One Last Thought Before Election Day.

Here we are, folks.  Election Day at last.  I am supporting President Obama, and making sure that some of my co-workers are getting out to vote for him tomorrow as well.  Make no mistake: Maine will vote for the president.

But what about you? Who are you going to vote for?

To be honest, I really don't give a fuck who you're voting for tomorrow.  Just get out and vote.  If you don't vote, I'm not going to listen to you bitch and moan for the next four years.  You'll lose that right.

More honesty: I was going to sit here and try to urge you, my readers, to vote for the president. But why?  If you're still undecided at this point, then there is no hope for you as a person.  And if you're sure you're voting for Romney, then I'm not going to convince you tonight.

Take a good long look at yourself, though, if you find yourself in that former category.  Take a good long look at your candidate.  Who is he?  What does he stand for?  Chances are, your response to those questions will be, "He's not Obama, and that's good enough."

Well, we'll see a few years down the road, won't we?  I don't know about you, but I'd rather vote for the man that I know about.  A man that hasn't flip-flopped his way through this fucking presidential race.  A man that hasn't changed positions to suit his base, or ignored questions from reporters simply because it doesn't follow the narrative that he's trying to put forward.

Forward.  What a great word!  Let's do that tomorrow - move forward. 

I support President Obama.

See you tomorrow night, everyone.  Please don't give me something horrifying to write about.

Karl Rove Gets Warned By Anonymous: Rig The Election And See What Happens.

I saw this today and knew that I just had to write about it.  On October 22nd, the legendary internet group "Anonymous" put out a video claiming that the Republicans, specifically Karl Rove and his cronies, are going to try to rig the 2012 election.  Watch it below:

 Here's the transcript (typed out by me) just in case the video doesn't work (or ceases to):

"Karl Rove.  American Crossroads.  We are Anonymous.  We are watching you.  We know that you will attempt to rig the election of Mitt Romney to your favor.  We will watch as your merry band of conspirators try to achieve this overthrow of the United States government.  

"We see that you have taken steps to ensure that this election race is a close race, so you can step in and rig the numbers to elect your candidate, and then claim because it was a tight race, that your candidate was able to narrowly squeak ahead and win.  

"We want you to know that we are watching you, waiting for you to make the mistake of thinking you can rig this election to your favor.  We want you to know that if we catch you, we will turn over all of this data to the appropriate officials in the hopes that you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  We are watching and monitoring all of your servers.  We are watching traffic on each of them for anything suspicious.  You will not get away with any fraud without consequences.  

"We are Anonymous.  We are Legion.  We do not forgive.  We do not forget.  Expect us."

Here's a little bit of information about Anonymous for those of you that aren't familiar, courtesy of Nathaniel Downes, a fellow writer at Addicting Info:

Anonymous members, well-known for their dismantling of pedophile rings, botnets and other illegal activities, operate as electronic vigilantes. They can and do break into systems and whisk away key evidence which has put criminals behind bars. And now, the antics of the GOP party bosses, such as Karl Rove and his American Crossroads organization, are in their sights.

Something people do not grasp about Anonymous is that it is not an organization in the traditional sense. In fact, it is not organized at all. Instead it is a case of applied anarchy, a conglomerate of similarly focused ideologies which cooperate when they have conforming interest. By the time a video like this appears, there is already a large pool of people with a common interest with their focus aligned.

There is no head, there are no leaders, there is no organization to dismantle. You cannot reason with them, bribe them, manipulate them, or threaten them. They are legion, their numbers incalculable. 

Many people are even part of Anonymous without ever realizing it, helping out a friend at the office with a tricky piece of code or an online friend who wants to know how to plug a hole in their firewall. This non-existence makes it impossible to address in a traditional manner.

They are, quite literally, anonymous.

Let me shoot some of your thoughts down right now.  If you're thinking that Anonymous can't possibly know that Karl Rove plans to rig the election, you're wrong.  It is possible that they are lying, yes. But it's also very likely that they have this information.

If you're thinking that there is no way to rig the elections then, again, you are wrong.  Very wrong.  Read this article about how retired NSA analyst Michael Duniho discovered actual proof of GOP election rigging thanks to what can be called an "electronic fingerprint."

