Friday, February 25, 2011

Miscarriage Equals Prenatal Murder... If You Are A Dumbass.

Representative Bobby Franklin of Georgia.
His appearance is similar to an "all-grown-up", "never been dead", 
Casper... assuming Casper was a pasty-faced, misogynistic, asshole.

Because I don't want to hemorrhage my brain this morning, I'm going to try and make this post as brief and as to-the-point as I possibly can: Georgia State Republican House Representative Bobby Franklin is a fucker.

He is a stupid, ignorant, uneducated fucker.  He has no idea how the human body works, and has clearly never even had an intimate conversation with a woman.  I like to picture him as the guy that always plugs his ears or leaves the room during health class because "private parts are icky".  Why do I say this?

Representative Franklin is drafting a bill to be put forth in the state house (not the federal, mind you) that would criminalize miscarriages.  I'm sure that you're probably thinking, "Well, if abortions are illegal, then self-induced miscarriages probably are too."  Well, you'd be wrong.

Doctors have little to no idea what exactly causes miscarriages.  In fact, many women miscarry before they even know they are pregnant- we only know about the ones that occur between the middle and the end of a pregnancy.  Let me run you through an imaginary conversation between a doctor and would-be mother.

Doc: The blood is not a good sign.  There's really no easy way to say this but... you've lost the baby.  I'm deeply sorry.

Woman:  But how could this happen?  I was five months pregnant... we had a name picked out... and a crib...

Doc: I understand.  You've had this wonderful miracle growing inside of you for the past several months.  And in one fell swoop, it has been taking away.  As a man, I cannot possibly imagine the feeling of loss that you are suffering through right now.

Woman:  This is unbelievable... I... I think I need a moment.

Doc: Of course.  Just one thing before I leave you alone- there is an officer of the state police here to see you.  I know you've just lost a child, but he's here to make sure that you didn't do anything to harm it, and that it died of natural, unknown causes.

Woman: ... what?

Doc: You've got nothing to worry about.  Just make sure you can prove that you did nothing to your body in the last five months that would have harmed the fetus.

Woman: ...... what?  My baby just died, and you're telling me that I'm about to be investigated for prenatal murder?

Doc: Technically.  See, we in the medical community don't know the natural reason for a miscarriage, only the unnatural ones.  Falling down a set of stairs on purpose is an unnatural termination of pregnancy.  In other words, you're already charged with prenatal murder.  The state can't say that your miscarriage was natural because they don't know what causes such a thing.  But they can say that it was unnatural, as they know the causes of it.    

Woman: Dare I ask what the sentence for such a charge is, if I'm not able to procure enough evidence to show that I didn't miscarry on purpose?

Doc: Oh, it's simple really.  The Georgia State loves the "eye-for-an-eye" mantra.  If convicted, you're looking at a minimum of life in prison, and a maximum of the death penalty.  

Woman: That's ridiculous!  Will you help me?  You have to know that I didn't do anything to hurt my child!

Doc: Ahh, well, unfortunately I don't.  You're kind of on your own here... sorry?

Woman: But-

Doc: ..................................
Well, spoken, doctor!  (By the way, this picture is 
in a stunning 3D! Tell your friends!)

Are you seeing the picture that I'm painting for you, my friends?  Just to clarify, I'd like to quote from Jen Phillips of Mother Jones: 
          The bill, however, shows an astonishing lack of concern for women's health and well-being. Under Rep. Franklin's bill, HB 1, women who miscarry could become felons if they cannot prove that there was "no human involvement whatsoever in the causation" of their miscarriage. There is no clarification of what "human involvement" means, and this is hugely problematic as medical doctors do not know exactly what causes miscarriages. Miscarriages are estimated to terminate up to a quarter of all pregnancies and the Mayo Clinic says that "the actual number is probably much higher because many miscarriages occur so early in pregnancy that a woman doesn't even know she's pregnant. Most miscarriages occur because the fetus isn't developing normally."

Please note that there are three links in that block of text: HB 1, for the bill, "do not know exactly" for a medical article, and "the Mayo Clinic says" for... whatever the fuck the Mayo Clinic is.

Now, I'm definitely not the smartest guy in the world, but I can see when someone is being an asshole.  And you, Representative Franklin, have a giant sphincter for a mouth.  Your bill is unbelievably ignorant and foolish, and your willingness to advocate the death penalty on women who have just miscarried is disgusting.  I personally know women that have miscarried, and it is nothing short of devastating for them.  To then slap them with a felony like prenatal murder is so fucked up, I see red and come close to breaking my laptop in two when I think about it.  

I feel as if you Republicans are just done with trying to look good.  It's like you've all met up and said, "You know what?  Let's just be stupid assholes.  Even if America calls us on it, they'll reelect us again in two to four years when we 'promise' to fix things."  Or, as the Jason Linkins of the Huffington Post puts it:

          Are lawmakers from the "women are chattel" set having some sort of nation-wide competition to see who can get the most sick-minded anti-abortion law enacted? Sure seems that way! Last week, a public outcry forced South Dakota lawmakers to shelve a bill that opened the possibility that abortion providers would be endangered by people who believed that killing them was a justifiable homicide.   

It's okay, Republicans.  Keep trying to one up each other with your misogyny and your anti-union bullshit.  It'll come back to bite you in the ass eventually.  

By the way, I want to stop this ship before it sails: Attention Maine Governor, Paul LePage.  If you try to pull anything like this, I will drive down to the state capital myself and slap you right in your jowls.  You've already said that all BPA does in plastic bottles is seep a little estrogen into your liquid and give women "little beards".  Of course, like your Republican friends, you have no fucking clue how the human body works.  Estrogen wouldn't do much to women, you dumb ass.  You're thinking of testosterone.  Testosterone is what gives women beards.  Estrogen is what gives men tits.  So clearly you've been drinking out of water bottles with BPA in them.

Wooo!  Shake it, governor!  Titties or GTFO.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I thought the note to LePage was a great part. I especially enjoyed the final picture.