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports that Roddey was telling a joke in front of about 200 people, saying:

"There was a disappointment tonight. I was very embarrassed. I was in this parking lot and there was a man looking for a space to park, and I found a space for him. And I felt badly -- he looked like he was sort of in distress. And I said, 'Sir, here's a place.' And he said, 'That's a handicapped space.' I said, 'Oh I'm so sorry, I saw that Obama sticker and I thought you were mentally retarded."

And, in case you were wondering, yes, the crowd did indeed applaud and laugh at the joke.

I'm pissed at Roddey for a number of reasons, the biggest being that he just made light of the mentally handicapped.  I do, of course, have an Obama sticker on my car, so I'll just get this out of the way right now:

Fuck you, asshole.

Also, Right-Wing blogs and news outlets will now be talking about how us liberals are overreacting to a joke, and how Roddey meant nothing by it.  This is garbage, and I'll come back to it in a second.  He did apologize today, according to a separate article on the same news site:

In email today, Mr. Roddey called his remarks "regrettable," and added, "I have a long record of supporting people with disabilities and should have remembered that before I spoke. My remarks were inappropriate and I apologize."

I appreciate the apology, but obviously it's not up to me to accept it or decline it.  I am curious, however, as to why Sarah Palin didn't nose her way into this (here's the garbage I mentioned like four sentences ago).  A liberal says something about the handicapped (which I don't condone either) and she jumps all over it, but a conservative makes a distasteful joke and she's silent.  What the fuck, Palin?  Don't pick and choose your battles based on party lines.  That's a pretty strong indication that you don't actually have any moral fortitude on the subject.

Image found at The TexasFred Blog.  

I'm only mentioning that to cite the source.  Don't actually go there.

He's surprisingly quite conservative despite the picture.

Also, he sucks.

Bob Beckel Mispronounces RNC Chairman's Name On Fox.

Bob Beckel, the punching bag for Fox News' program "The Five", made a bit of a slip up Monday night when he accidentally pronounced RNC Chairman Reince Priebus' name as "Free Pussy."  This isn't the first time Beckel has screwed up on television.  Just last April, he told another guest that, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" and live cameras caught every word.  To be fair, his accusation probably wasn't that far off.  He is on Fox News.

Here's what he said the other night:

“I think when [President Barack Obama] started out, he was neutral about Mitt Romney, and frankly so was I.  I thought he was a nice guy. I’ve come to believe he is a terrible — well, I won’t say liar. I wont diminish myself down to where Republicans, or free, free pussy. Fro, free pro. Or, pro-prebus…”

I'm not condemning or approving of what Beckel said because, quite frankly, I think it's just absolutely fucking hilarious.  Priebus does have a strange name, but it sounds nothing like "Free Pussy."  Maybe something else was on Beckel's mind that night?  Hint: It wasn't "pro-prebus."


Click here for the video.*

Reince Priebus has suffered through his name being made fun of before, be it directly or by accident.  Stephen Colbert said it best when he equated the RNC Chairman's name to the Latin term for "erectile dysfunction."

Whether Beckel gets fired or not for saying "pussy" on air hasn't been determined yet.  It is interesting to note, however, that many right-wing blogs and sites claim that he was trying to call Priebus a pussy.  This is ludicrous.  If you watch that video, it's clear that the man was just stuttering and ended up butchering the chairman's name.  Nothing more, and nothing less.

Get over it.  No kids watch Fox News anyway.  Just old, hateful people.  


*For those of you that watched the video, the things that Bolling said before Beckel slipped up are irrelevant to this post.  That's a topic for someone else to cover.

Hate Group Leader Gary Kreep Elected To San Diego Superior Court.

Look at the picture of this man.  I mean really look at it.  Soak it in.  Do some breathing exercises, meditate.  Note the colors, the graphics, the name, the mustache.  Become one with Gary Kreep.  Feel his presence in the world.  When a shiver crawls up your spine, you are ready to proceed.