And if you are thinking that GOP is going to get away with this, well, you're wrong there too.  Here's what you can do.  Spread awareness of this rigging, either by sharing this article (or finding others like it) on Facebook and Twitter (again, I make no money from this site so there's nothing in it for me).

You can also share the Anonymous video.

Aside from raising awareness, you can beat the GOP rigging machine by getting out to vote six days from now, on November 6th.  This is extremely important.  Do not let the Republican Party take our right to vote - our right to be heard! - away.  We have a voice, and we cannot let it be silenced.

Soledad O'Brien Wrecks T-Paw With Facts.

Soledad O'Brien sporting her famous "stop trying to bullshit me" look.

 Following John Sununu's disastrous appearance on CNN against Soledad O'Brien on Tuesday, Mitt Romney sent his national campaign co-chair Tim Pawlenty down to the hot seat to set some facts straight about the "cuts" from Medicare.

Yeah, he, uhh... he didn't do that.  At all.

Has Romney Disqualified Himself From Running For President?

Is Romney ineligible to become the next President of the United States of America?  It's a very real possibility, especially since he threw a few fundraisers during his disastrous little overseas meet n' greet a few weeks ago.  These fundraisers were extremely private, with no journalists present (with the exception of one who did not have access to the donors), no filming or photography allowed, no diligence done, and no donor ID's checked.  If money changed hands at these rich shin-digs (which I'm sure they did, you know... being FUND RAISERS and all), Romney could be in a lot of trouble. 

But why?  Let's ask the Supreme Court and their 9-0 decision that they threw down in Bluman v. Federal Election Commission:

(a) Prohibition

 

It shall be unlawful for —

(1) a foreign national, directly or indirectly, to make —

(A) a contribution or donation of money or other thing of value, or to make an express or implied promise to make a contribution or donation, in connection with a Federal, State, or local election;

(B) a contribution or donation to a committee of a political party; or

(C) an expenditure, independent expenditure, or disbursement for an electioneering communication (within the meaning of section 434(f)(3) of this title); or

(2) a person to solicit, accept, or receive a contribution or donation described in subparagraph 

(A) or (B) of paragraph (1) from a foreign national.

 

2 U.S.C. § 441e(a).[fn2] The statute continues to define "foreign national" to include all foreign citizens except those who have been admitted as lawful permanent residents. Id. § 441e(b). 

Huh.  Very interesting, Supreme Court, thank you.  

 

Romney, already having to evade the demands of the American people to see his tax returns, will now have to prove that he hasn't accepted foreign money to fund his campaign.  Considering no records were apparently kept, that could prove difficult.  If he has taken foreign money, then he is 100% ineligible for the Commander-in-Chief position, but very eligible for a cozy jail cell in some white-collar prison.

As Veterans Today points out:

"If you go outside the US, if you stay inside the US, if your contributor is living in the US but not a citizen, any money you get can mean years in jail.

"Romney went the whole way, personally campaigning outside the US, soliciting foreign citizens, and humiliating himself and his country with his ignorance and flagrant attempts to trade illegal cash for promises of illegal war.  One could hardly break more laws if one wanted.

"Romney has raised millions in foreign cash at fundraising event across Israel and London, those that we know of so far.  One table alone gave him a million in cash.  None was from American citizens.  Fewer than 10% of Romney’s contributors in Israel are estimated to be “dual citizens.” Others may have just flown the money in."

So what do you think?  Is Romney in trouble?  Or will he bury this just like he did his tax returns?  

 

Porn Star Jenna Jameson Supports Mitt Romney.

Barbie-American Jenna Jameson recently announced her support of Mitt Romney.  The former adult film actress surprised the few people that give a shit, as she was apparently supportive of Hillary Clinton in 2008, and is also a member of PETA (I probably don't have to remind you of Romney's "Dog on the Roof" incident).  Also, I just found those things out like eight seconds ago.

Truth be told, I don't care who she endorses.  Not because of her past career or anything, but because, to me, this isn't really news.  Jenna Jameson is just a hair above ordinary in my book. 

