Saturday, December 25, 2010

How To Man Up And Use Your Turn Signal.

Well, that about sums up this post.

Holy Christ, people.  Is it possible for me to drive anywhere these days without being intercepted by at least ten individuals that have no idea what a goddamn turn signal is?  Or even how to use it?  It is literally one of the most important actions you perform while driving, next to staying awake and keeping both hands on the wheel.  And it's not even that hard!  All you do is flick the little lever up or down!  It even does half the work for you and returns to its equilibrium once the car is done turning.  

To illustrate how simple it is to initiate the turn signal, I've taken the liberty of "drawing" some instructions for people who lack the capability of understanding the concept... oh, shit... flaw in that plan.  How can I expect them to "work the computer machine and the interwebz" if they don't know how to signal?  Hmmm... 

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Difference Between "News" and "Shit Nobody Cares About".

No, this is not marijuana- it's salvia, and it is incredibly potent.  

I am beginning to wonder if the news networks we have here in America even know what "news" is.  I have seen too many stories like the one above make national headlines, causing every moron with an earpiece and a microphone to comment on it in one form or another.  

Miley Cyrus news should be left to Access Hollywood and other networks that nobody watches.  Why?  Because her actions have no impact on anybody but her and her Redneck family.  Honestly, do we even need to follow her life story?  We know how it's going to play out- all we need to do is look at the Lindsay Lohan timeline.   

Sunday, December 12, 2010

"I'll Be Back."

Why, yes, I did use the cliche Terminator line for the title of this post.  So here is where we stand:

This week in Maine, or specifically at my college, is Finals Week.  It is the end of the semester, the beginning of our holiday hiatus, and the end of my sophomore year (thanks to missing a semester for Basic Training).  Needless to say, I probably won't be updating this blog for about five or six days.  If I see something in the news that I find interesting, I'll make time to write a little summary about it.

Still, I think this is a good thing because, let's be honest, I've been writing a lot.  I can't possibly expect you, my readers, to keep up with me.  We all have lives, and while I set aside an hour or so to write, I can't imagine anybody setting aside time to read some bullshit on the interwebz.

So take the time, if you've come here itching for a sane break, to go back through the archives and laugh at my attempts to be reasonable (or better, leave me some comments- I will be checking in everyday, of course).

Oh, and before I forget, I want to give a shout out to my non-North American readers!  Some of you may just stumble across this one-in-a-billion web page, while the rest of you seem to be regulars.  Because of that, I thank those of you in:

-New Zealand
-South Africa
-The Philippines
-The U.K.
-Hong Kong
-The U.A.E.

So, until my next post (and until Finals are over), stay sane!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

So...Senate... Might I Humbly Inquire As To What The F**k Is Going On?

This might be giving incumbent Senate Republicans too much credit... to say
they made it past the first biped on that chart is insulting to the rest of us.

Yes, yes, there was no post yesterday.  I'm sure you were all heartbroken over my absence.  The reason nothing was put up was because I hesitated to write an update as to what the Legislative Branch is doing.  Why?  Well, it's roughly due to the fact that they are all fucking over the place.  One day it's Tax Cuts, the next day it's Don't Ask Don't Tell, and the next day you have someone filibustering for over eight hours.  Yes, I said eight hours.  Could you imagine listening to someone- sorry, something (as he is a politician)- talk for that long?  I'm sure they had people on the Senate floor just shoveling that bullshit into wheelbarrows by the third hour of his "speech".

I also didn't write anything yesterday because I was too enraged by what little news that crossed into our sane world absent of tangible federal government.  Also, please note, it is no longer a sane world thanks to aforementioned news.  Actually, it never really was.  Don't wrap yourself up in a false sense of sane security.  It won't work, trust me.  

Anyway, two major things happened since Thursday that I feel are important to talk about.  There were also a few minor things here and there that I will get to, time permitting.  The first thing is...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

How Languages Die...LoL!


Have you ever wondered how Latin died out as a language?  Me too!  Unfortunately, I would rather make up a reason in order to prove my point than tell you the real one!  You see, it is my belief that the Romans were so exhausted from killing Barbarians, non-Christians, Pagans, and each other, that they got really tired of speaking and writing in long, complete sentences.  Latin became known only to the people that needed to know it (priests and the like) and everyone else briefly forgot how to communicate until the Italian language came into existence.  

I see this happening now, and have seen it happening ever since AIM was cool back in the fourth grade. It bothered me then, and it bothers me to this day.  Maybe it's the English major in me, I don't know, but holy fuck, does anybody know how to use commas and apostrophes anymore?  Or capital letters?  

Before this goes any further, there are a few issues I would like to clarify:

1) I want it known that I am not targeting people that do this every now and then.  My issue is more with the concept of shortening words and eliminating basic grammar than it is with the people that do it.  
2) Yes, you've seen me use what is called (whether you know it or not 1337 speek, or "leet speak") in several of my posts, but notice that I only do it for a laugh.  In other words, there isn't a font for "moron" so I use this leet speak.
3) I realize that texting and Twitter makes long typing difficult.  I don't have any problem with the texting (if you have received one from me, I'm sure you noticed that I do my best to actually use grammar) because the cell phone companies have our balls in a vice-grip on that one.  And Twitter's purpose is to keep what you say short, although I would argue that if you have to use leet speak to avoid going over the 140 character limit, you're probably missing the point of Twitter.