Mr. Kreep is an anti-government activist that has just been elected to San Diego's Superior Court.  He's also the leader of a hate group (the United States Justice Foundation), an outspoken member of the birther movement, and (according to SPLC) suggested in a 2011 fundraising letter for USJF that Barack Obama is a 'stealth jihadist,' 'Marxist,' and 'strident enemy of America,' who 'is working to destroy our sovereign republic."

Ten Reasons Why Mitt Romney Cannot Relate To The Average American.

We all know that Mitt Romney has the personality of a cardboard cutout of a rice cake, but that can't be the only reason why most Americans can't relate to him, can it?  Seeing as how I came up with this awesome friggin' list, I don't think so.  Romney has a lot going against him in this election, lack of humanity aside.  Here are ten reasons why most Americans have an easier time relating to an empty can of soda than they do to Mitt Romney.

Mitt Romney To Govenor Scott: Your Good News Is Clashing With My Narrative.

One of the biggest issues of the 2012 election is who can create more jobs, President Obama or Mitt Romney.  With a dropping unemployment rate since August of 2011 (excluding last month, of course), it's hard to argue that what Obama is doing isn't working.  The U.S. is, despite the roadblocks set up by a Republican Congress, crawling out of the Great Recession that the president inherited from George Bush.

"But, Shaun!" you might say.  "The president had a Democratic majority in the House and the Senate from 2008 to 2010.  Why didn't he get more done then?!"  Read up on what a filibuster is or, better, how many times the Republicans used it, then get back to me.

Romney Will Give Americans Another War.

Image found at 3chicspolitico.com

It's no secret that the majority of Americans did not look favorably on our war with Iraq, or with the president that took us into that mess.  So why would anybody advocate another war with a country that has not provoked us?  At this point in time, it's a good way to commit political suicide.  

Enter Mitt Romney,  Someone forgot to plug him in the another night to recharge, apparently forcing a system-wide reboot.  A few flips weren't saved, so they flopped.  It was quite the disaster for his management team.

I Work Through My Sadness By Beating Conservatives With Logic.

As many of you know, I had a bit of a breakdown the other night after Scott Walker won his gubernatorial reelection in Wisconsin.  I threw a good ol' fashioned pity party complete with a gallon of chocolate ice cream, sad clown face paint, and six straight hours of crying like a baby.

I'm kidding, of course.  I got really pissed, wrote a blog post that maybe twelve people read, and then went to sleep.  But I bounced back from my anger (I almost deleted this blog) with the help of my good friend Ted over at Jobsanger, and with the realization of two things: that Walker's victory means nothing and that the American media needs to go away.  I'll have more on that stuff in another post.

Jonah Goldberg Takes The Oddly Unpopular Stance Of Beating Young Adults.

Jonah Goldberg, pictured above, is a writer for the National Review as well as the author of "Liberal Facism."  I don't know if anyone remembers, but he was on "The Daily Show" on 1/16/08 to promote said book.  Jon Stewart promptly tore him a new asshole.  I remember the day quite fondly, because it was when I personally fell in love with Stewart's ability to crush subhuman amoebas like Goldberg in any debate.

More to the point, it's now four years later, and I had completely forgotten about him.  Imagine my surprise when I see his face on ThinkProgress, attached to this headline: "National Review Writer: Conservatives Should 'Beat' Young People Who 'Think Socialism Is Better Than Capitalism'." 

The U.S. Catholic Church Tells Jesus To Take His Teachings And Fuck Off.

Did you know that, whether you are Catholic or not, every single American taxpayer gives money to the Catholic Church?  How's that for the separation of church and state?

I'm going to be talking a bit about Obama's contraception mandate here, so if you don't know about it, I suggest you go look it up.  In essence, Obamacare forces employers to offer free birth control to their employees, which created a bit of a holy storm when Catholic organizations (who are notorious for being anti-contraception) realized that this included them.  The president compromised, putting the responsibility on the insurance companies and not the religious institutions, and a majority of Catholic higher-ups liked his new plan.  But not everyone.