So why am I writing about it if I don't care?  Because it's funny as shit.  Here's what she said when she endorses Romney, according to CBS (who broke the story):

"I'm very looking forward to a Republican being back in office," Jameson said while sipping champagne in a VIP room at Gold Club in the city's South of Market neighborhood. "When you're rich, you want a Republican in office."

Hey, at least she's being honest, right?  The Republican Party of today is pretty much in lockstep with the wealthiest among us.  People making over $250,000 a year would (human rights aside) be silly not to vote for Romney.

But hey, this is good news for Mitt's campaign.  Now Romney has someone on his side that changes positions as much as he does (and she's probably just as experienced when it comes to screwing others). 

Joe Williams Is Falsely Accused Of Making Racist Comments.

Pictured above is Joe Williams, the White House Correspondent for Politico that recently came under fire by the right-wing reality spin known as Breitbart.com for a comment he made on MSNBC's Martin Bashir Live.  First of all, let's look at the comment that started the shitstorm:

"It’s very interesting that he does so many appearances on Fox & Friends. And it’s unscripted. It’s the only time they let Mitt off the leash, so to speak. But it also points out a larger problem he’s got to solve if he wants to be successful come this fall: Romney is very, very comfortable, it seems, with people who are like him. That’s one of the reasons why he seems so stiff and awkward in some town hall settings, why he can’t relate to people other than that. But when he comes on Fox & Friends, they’re like him. They’re white folks who are very much relaxed in their own company."   

Ten Reasons Why Mitt Romney Cannot Relate To The Average American.

We all know that Mitt Romney has the personality of a cardboard cutout of a rice cake, but that can't be the only reason why most Americans can't relate to him, can it?  Seeing as how I came up with this awesome friggin' list, I don't think so.  Romney has a lot going against him in this election, lack of humanity aside.  Here are ten reasons why most Americans have an easier time relating to an empty can of soda than they do to Mitt Romney.

Mitt Romney To Govenor Scott: Your Good News Is Clashing With My Narrative.

One of the biggest issues of the 2012 election is who can create more jobs, President Obama or Mitt Romney.  With a dropping unemployment rate since August of 2011 (excluding last month, of course), it's hard to argue that what Obama is doing isn't working.  The U.S. is, despite the roadblocks set up by a Republican Congress, crawling out of the Great Recession that the president inherited from George Bush.

"But, Shaun!" you might say.  "The president had a Democratic majority in the House and the Senate from 2008 to 2010.  Why didn't he get more done then?!"  Read up on what a filibuster is or, better, how many times the Republicans used it, then get back to me.

Romney Will Give Americans Another War.

Image found at 3chicspolitico.com

It's no secret that the majority of Americans did not look favorably on our war with Iraq, or with the president that took us into that mess.  So why would anybody advocate another war with a country that has not provoked us?  At this point in time, it's a good way to commit political suicide.  

Enter Mitt Romney,  Someone forgot to plug him in the another night to recharge, apparently forcing a system-wide reboot.  A few flips weren't saved, so they flopped.  It was quite the disaster for his management team.

Scott Walker Wins And I Lose Faith In This Country.

This idiot re-won the governor seat in an unconventional Wisconsin election tonight, proving that if you've got money and friends in the right places (with money!), you can pretty much buy democracy. 

Side note: I have absolutely given up on this fucking country.  This is heart-wrenching. 

With Scott Walker winning again, despite the horrible way in which he has run his state in the last couple of years, it's actually possible that Mitt Romney could win the presidency.  I'm not saying that Wisconsin has that much pull in the election come November.  I'm merely stating that Americans are as ignorant and as unintelligent as the rest of the world thinks we are.  Fact. 

With this win for Walker, we have proven to the world that we can be bought, and that we are dumb enough to believe blatant lies in the face of facts.  We are a blemish on this planet, and a war in which the rest of the world unites against us cannot possibly come soon enough.

I pledge to you all that if Romney wins this November, I will pack up and move overseas so long as I have the financial means to do it.  I don't care where.  For an added bonus, I will document that journey with actual photographs of me moving my shit out of my apartment here in Maine.

