WTF Is Wrong With Americans?

I found this lil' gem over at Daily Kos but clearly the image belongs to the Occupy Movement.  I'm not a fan of Silhouette Man - he's a little shady - but I like what he has to say.  I'd gladly pay higher taxes if it meant everyone in my country had the opportunity to better their education for free. 

Unfortunately, I don't think the whole "raising taxes to make college free" pitch would go well in today's Congress.  I mean, put yourself in the black leather Ferragamo shoes of a Senator.  Educating your own constituents (particularly those of you in the red parts of 'Merica) is a great way to get your dumb ass voted out of office.



'Merica.   

I Work Through My Sadness By Beating Conservatives With Logic.

As many of you know, I had a bit of a breakdown the other night after Scott Walker won his gubernatorial reelection in Wisconsin.  I threw a good ol' fashioned pity party complete with a gallon of chocolate ice cream, sad clown face paint, and six straight hours of crying like a baby.

I'm kidding, of course.  I got really pissed, wrote a blog post that maybe twelve people read, and then went to sleep.  But I bounced back from my anger (I almost deleted this blog) with the help of my good friend Ted over at Jobsanger, and with the realization of two things: that Walker's victory means nothing and that the American media needs to go away.  I'll have more on that stuff in another post.

Ten Logic Fallacies Used By Politicians (Part One).

Before I begin this particular post (and the one to follow), I want to thank E. Magill over at The Unapologetic Geek for compiling this list.  While the logical fallacy selections are his, the commentary is my own.

We're all aware of how most elected officials have their own way of speaking, much like lawyers do.  The best of them can turn an argument on its head or have you believing something that is completely fictitious.  Here are the first five of ten specific tactics to look out for the next time you hear any politician talk.

1.) The Straw Man Argument.

Santorum to Glenn Beck: Colleges Are Indoctrination Mills.

When Rick Santorum and Glenn Beck exchanged words last Thursday, I was surprised that the Earth didn't spin out of its orbit and into the Sun.  I was surprised that the planet's core did not implode; that the atmosphere didn't dissipate; that Jesus Himself didn't appear before us in his golden armor - flaming sword in hand - to usher in the rapture.  Why?

Because I was fairly certain that nature was supposed to abide by a strict set of laws, one of which being that two ignorant, pompous blow-hards like Glenn Beck and Rick Santorum could not share the same air space without the world - nay! - the universe ending.

Unfortunately, we're all still here.  Just you, me, and....this:

“I understand why Barack Obama wants to send every kid to college, because of their indoctrination mills.  The indoctrination that is going on at the university level is a harm to our country.” 


Yeah.  Feel that?  Disgustingly uncomfortable, huh?  Like... like "swamp ass."  Ugh. 

Why Public Schools Are Unnecessary.

For the first 150 years, most presidents home-schooled their children at the White House, he said. 

“Where did they come up that public education and bigger education bureaucracies was the rule in America? Parents educated their children, because it’s their responsibility to educate their children.”

“Yes the government can help,” Mr. Santorum added.  “But the idea that the federal government should be running schools, frankly much less that the state government should be running schools, is anachronistic. It goes back to the time of industrialization of America when people came off the farms where they did home-school or have the little neighborhood school, and into these big factories, so we built equal factories called public schools. And while those factories as we all know in Ohio and Pennsylvania have fundamentally changed, the factory school has not.” 

-For the full article from The New York Times, click here.

Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum is correct, of course.  The federal government should not be running our public schools (which is why they don't), and neither should the state governments.  So, if not the government, than who?  The teachers?  Hah! Those liberal pussies aren't fit to run a classroom, much less the whole building.  Let's break it down and look at the pros and cons of public schooling:

From A Biblical Perspective, It's Okay To Pay Teacher's Less Money.

How can someone be speaking in front of a Christmas Tree

looking as sour as this guy?  Did someone just remind him that

he's a state senator from Alabama?

 

This is Alabama State Senator Shadrack McGill (R) and no, I did not take that from a Dungeons and Dragons character sheet.  That is seriously his name.  And I have a bit of a kerfuffle with Slim Shady-rack here in regards to one of his recent stances towards Alabama teachers.  Admittedly I did not, up until now, know that Alabama had teachers, but that doesn't mean that I'm unwilling to stand up for them when the time comes.   

According to ThinkProgress, McGill voted against raising the annual salary of teachers not because they were undeserving, but because "It's a Biblical principle."  First of all, what an asshole.  Second of all, for all of the talk the Republican Conservatives drum up about following the Constitution, they sure don't know much about it.  What the fuck ever happened to the separation between church and state, guys?

Mob Boss LePage.

I've never tried to keep it a secret - I think Maine's Governor, Paul LePage, is a goddamn lunatic.  He is better suited to running a branch of the mob than he is to running a state.  And my hatred of him really has nothing to do the fact that he is a Republican either.  Hell, our last governor was a Democrat, and he didn't do anything (go figure).

But I digress.  LePage has been the face of Maine for more than a year now, and it seems like every time I see my state on the national news, it's because of something idiotic he has said.  Sometimes, I admit, I avoid writing about it simply because it can usually be summed up in my earlier (and quite popular) LePage post.  But if anything gets me, it's the subject of education, and LePage decided to hold it hostage recently over a budget quandary.