Birthers: Natural Born Dumbasses.

It's really no surprise to me that the Birther movement is alive and well in the state of Arizona.  This is the same state, remember, that passes illegal and racist laws on a regular basis and, most surprisingly, has a law on the books stating that there are to be no more than two dildos per household.  You read that right.  Arizona lawmakers actually refer to their residents as "dildos."

...Anyway, the state has a lot of "Birthers" - people that don't believe that our incumbent president is a natural-born American citizen.  The other definition, of course, being:

A natural-born citizen who, by coincidence, happens to be a natural-born racist, natural-born moron, and a natural-born asshole.

Thank you, Urban Dictionary.  

Nightmarish Scenario: Day One Under President Romney.

I want to take a little time to specifically talk about Mitt Romney.  The very definition of a vulture capitalist, Mitt Romney doesn't appear to be as ridiculous as Santorum, Gingrich, Paul, or any of the other Republicans he beat out in the primaries.  But that's only at first glance.

Romney is just as much of an air head as the rest of them.  Many have called him the professional flip-flopper, while others have deemed him a liberal in disguise.  I have to tell ya, guys, if Romney is a liberal, than I must be some kind of radical socialist.

While his religion is off the table in terms of mocking the man himself, I want to get something quickly out of the way: I think Mormonism is one of the most ridiculous excuses for a religion that the Earth has every seen.  It's right up there with Scientology and Pastafarianism (the latter, of course, being a "mock religion").  In essence, I believe Mormonism to be a farce.  Tolerance be damned.

There are three things about Romney I want to share, and none of them are personal.  They are, in fact, policy based.  While it is six months from the election and policy can change (I honestly don't believe he'll even be elected), here is where Romney stands on the Keystone XL Pipeline, Obamacare, and the national budget.

Fox News Breaks Itself.

It's no secret to any of my regular readers: I hate Fox News.  As Stephen Colbert once famously said, "Reality has a liberal bias," and how can you make conservative news realistic while appealing to conservatives?

The quick answer is that you don't.  Realism has to be thrown out the door in exchange for a more fantastical view of the things going on in the world.  Fox News is nothing but blowhard opinions and right-wing propaganda.

Here's a good way I learned to help spell it out for people.  Let's say that it's snowing outside.  Fox News would say, "It's snowing outside because Obama declared a War on Christmas and this is God's punishment unto us."  Real news would say, "It's snowing outside."

So when reality somehow does slip its way into any crevice of the Fox Machine, I always find myself wondering if the entire operation will collapse on itself like a dying star.  Take, for example, a recent Fox News poll conducted by phone between May 13-15 of this year.  In it, 913 people were polled and the results were not something that Fox News appreciated: Obama beat out Romney 46% to 39%.  The other 15%?  Not sure.  I would have liked to have found out but, oddly enough, I can't find the actual poll on the Fox News website. 


These were live interviews, by the way, not robot calls. 

Here's where shit gets hilarious.  Allow me to pass the ball over to Don Hamel from AddictingInfo.org.  Don writes:

So what does Fox do, when their own poll shows Americans prefer Obama?

Everything they can.

Media Matters has compiled a video showing various Fox hosts and news anchors frantically trying to walk back, talk around, downplay, dismiss, re-interpret and generally deny the findings of a recent Fox News Poll, showing President Obama leading Mitt Romney by seven points.

In other words, DAMAGE CONTROL.

Here's the video from Media Matters.  It gets really interesting about halfway through when it becomes clear that the anchors and pundits are tired of being subtly dismissive of the poll.

  



Regardless of what any poll says, I still believe that they're all inaccurate.  The only one that matters will take place in early November.  And if the corporate lapdog known as Mitt Romney becomes president, I will get up and move to Canada.  It's not far from where I live - maybe a bit over a hundred miles.