And it will culminate in me renouncing my citizenship of this backward moving, homophobic, misogynistic, plutocratic, theocratic mass of land that embarrassingly calls itself "The Land of the Free."    

Now I know what some of you (white older males) are thinking: "Good!  Get out of here, you unpatriotic son-of-a-bitch!"  And that's totally fine.  Because I don't want to be here when the rest of the world realizes we are still breeding, watering down the collective gene pool with racists, bigots, and all-around assholes.   

Smoking Out Fraudulent Voters In Florida.

Pictured above is Rick Scott, the Republican Governor of Florida.  While he looks as though he has just been plucked and boiled, I assure you that he's just naturally unnatural.

His brain, however, I can't vouch for.  As many of you have heard, Scott has been moving forward with a plan to purge people from the voting rolls - people that, he believes, do not have the right to vote.  The list of names is astronomically flawed, as you can imagine.  It's no coincidence that most of the list consists of Hispanic Americans and people that frequently vote Democrat.

In a not-so-subtle way, Scott is trying to give Florida to Mitt Romney before the November election.

Nightmarish Scenario: Day One Under President Romney.

I want to take a little time to specifically talk about Mitt Romney.  The very definition of a vulture capitalist, Mitt Romney doesn't appear to be as ridiculous as Santorum, Gingrich, Paul, or any of the other Republicans he beat out in the primaries.  But that's only at first glance.

Romney is just as much of an air head as the rest of them.  Many have called him the professional flip-flopper, while others have deemed him a liberal in disguise.  I have to tell ya, guys, if Romney is a liberal, than I must be some kind of radical socialist.

While his religion is off the table in terms of mocking the man himself, I want to get something quickly out of the way: I think Mormonism is one of the most ridiculous excuses for a religion that the Earth has every seen.  It's right up there with Scientology and Pastafarianism (the latter, of course, being a "mock religion").  In essence, I believe Mormonism to be a farce.  Tolerance be damned.

There are three things about Romney I want to share, and none of them are personal.  They are, in fact, policy based.  While it is six months from the election and policy can change (I honestly don't believe he'll even be elected), here is where Romney stands on the Keystone XL Pipeline, Obamacare, and the national budget.

Fox News Breaks Itself.

It's no secret to any of my regular readers: I hate Fox News.  As Stephen Colbert once famously said, "Reality has a liberal bias," and how can you make conservative news realistic while appealing to conservatives?

The quick answer is that you don't.  Realism has to be thrown out the door in exchange for a more fantastical view of the things going on in the world.  Fox News is nothing but blowhard opinions and right-wing propaganda.

Here's a good way I learned to help spell it out for people.  Let's say that it's snowing outside.  Fox News would say, "It's snowing outside because Obama declared a War on Christmas and this is God's punishment unto us."  Real news would say, "It's snowing outside."

So when reality somehow does slip its way into any crevice of the Fox Machine, I always find myself wondering if the entire operation will collapse on itself like a dying star.  Take, for example, a recent Fox News poll conducted by phone between May 13-15 of this year.  In it, 913 people were polled and the results were not something that Fox News appreciated: Obama beat out Romney 46% to 39%.  The other 15%?  Not sure.  I would have liked to have found out but, oddly enough, I can't find the actual poll on the Fox News website. 


These were live interviews, by the way, not robot calls. 

Here's where shit gets hilarious.  Allow me to pass the ball over to Don Hamel from AddictingInfo.org.  Don writes:

So what does Fox do, when their own poll shows Americans prefer Obama?

Everything they can.

Media Matters has compiled a video showing various Fox hosts and news anchors frantically trying to walk back, talk around, downplay, dismiss, re-interpret and generally deny the findings of a recent Fox News Poll, showing President Obama leading Mitt Romney by seven points.

In other words, DAMAGE CONTROL.

Here's the video from Media Matters.  It gets really interesting about halfway through when it becomes clear that the anchors and pundits are tired of being subtly dismissive of the poll.

  



Regardless of what any poll says, I still believe that they're all inaccurate.  The only one that matters will take place in early November.  And if the corporate lapdog known as Mitt Romney becomes president, I will get up and move to Canada.  It's not far from where I live - maybe a bit over a hundred miles. 

