President Obama - The First Pro-Gay Marriage President.

For those of you wondering where your video is, I said (perhaps predictably) "fuck it" to iMovie.  It's a royal pain in the ass, and I'm too technologically inept to put something together.  I worked on my baby project for hours - don't think I didn't! - but my need to get it all perfect in one take quickly drove me to madness.  

So fuck iMovie.  Fuck YouTube.  You're all stuck with me and my wall of text.  I have admitted defeat.

But there are several fights that I won't back down on, and a good portion of them revolve around the man pictured above.  This post is going to be quite long as I have a lot to catch up on.  Get comfortable, and prepare your eyeballs (and your mind) for the radically socialist/liberal attack that they are about to be on the shit-end of.  In an effort to help some people with short attention spans (including myself), I will be breaking this post into several smaller posts.  I might continue to do this... but I tend to rant. 

American Intolerance Is Getting Worse.

Photo courtesy of ThinkProgress

Social issues are coming and going like the ocean's tide these days.  In comes contraception, out goes contraception.  In comes violence and racism, out goes violence and racism.  What's next?  My money's on the gay marriage debate - I'm sure that isn't over.

But for now, we're still in the tide of racism.  Trayvon Martin's death at the hands of George Zimmerman is widely publicized because of three big issues: 1) How important race seems to be in the eyes of biased police, 2) Florida's "Stand Your Ground" Law, and 3) The fact that Zimmerman was allowed to walk away that night, murder weapon in hand.

What about the death of Shaima Alawadi of San Diego, California?  A mother of five, Alawadi fled Iraq and Saddam Hussein's brutality back in 1993.  See that?  She fled Hussein only to be murdered by an ignorant American with a tire iron.

Kirk Cameron Should Be Ignored.

Kirk Cameron.  Had it not been for my brief exposure to the show "Growing Pains" when I was very little, I would have absolutely no clue who this guy is.  As it should be.

Cameron, as you may remember, came under fire recently after telling Piers Morgan his view towards homosexuality: "I think that it's - it's - it's unnatural. I think that it's - it's detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization."

He then turned around and acted like Piers Morgan ambushed him, claiming that the interview was supposed to be about his movie.  Controversial celebrity, meet journalist.  Journalist, meet controversial celebrity.  What the fuck did you think was going to happen, Cameron? 

Ten Logic Fallacies Used By Politicians (Part One).

Before I begin this particular post (and the one to follow), I want to thank E. Magill over at The Unapologetic Geek for compiling this list.  While the logical fallacy selections are his, the commentary is my own.

We're all aware of how most elected officials have their own way of speaking, much like lawyers do.  The best of them can turn an argument on its head or have you believing something that is completely fictitious.  Here are the first five of ten specific tactics to look out for the next time you hear any politician talk.

1.) The Straw Man Argument.

Outlaw Contraception?

I'm not a huge fan of any of the Republican Presidential candidates, and I pretty much laugh at the idea that the party will "take back America" in November.  When I think of the people that these out-of-touch individuals represent, a few things come to mind: the constituents are either: 1) Rich, 2) old, 3) extremely religious, or 4) extremely ignorant.  Oh, and I suppose one last thing.  I tend to think of most republicans to be male.  Why? 

Well, the answer to that is a long one.  Suffice it to say that the republican party rarely puts forth legislation that helps women.  The big issue is one everyone is familiar with - abortion.  I personally don't believe that men should pass legislation on things that do not affect them.  I tried to think of a good metaphor for this, starting with, "That would be like female legislators trying to pass a law that...", but no dice.  The truth is, whatever the flip-side of that is, it would probably cause permanent physical damage that would result in no less than two bodily functions from...functioning. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I do not understand why any woman would vote republican.  Men?  Sure.  We're dumb enough to do shit like that.  But not you ladies.  

True Marriage is Between A Man, A Woman, and The Man She is Cheating on Her Husband With.

 

The Republican Minnesota State Senate Majority Leader (that's quite the mouthful), Amy Koch, is definitely for traditional marriage - no question about it.  She authored a bill that would define marriage in her state to be between a man and a woman.  Not man and man.  Not woman and woman.  Not man and beast (we all know that's what homosexuality leads to).  

Unfortunately, her "righteous" crusade has ended, destroyed by the very thing she had campaigned against - the gays.  While she did not acknowledge this, John Medeiros, co-curator of Minneapolis' Intermedia Arts' Queer Voices reading series, most certainly did.  So what happened?

Well, married Senator Koch resigned because she had an "inappropriate affair" with an unnamed male staffer.  Who it is doesn't really matter.  What matters is that he was not Mr. Koch, and neither was his penis (I hope).  

David Koch: Philanthropist By Day, Batman Villain By Night.

I know I said that I would be talking about the Koch Brothers, but it's much easier to talk primarily about David Koch.  His brother, Charles, is like-minded when it comes to politics, and I figured a long post about two old white guys would start to sound dreadfully bland - "white," if you will.  Then again, most of my political posts are about white guys.