Monday, December 6, 2010

To My Readers: Some Changes Are a'Comin'...

High Fives All Around!

Rather than posting my normal break from the insanity today, I decided to do something that I haven't done yet.  As I approach the 1,000 view-mark, I have received a lot of feedback as to how this blog is done and where it is headed in the future.  So, I want to quickly address some of the things that have come to my attention in the past couple weeks.

1) How serious do you want people to take you?  Is this supposed to be a funny blog or an informative one?
     -Excellent question.  I want people to take me serious enough that they are at least intrigued by what I have to say.  I encourage people not to take what I say at face value, even if they agree with me, and to instead go out and look up the information on their own.  While I definitely want this to be funny, I am trying not to be completely random about it.  For example, the post on wireless devices?  You probably won't see one like that again.  

2) Is all of your information accurate or do you exaggerate/make some up?
     -If I do either of those things, it isn't on purpose.  While I doubt my information is inaccurate, know that if it is, I haven't changed anything to suit my views and opinions.  A lot of the things I write about are just common sense issues that most humans, regardless of political view, should know.  

3)What is this blog about, really?
     -I have been toying with a niche for awhile now.  While it originally started with me being angry towards things that are outlandish (to me, anyway), I have found that some things don't really fit the theme of giving people a break from the insane culture we have found ourselves in.  Once I have exhausted my current slate of things that have already happened, I do intend to focus more on current events, politics, and religion.  Yes, religion.  I know it's a touchy subject, but someone needs to man up and talk about it.  

4) So movies, books, entertainment stuff...?
     -Will eventually fall by the wayside, unless I deem it important enough to talk about.  

5) Ideally, what do you hope to gain from this?
     -Discussion.  I want to promote discussion.  I have family in Oregon that read this blog almost everyday, and they have told me that it has become a frequent topic during dinner conversations.  That is what I want: to get people talking, and having discussions with each other.  

6) It seems like you are just angry with the things that you don't agree with...
     -Yes, I understand that.  And it's something I'm working on.  Bias is going to infiltrate anything that anybody writes or discusses, so I can't help that.  It's also hard to be funny when you are trying to look at both sides.  Instead, I want to focus on one side- mine- and hope that people with opposing views comment.  I promise not to bite.  I know my posts are filled with strong language, but I have no intention of calling anybody out for their views.  Personal attacks are not my thing.  If you want that, go talk to Maddox.  If you don't believe me on this promise, go check out the post on terrorists, and scroll down to the comments.  I got some negative feedback, and I replied quite nicely.

7) Anything to look forward to?
     -Absolutely.  Around Christmas, I plan on messing with some details and seeing what Blogger can really do.  I want to get a header in here and make it look professional.  I also really don't enjoy the term "blog", nor do I want people coming to this page thinking they are going to read my online diary.  If I thought you all cared about the daily activities of my cats, I would probably notice a decrease in my daily viewers.  I want to push to get my own domain name, and make it a pool of knowledge and humor rather than someone venting.  

Now that those are out of the way, here are some things to expect that I have garnered from the feedback:

1) 9 out of 10 posts will be about religion, politics, and current events.  
2) Posts that are silly or humorous will be titled "RAGE POST" so that people clicking on them will know not to expect any real information to be gained.  Some examples of good Rage Posts would be my posts on Wireless Devices, Michael Bay, and The 10 Movies I Hate (which, for some reason, is extremely popular).
3) Starting next week, I will be doing a Top Ten Tuesday.  Yes, it was Top Ten Friday, but Top Ten Tuesday sounds so much better, and I can abbreviate it to "Triple T"or "TTT".  This will almost always be more hilarious than informative, but we'll see what topics I come across when thinking of Top Ten ideas.
4) While I enjoy linking my sources right into the text of the post itself, a lot of people don't really notice it or care to click the link.  I don't want people thinking that I am just making shit up, so I will be putting a superscript number after each link.  At the bottom of the post, I will put the matching superscript number to the actual website link, along with a brief explanation of the site.  If I get it from a book, I will say so, but obviously there will be no link to post.

This is the final thing, but it is perhaps the most important, so I am going to write it big and change the text to a noticeable color.  Ready for it?

I cannot speak for people of opposing viewpoints.  I want and encourage everyone to comment on any read post.  I don't care if it's "This is great!" or "You suck lolz", just give me some feedback.  I promise not to make you feel like dirt if your comment is of the opposing view.  You will get an intelligent, non-offensive reply.  Also, please note that you can make your comment anonymous!  Even if you are related to me or are a really good friend, you can choose to be anonymous so that no one else on the web knows it's you!

I also encourage all readers to join the Facebook Fan Page.  This isn't to inflate my own ego, it is so that I can reach my readers and feel some kind of connection with you.  You won't get Facebook stalked (I really don't care about anybody else's profile but my own).  Search "A Sane Break" on Facebook, and just hit "Like".  It's simple, and cool, and all of your friends are doing it.  PEER PRESSURE.

