The True Mission Of The Left-Wing (Exposed)!

Governor Phil Bryant of Mississippi (pictured above) knows a secret.  Despite my (and my fellow liberals) many attempts to stop him from revealing this secret to the public, he has gone ahead and blabbed anyway. 

I don't get it.  I tried everything that would appeal to a Republican.  I offered to pay him off.  I offered to quit college and vote GOP.  I offered to treat women like they were subservient to me for the rest of my life.  And when all that failed, I even told him that I would convert to Christianity and declare a new Crusade on all non-Christians.  Still no dice.
So I wasn't surprised when, last Tuesday, Bryant revealed this secret to all thirty people that listen to conservative radio host Tony Perkins' show.  On the topic of signing a bill that could potentially shut down Mississippi's only abortion clinic, Bryant said this:

"Even if you believe in abortion, the hypocrisy of the left that now tried to kill this bill, that says that I should have never signed it, the true hypocrisy is that their one mission in life is to abort children, is to kill children in the womb.  It doesn't really matter, they don't care if the mother's life is in jeopardy, that if something goes wrong that a doctor can't admit them to a local hospital, that he's not even board certified." 

Why, Bryant?  Why would you spill our closely guarded secret?  Of course our one mission in life is to abort children!  That's why all liberals moonlight as doctors at Planned Parenthood.  You see, with all of our many liberal agendas, protecting the environment through any means necessary is quite close to the top.  And what better way to protect Mother Nature than to cut out the root of the problem?  By aborting all the babies and thus destroying our species, the world can be right again.

 Our motto.  

Who cares if most of what Bryant said in the interview is unintelligible nonsense?  The fact is, our secret is out.  And now us left-wingers need to work twice as hard to keep our other secrets from being released to the normies.  So no more blabbing!

You know what us liberals do to people with loose lips...  We give you a fair trial with a jury of your peers (attorney included), and then lock you up for a few weeks with no chance of parole if you're found guilty.  Stings, doesn't it?

Now if you'll excuse me, my shift is coming up at Planned Parenthood.  I'll be sure to let all my fellow liberals know how many babies I abort.  Not to brag, but I've got a pretty good tally so far.