Conservative Talking Points Debunked.

Now that Romney is the Republican candidate, all of the Conservative talking points are (once again) being flung at President Obama - that he's a Muslim, that he wasn't born in the United States, yaddah yaddah yaddah.  Wait, sorry.  I say that like people ever shut the fuck up for a second to let the president do his job.  I should rephrase.  After the harrowing Republican primaries and debates, during which we watched a bunch of white people verbally abuse the living shit out of each other, the Right has rearmed and re-aimed its nonsense machine at the president. 

Well, folks, you've seen the man's birth certificate from Hawaii.  He says he's not a Muslim (as if his religion really matters), and he's yet to impose any Satanic/Islamic laws on us good Christians.  So I'm going to go ahead and say it: Stop.  Just stop.  

Dumb people already bought into that shit, and those of us intelligent Americans with not-so-short attention spans remember 2008.  We've heard it all before.  We didn't believe it then, and we won't believe it now.  No facts, no case.  You don't need to repeat yourself for the mouth-breathers of America.  They've been repeating that nonsense like it's gospel since McCain lost.

This is why President Obama is laughing in the picture above.  He is going to win reelection in 2012, as long as he can get his base motivated enough to get out and vote.  What is Romney going to dig up on him that people haven't heard already?  Nothing.  All he can do is regurgitate talking points for the next six months.  Here are just a few spun as the right-wing would.

1.) President Obama took credit for killing Osama Bin Laden - the credit belongs to the troops.  Well, yes and no.  President Obama often makes it known that OBL wouldn't have been taken out had it not been for the brave actions of our men and women in uniform.  Here's a fun fact: Bush had the opportunity to get Osama and he didn't take it.  President Obama made the decision to infiltrate Bin Laden's compound, and he did it despite everyone in his cabinet telling him not to.  In the end, Bin Laden was shot in the face, and everyone made it out alive.  Had Obama not made that call, the mastermind of 9/11 would still be loose, and the Navy Seals of Seal Team Six never would have entered Pakistan.   

2.) President Obama wants to take away our 2nd Amendment Rights.  This is false.  He has strengthened it, if anything, and only wants to take automatic weapons off the table.  It's a fair trade, I think.  Would you be comfortable seeing anybody walk down the street with an AK-47?  I doubt it.  Of course, the leader of the N.R.A., Wayne LaPierre, wants everyone to believe it's all a conspiracy, that the president will put his full plan into action in his second term.  Wayne LaPierre is also a fucking idiot.

3.) President Obama has increased taxes on the middle class, and has not pulled us out of the recession.  This is also false.  President Obama has not increased taxes on the middle class, and the jobless numbers are slowly dwindling.  If the Republicans would have compromised more with the Democrats over the last four years, things would be a lot better now. 

 4.) Obama is a Socialist.  Dead.  Fucking.  Wrong.  While bailing out the auto industry was a socialist move, look at the result.  The auto industry paid back all the money with interest before his first term was over!  President Obama is not a socialist - he's a progressive.  It doesn't matter, really.  Socialism is actually a great thing.  Americans, particularly conservatives, have it in their heads that it's a bad thing after the Red Scare.  Please understand that Socialism and Communism are two very different things.

President Obama Reveals Communist Ideals With New Slogan.

Above is President Obama's new campaign slogan.  On the surface it means that he wants to take America and the American people forward.  By and large, I think we can all agree that this is a good thing.  Nobody wants to go backward. 

But what's the subtext?  That President Obama wants to take America and the American people forward?  No, no, no.  It's far more sinister.

Thankfully we have people in this country that know the true meaning of "forward", as well as what Obama's next move as president would be if he wins the 2012 election.  Just a note for all my conservative readers:  I'm being facetious in that last sentence.  Forward means forward and little else.

Steve Doocy Proves He Is Not A Journalist (As If He Needed To).

