Sarah Palin. Again.

Now, now, Sarah.  If anyone is awesome, it's me.

I don't feel like I can ever leave this woman alone.  You probably want to know why.  Let me be honest- I am aware that by continuing to acknowledge her existence, I'm doing nothing but throwing water on a grease fire.  Sure, the water is just making the flame larger but goddamn it, doesn't it just make sense to try and douse it with good ol' fashion H2O?  The problem is, more and more people are saying to ignore her (or, to throw sand on her) and hope that she'll go away.  But... she won't.  She is a fire that simply cannot be snuffed.  

That's why I propose that we try the one option that no one has dared to speak of- deprive Sarah Palin of oxygen.  Ever put a cover on a candle?  The fire burns off all of the oxygen and then just puffs out of existence.  And yes, I will indeed keep going with this metaphor because I think it's fantastic.

Stressed Out Moms. Causing Awkward Public Situations Since Forever.

You try to ignore it, but somehow it's just impossible.

Picture the following scene:  You're in the grocery store, walking down the tasty treats aisle and thinking about picking up some Double Stuf Oreos.  You normally don't indulge, but they are on sale for $2 instead of the usual $4.  Seriously.  Who pays $4 for Oreos?  I mean sure, they're "double stuf" but the extra filling can't cost Nabisco that much, can it?  

Woah, off track there.  So you're looking the Oreos and wondering if the deliciousness is worth walking around with black cookie chunks between every single goddamn tooth in your mouth all day, when a shopping cart turns the corner about twenty feet from you.