I found this lovely little snippet over at AddictingInfo:


Maine Governor Paul LePage has threatened to close down schools statewide unless he is allowed to throw 65,000 people off of MaineCare, Maine’s version of MedicAid.

“Right now, in order to continue the way we are, I will close schools May 1 and use that money, because that’s where we are,” LePage said in an appearance in Lewiston on Thursday evening. “It’s a matter of not having money. It’s not a matter of policy. It’s a matter of when you have one hundred dollars in your checkbook and you’re spending two hundred, you’ve got a problem.”

Yeah, sure, why cut the tax breaks you've given to corporations here in Maine when you can just as easily cut schools?  I mean, kids don't need to be educated these days.  And those jobs?  You know, the teachers and faculty that run the school?  They don't need those either.

Ironically, the school faculty would probably end up on MaineCare if their jobs were cut. 

Here's my favorite part of the article, though:

The state’s Democratic Party seems somewhat confused by this ultimatum as the Governor does not actually possess the legal authority to carry out his threat.

The Maine Constitution is very clear that the authority to fund public education lies with the Legislature, said Rep. Margaret Rotundo of Lewiston, the ranking Democrat on the Appropriations Committee.
“My understanding is that the Legislature would have to pass legislation not to fund the schools, and that’s not going to happen. It’s just not going to happen. So people don’t have to worry about the schools closing,” Rotundo said Friday.

This is very true.  Governor LePage doesn't have the power to just shut down schools.  If that were the case, most Republican-run states wouldn't have them.  Still, I find this to be quite telling of our governor.  Rather than cut the tax breaks he's given to Maine's corporations, LePage would cut the future's of Maine's children.

So yes, while education is safe from the mob boss (for now), rest assured that he will find something to cut - something that will affect the lower and middle classes far more than the upper.     






Both the quotes and the image above can be found at AddictingInfo.

Pennslyvanian Teachers Suffer From Lack Of Funding.

Great teachers definitely do inspire, and it's fitting that my 100th (!!!) post be about my future career.  The news I bring is both fantastic as well as awful.  Let's start from the ground and work our way up, shall we?

Pictured above is the Republican Governor of Pennsylvania, Tom Corbett.  Don't let his soft, blue eyes fool you - Tom Corbett is a motherfucker.  When faced with drawing up the state budget, Corbett had a bit of a dilemma on his hands when it came to funding education.  "As ThinkProgress’s Travis Waldron pointed out, Corbett could relieve school districts if he let special interest groups like tobacco and the oil and gas industry go without their tax breaks." 

Then he remembered his party's platform: Fuck Poor People.  So Corbett cut $900 million from the state's education funding.  "But Shaun," you're probably thinking, "Teachers are overpaid anyway!  $900 million is blahpoopfartblaggublaggu!"

If that were the case, then the Chester Upland School District would be able to pay their teachers.  As of Wednesday, January 11, 2012, the educators will not be receiving a salary.  This is, by the way, after laying off 40% of its professional staff. 

So the teachers begged the governor for more funding to education.  And so did the school boards.  And so did the unions.  But Corbett said, "Nay!"  Worse, even the State Secretary of Education turned them down, saying that they "had failed to properly manage [their] finances and would not get any additional funds."

Now a lot of children are minus an education because those greedy fucking teachers are - 

Oh, shit, I'm forgetting the amazing part!

From ThinkProgress.org:

The teachers decided to work for free. As one teacher put it, students “need to be educated, so we intend to be on the job"...

At a union meeting at Chester High School on Tuesday night, the employees passed a resolution saying they would stay on “as long as we are individually able.”
Columbus Elementary School math and literacy teacher Sara Ferguson, who has taught in Chester Upland for 21 years, said after the meeting, “It’s alarming. It’s disturbing. But we are adults; we will make a way. The students don’t have any contingency plan. They need to be educated, so we intend to be on the job.”

I cannot express how fantastic this is.  The teachers are unwilling to let students go without an education, despite the possibility that they won't be able to support themselves and pay their bills.  This makes Governor Corbett look... well, like a motherfucker.  I can only hope that, for the sake of the teachers in the Chester Upland School District, this pay freeze is temporary.

Personally, I think Governor Corbett should give up his salary.  He does far less than teachers do, and makes twice as much.  How's that for fair?   

That about wraps it up for my 100th post!  No need to thank me, please, hold your applause.  Stick around for my 150th, and maybe even my 200th.  My 7,000 view mark is also right around the corner... Because you, all of you, my readers, are fucking awesome.

The "License to Bully" Bill.

 A few months ago, I wrote a post about a Tennessee student who was attacked by his own principal for wearing a shirt that supported gay rights.  Now, when I think of gay-friendly states, Tennessee is not one of them.  Recent developments in the state's legislature have definitely proved this to be true.  Here's how:

On December 7th, 2011, 18-year-old Jacob Rogers (pictured above) took his life because of how bad the bullying was at his school.  He was, of course, bullied for being gay, and school officials (according to his friends) did absolutely nothing to stop it.  Suicide rates among gay teens - and even misunderstood teens in general - appear to be rising, and many states have passed anti-bullying legislation in order to give their schools more options in how to deal with such behavior.