"Fox & Friends" television personality and part-time Strutting Leo Impersonator Steve Doocy (pictured above) recently came under fire for his underhanded interpretation of something that President Obama said.  He and the rest of Roger Ailes' cronies over at Faux News have been trying to twist Obama's "silver spoon" quote for a few days now by making seem like it was an attack on Romney.  This all culminated on Thursday when none other than Mitt Romney himself was interviewed on "Fox & Friends" by Doocy.

Wondering how Romney was reacting to the latest jab from the president, Doocy brought him up to speed: "He said, uh, 'Unlike some people, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth'."  Burn, right?  Except President Obama never said, "Unlike some people."  In fact, he wasn't even talking about Mitt Romney.  He was talking about education beyond high school.

What he said was: "We created a foundation for those of us to prosper.  Somebody gave me an education.  I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.  Michele wasn't.  But somebody gave us a chance."

The Attack On Woman's Rights.

With each day that passes, there's a new headline announcing how yet another state has pushed to repeal some form of a woman's rights.  It's too bad, then, that our disgustingly lazy media would rather report on how large Kim Kardashian's ass has gotten, or the ongoing feud between Hillary Rosen and Ann Romney (which is a pointless argument - both are kind of wrong).

Let's start from the top.  Democrats and liberals, noticing that Republicans and conservatives have become more and more focused on passing legislation that involves only women, began to claim that the GOP was trying to start a war on women.  Republicans and their media arm, Fox News, shot back with the ever-so-adult, "Nah-uh!  You are!"  

Now, to say that this is a "war" is both ridiculous and sensationalist.  It isn't a war.  That's insulting for two reasons: 1) It trivializes actual war (like the one in Afganistan) and 2) It makes it sound like legislators are reaching for their weapons and firing at women.  The proper term, I think, is "attack."  Politicians are attacking the same rights that women have been working towards for the last one-hundred plus years.

Ten Logic Fallacies Used By Politicians (Part Two).

Before I finish this list off, I again want to thank E. Magill over at The Unapologetic Geek for compiling this list.  While the logical fallacy selections are his, the commentary is my own.

We're all aware of how most elected officials have their own way of speaking, much like lawyers do.  The best of them can turn an argument on its head or have you believing something that is completely fictitious.  Here are the five remaining tactics to look out for the next time you hear any politician talk.

And yes, I saved the cool Latin ones for last.

1.) Ignoratio Elenchi.

Political Spitfire - Two Week Round Up.

So I've been absent for a little while, as I'm sure my regular readers have noticed.  My fan page and special blog email have flooded with questions like, "Where are you?" and "Where the hell are you?" (Not really).  Well, I've been sick.  With the flu. 

And what a horrible time to be sick it was.  I missed so much and, because of that, you missed so much.  Because I'm your only source for news.  Right?

...Right?

Anyway, rather than make empty promises about how I'm going to catch up on all that stuff, I'm just going to quickly recap the things I would've written about had I not been sleeping away my illness.  Buckle your seat belts, people.

1.) Rush Limbaugh

Not 48 hours after my last post in which I criticized him for his remarks towards Danica Patrick, Rush Limbaugh dug himself a deeper grave when he called Sandra Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute."  The day after that, he insisted that if women want the taxpayer's to pay for their contraception, then we (I assume he means himself there and not the taxpayers as a whole) "should get something out of it."  That something being internet videos of said women having sex.  As numerous groups, sites, and individuals have pointed out, Rush Limbaugh has absolutely no idea what he is talking about at any level.  I won't get into that myself, but I urge you to cross reference what he said with actual facts.  The results will surprise you.  Also, Limbaugh has since lost more than one hundred sponsors from his show.  I sincerely hope that this marks the end of Limbaugh's hold on shitty talk radio as well.

2.) James Inhofe

An actual living, breathing senator of the United States of America declared that global warming is a hoax, so sayeth the Lord.  "Well actually the Genesis 8:22 that I use in there is that 'as long as the earth remains there will be springtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night.' My point is, God’s still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous."  You know what's outrageous, senator?  The fact that you represent this country.  You're basically saying that science, as well as basic ideas like "cause and effect," are nonsense.  Seriously.  Who voted these fucking idiots in?

3.) Missouri House of Representatives Advances Anti-Discrimination Bill

...For gun owners.  Oh, good.  Because when I woke up this morning, I was thinking that people with guns have been discriminated against for far too long.