At any rate, as I was reading about David Koch, I found that he reminded me of Harvey Dent.  Hell, maybe they're related.  Harvey Dent is, of course, a purely fictional character that also goes by the name of "Two-Face."  Just ask Batman.  Reading through David's biography is like reading the journal of a schizophrenic.  On one day he's saving lives, and on the next day he's blowing up cities.   It created a bit of a conundrum for me because, unlike Roger Ailes and Pat Robertson, David Koch has actually done good things.  He gives millions to charities and organizations as well as to art and education programs.  You know that show Nova on PBS?  He donated $7 million to it!

If David Koch's history of giving stopped right there, I'd label him a bona-fide philanthropist and call this post finished.  Unfortunately, it doesn't.  You get the feeling after reading through the full list of his donations that he really only gives to charity in order to save face.  That sounds awful, I know, but hear me out.

Gay Marriage In New York? What's Next!?

Written By Tim Bob-Joe.

I was mighty humbled when the writer of "A Sane Break" gave me permission to write a guest blog post that would be featured today.  I had planned on writing about Nascar, God, and wholesome Christian values, but last night's news completely blew that idea out of the water.

Now I'm stuck writin' about them queers in New York.  Can you believe it!?  Homosexuals are now allowed to marry in one of the most populated states in America!  How dare they infringe on my sacred, God-given right to marry a woman, and then foul that marriage in any way I see fit?  Now they can cheat on their spouses now too!  

This is some bullshit.  What kind of left-wing, socialist country has America been turned into?  It's that Osama - I mean, Obama - 's fault.  Came into office as one of them whatchamacallit "community organizers", leading this country with his arugula-eatin' elitist values.  You know, I heard he wasn't even a CHRISTIAN.  One o' them Mohammed fellers.  

David Tyree Should Stick To Sports And Stop Talking.

Shhhhh.  It's quiet time.

It's no secret that I am all for the legalization of gay marriage.  Yes, it's true.  I don't have the time nor the emotional capacity to waste on a feeling as idiotic as homophobia.  This isn't 10,000 B.C.  Men do not show their dominance over each other by... *ahem* making other men be submissive.

Evolutionarily speaking, that's where this pervasive male feeling of homophobia comes from.  Back when we were more animal than human, men proved their status as alpha male by making those beneath them in station be literally beneath them for, let's just say, 1-4 minutes.  Notice how most women don't see the big deal with gay marriage?  Ever seen a heterosexual woman shirk away from a homosexual woman?  Probably not, unless they were extremely religious.

But I digress.  The fact of the matter is, it's the 21st century.  We are making technological leaps every single day and yet, socially, we seem to be moving backwards.  And I don't mean overall.  We were making progress several years ago.  Now that whole effort seems to be withdrawing from the shore like waves at low tide.  

With all this newfound, misled and unfortunate hate aimed at the followers of Islam, illegal immigrants, and gay men and women, I have to wonder... what the hell is going on?

Michele Bachmann. Tea-bagged.

Continuing my trend of showing all of you, my readers, the dumb things politicians say, I examine the top ten quotes of the Tea Party's own Mad Hatter (as if there were just one), Michele Bachmann.  Many of you know her as Minnesota's House Representative, but all of you know her as the bat-shit crazy, stick-up-her -ass conservative that is (potentially) running for....

... you guessed it: President in 2012!  So before you all start jumping for joy at the prospect of a woman other than Sarah Palin getting elected into the commander-in-chief seat, let's take a look at some Michele's little quips.  By the way ladies, can you stand someone up that isn't completely psychotic?  I would really love to have a woman in the white house, but I would prefer it to be someone that isn't out of their mind.

1.) This is her way of saying that the American culture (if one could call our mashed up society a "culture") is the best in the world without actually saying it.  A politician's work-around.  Guess what, Michele?  I can't count on my hands how many cultures in this world are more interesting, or more rich than ours because I don't have enough fingers.  If our culture is the epitome of them all, then humanity is in serious trouble.  Try leaving your limo and security once and awhile.  You'll see what I mean.

Republicans Sure Love Their Flip-Flops.

What does Dick Cheney, Barbara Bush, Cindy McCain, and 

Laura Bush all have in common? (Hint: NOT Breasts)

If you guessed "they now all believe in gay marriage", you're correct! 

I suppose having a Democrat in the office of the president, coupled with the fact that elections are next year, is enough to make any logically-thinking Republican do a complete 180 on views that they "have always had".  All of a sudden, these four are saying that "Obama isn't doing enough to support marriage equality".  I'm sorry, say that again former staunch opponents of gay marriage.  I couldn't quite hear you over the sheer amount of bullshit spewing from your mouth.

Gay Marriage. Don't like it? Don't get one.

If homosexuals are demons in disguise, then what does

that make a hate-filled, ignorant asshole such as yourself? 

I've had about enough of this stupid, drawn out argument.  There is no reason why homosexual men and women cannot get married.  None.  The definition of marriage means nothing, and neither does the out-of-context passage in your old book.  Just the same, there is no reason why gay couples shouldn't be allowed to adopt either.  Recent studies have proven that children raised by gay parents not only grow up to be exceptional human beings, they are generally more well-behaved.  Oh, what's that?  You'd rather a kid grow up in a shelter?  Or on the street?  Or in a home where the father abuses the mother on a nightly basis?  I see your point- at least he won't grow up to be gay.  By the way, child molesters, murderers, and hardcore drug dealers are allowed to get married and have kids.  You don't see anyone stopping them.  Are gay parents really that bad?  (Hint: The answer is No.)