Solving The Debt Crisis.

My question is, why does that skeleton have a mullet (a.k.a "the 

official haircut for idiots")?

Good news out of Washington tonight as the House passes a bill that will cut spending and raise the debt ceiling, while simultaneously leaving Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security alone.  Had the bill not been passed through the House tonight, and if it were to fail in the Senate, the U.S. will pass the debt ceiling limit tomorrow, bringing on the Apocalypse.  

That's right, the Apocalypse.  According to pretty much every economist, news anchor, politician, and pundit in America, our country defaulting would be what finally causes Satan to get his fat ass off the couch, break out the trident, and gather up his four horsemen to bring about the end of the world.  We are, in the hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution, the most important society that has ever or will ever exist.  Listen guys, I highly doubt that the United States defaulting would be of any concern to Satan.  He's far too busy giving the guys over at MTV new ideas for television shows.  

America's New Goal - Failing.

"Today's word is: Under-appreciated."

As frequent readers know, I have a bit of a bias towards educators in America.  How could I not?  For some strange reason, I'm studying to be a high school teacher myself (don't worry, parents, the stuff you find on this blog will be left at the door of my classroom).

Despite the ass-reaming Wisconsin teachers received at the hands of their state legislature, I have not changed majors.  Despite the continuing cuts to education at both the state and federal level, I have not changed majors.  No, no, don't praise me.  I'm no hero.  I'm clearly just a glutton for punishment.  Why do I, personally, stay in?  I'll quote one of the professors at my college - "You can either be on the front lines of the fight, or you can watch from the sidelines as teachers become more and more ostracized with each passing year."  

Did That Really Just Happen?

From left to right: Eric Cantor, John Boeh - wait, you know what?

Who gives a shit?  Let's just call them the guys that fucked us.

Around 8:15 P.M. eastern time last night, I watched as the House of Representatives passed the "Cut, Cap, and Balance Act."  Whoops, sorry!  Did I say House of Representatives?  I mean the Republicans in the House of Representatives.  In an almost pure-party line vote, the Republicans used their majority to pass their economic recovery "plan" which, if you look into it, is not so much as a recovery plan as it is a masterfully crafted shit-storm of blame.  It's almost as though the Republicans leaders consulted with Lord Voldemort, Darth Vader, Sauron, Lex Luthor, Satan, and (perhaps) Rupert Murdoch over the weekend and devised this brilliant piece of legislature.

Demonizing Educators.

"What are you, some kinda edumacated lady?"

This is the second post in a row about the ongoing assault on teachers.  Some of you are probably thinking that I am taking this personally because I am currently in school to be a teacher, and you are all right.  Of course I'm pissed.  I don't appreciate people saying that "it's not hard to be a teacher" or "teachers make too much money", particularly since neither statements are correct.  I've shadowed teachers as an educator-in-training, not as a student.  Trust me, it's different when you are seeing things from the other side.  Sitting in the English department's teacher lounge at a local high school, I can remember them talking about how the administration doesn't back them up on anything, and how some of them worked another job just to get by.  

But how can that be if they make too much money?  

As far as I'm concerned, this fight has gone beyond the union.  It's not about the union anymore.  Reading through some comments on the CNN article, you get choice phrases like: 

1.) If these folks were in manufacturing they would have already lost their job or taken a serious pay cut. Why are teachers so much loftier than manufacturers that they deserve steady pay and secure jobs?

- Teachers are not manufacturers, you're right.  But they do deserve steady pay and secure jobs because they are responsible for educating your children.  Oh, don't have children?  Too bad.  You're still paying taxes, which pays teachers.  Oh yeah, and teachers pay taxes too so... technically they are paying themselves.  The reason teachers are getting pissed is because their pay is already cut.  They really don't make much.  How could they possibly be motivated to teach well if they are making as much money as someone without a college degree?  Oh yeah, by the way, manufacturers don't have to watch your kids all day.

"Our Children Are Stupid! It's Their Teacher's Fault! Let's Cut Their Pay!"

"I'm attacking the leadership of the [teacher's] union because

they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."

-Republican Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie

Part of the reason I love Mr. Christie's quote is because it can be applied to almost anything BUT teachers.  Here's the deal- soon to be educator or not, I have no clue what goes on in the teacher's union. Having said that, I can't imagine it's as bad as the republicans are making it out to be.  Here are a few different ways we could apply the above quote:

1) "I'm attacking the [cast of Jersey Shore] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."

2) "I'm attacking the [multitudes of fat underneath my chin] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."

3) "I'm attacking the [self-righteous idiots of my own political party] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."

4) "I'm attacking the [owners of Krispie Kream, not because they cut me off for eating one-hundred donuts in a row, but] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."

5) "I'm attacking the [ladies in the front row with my libido-killing smile] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."
6) "I'm attacking the [babies of New Jersey] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."

Is there a point to the rewording of Mr. Christie's... words?  No.  It was just incredibly fun to do.  I should make a party game out of it...