4.) Andrew Breitbart

To me, his death was irrelevant.  That's not to say that I feel sorry for his family's loss, as well as for a death that came far too soon.  But apparently Breitbart had in his possession video taped evidence that would connect President Obama to *insert scary group here*.  When he died, several right-wing groups immediately suspected foul play and accused the Obama Administration of having Breitbart killed.  Despite the fact that Breitbart's own family shared the cause of his death without too much hesitation.  Oh, and the video taped evidence that Breitbart assured us would bring down the Obama Administration?  It was released, despite his death.  It was of Obama hugging the first black tenured professor at Harvard.  Scary stuff.  As ThinkProgress reports, PBS's Frontline program aired the same "damning" footage days before the 2008 election.  Whoops.

5.) Sarah Palin

My favorite Alaskan girl.  We go way back, her and I.  She was one of the first posts I ever wrote on this blog.  I put forth the hypothesis that she is really Predator from the alien action movies.  I think it was to prove a point.  I'm not really sure.  What I am sure of is that Palin accused President Obama of wanting to "go back to before [the days of the Civil War] when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin."  First of all, we are in different classes based on income.  Two, really.  Poor and wealthy.  The middle class is pretty much gone at this point.  Second of all (and more importantly), if President Obama wanted to return us to the days where classes were based on the color of our skin, wouldn't that be a bit of a step back for him?  How does this rhetoric even make sense?  For the love of all that is right in this world, please shut the fuck up.

6.) Mitt Romney

He's still trying to get everyone to like him, and he's still showing that he can't relate to anybody but his wealthy friends.  I'd be more excited talking to a saltine and a gallon of off-white paint than I would be voting for Romney.  I'm sure it would be a stimulating conversation.  If he wins the delegates, Republicans will back him, but not enthusiastically.  It's obvious to a lot of people that Obama will be in the White House for four more years.

7.) Wisconsin GOP

After the wave of anti-governor sentiment washed through the capital, the state GOP made sure to let their constituents know that they were listening - by boarding up all the doors and windows.  The GOP in the state assembly voted to amend the state constitution in order to make it harder for officials to be booted out of their office.  This really pisses me off.  Instead of listening to what the voters were saying (i.e. "You aren't doing your fucking job and we don't want you making laws for us anymore"), the politicians in the capital changed the rules to keep their jobs and to continue doing their dirty business.  Hey.  Guess what?  You're there because people voted you in.  If they want you out, one way or another, you're coming out.

8.) Rick Santorum

Someone dug up an interview back from 1994 in which Santorum claimed that, "Moms raising children in single-parent households simply [breed] more criminals." He also, according to ThinkProgress, introduced legislation during his second term as congressman that would have denied welfare benefits to mothers who could not name their child's father.  Asshole.

Republican Presidential Candidates And You.

So many good choices... how could we possibly just

choose one?!

Before I get into the meat of this article (or, more appropriately, the gristle and fat), I want to acknowledge something that I'm willing to bet everyone was expecting me to write about.  Representative Anthony Weiner has caught a lot of deserved flak for tweeting pictures of his... weiner... and having some very strange contact with young women.  He is a married, is a Democrat and, while he did nothing illegal to my knowledge, is still responsible for creating a media sideshow full of obvious puns that lasted far longer than it should have.

I didn't mean to ignore this whole scandal.  I wanted to write about it.  The thing is, I have a habit of watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, both of which covered this thing extensively.  Hell, Jon Stewart went to high school with the guy.  They said so much about the incident, I decided that I wouldn't write about it in order to avoid accidently copying a joke or two.  I wasn't trying to dodge it because Representative Weiner is a Democrat.  He deserves just as much hell as anyone else, regardless of what political party he is in.  Truth be told, I think it's more appalling that he lied about it.  "I cannot say with certainty that that is a picture of me"?  Really?  C'mon.  No one bought that.  You should know your own junk shot if you saw it, particularly at your age.  You should be able to pick yours out of a line up of 1,000 by the time you're 40 years old.  

Ugh.  Moving on.