Finally, I want to thank all of you that have been supportive of this blog so far.  You guys have been great!  Keep up the reading, keep up the good feedback, and start spreading the sanity!    

I totally mean this...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Republican Senators Don't Listen To Their Constituents.

Well, once you are finished proving your point, please blame the Democrats
for not doing their jobs.  As an American, I am stupid enough to believe you.

Yesterday, the United States Senate shot down an extension of the Bush Tax Cuts that would have cut taxes for families earning under $250,000.  Everyone above that limit would be taxed.  But Republicans wouldn't have it.  "Everyone must have the cuts," they said.  Yes, because the wealthy 1% of America can't afford to hand over a little bit more money.  I'm sorry, but if you can't live comfortably making more than $250k a year, you might be addicted to spending money.  Or really hard to please.  It's also worth mentioning that the House of Reps passed the bill earlier on.

So many things piss me off about this.  There is no reason why any family making more than $250k should be that upset about this.  To put this amount of money into perspective, as a future teacher, I'll be lucky if I make roughly $50k a year at the highlight of my career.  If I wanted to not have my taxes cut, I would need to teach at five different schools everyday of the week, getting paid at each one.  In other words, I'd be working 24/7, and I still wouldn't make enough money (school day= 6 hours, 5 schools X 6 hours at each= 30 hours a day which is literally not possible).  

Here's what made me even more upset.  In an effort to end the debate and show a bit of kindness, the Democrats said, "Okay.  Let's assume $250,000 a year per family isn't enough.  Maybe American parents have become rabbits and are popping out twelve kids per household.  Let's push a bill through that would cut taxes for any family that makes less that $1 million."  What did Republicans say?  "Tax cuts for all!  I make more than a million and I don't want to be taxed!  The lobbyists that pay me don't want to be taxed either!  Tax cuts for all!"

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Let's Dispel Some Myths About President Obama.

My, God... America has elected a black, unpatriotic, socialist, Muslim, non-native, 
elitist, college-educated, non-military, inexperienced terrorist to the office of the President!  

Yes, that's right.  Two years ago, my foolish generation of non-racist, educated, rational liberals came out and voted in such numbers that John McCain was reminded of how badly he had lost to Abe Lincoln.  Are you happy, you hooligans?  Now the goddamn war is ending, we're improving our standing in the world, and our economy is snapping back from what could have been the next Great Depression.  I hope you're proud of yourselves.  

At least, that's what I would say if I was a bitter-ass Republican/Conservative (Note: Not all Rep/Cons hate Obama- just the majority- and I'm talking about them).  I have received so much untrue chain letters and heard so much ignorant blather about President Obama, it makes me sick.  I am all for criticizing government when it steps out of bounds- and I did it quite a bit between 2000 and 2008- but at least make sure you have your facts straight.  I'm going to dispel these stupid rumors right now.  Although there is one fact checking site I highly recommend for pretty much everything, and I believe it's called "".  Once again, everything I am about to say is plain common sense.  It would take roughly five minutes on a google search to prove these allegations wrong. 

Friday, December 3, 2010

Ten Reasons Why Walmart Is Crippling Society.

Oh, Walmart. You've had this coming for so long.  I do believe
that I'm going to enjoy this.

Last Friday (if I remember correctly), I threw up a post about the ten movies I hate the most in this world.  It was, apparently, very popular so I've decided to do a "Ten ____" every Friday from now on.  In an effort to keep this blog more about social issues and less about what I'm interested in personally, I thought that Walmart would be a great place to start.  And by "a great place to start", I mean that I'm going to make you never want to shop there again.  

Of course, most of the reasons why I believe that Walmart is destroying our society can be found in the documentary entitled Walmart: The High Cost of Low Prices.  And yes, you can find the whole 98 minute film on google videos, or you can instant Netflix it.  A word of warning about the documentary:  I can guarantee it will make you furious- so furious that you will contemplate murdering the next person you see.  

While I have never worked at Walmart, I have known several people that have/are, including my own father.  So between the documentary and some personal witnesses, I think I have enough experience on the subject to get ten convincing reasons out there as to why Walmart is a fat, ugly tumor on the rectum of society.  Like the movie list, these are in no particular order.  

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Spheidi Prontag Is A Disease On Society.

I don't know what makes me hate this picture more- the fact that Spencer is wearing
a "Palin for VP" shirt, or that Heidi is holding a book she clearly cannot read.  I also like
how Spencer looks as though he can smell Heidi's implants melting under the hot sun.

I debated whether or not to waste my breath on these two, and already I am regretting my decision to write this post.  Still, someone has to knock these two down a peg, and everyone seems content to just let these morons have their ten minutes of fame.  Well I'm not.  Hear me, reader?  I don't think that either of these two should have had even a fraction of a second in the spotlight.  The mere fact that they think they are important in any way pisses me off.  

"But Shaun, you're doing nothing except keeping their 'fame' alive by talking about them." No.  News programs that give these two time to promote their books/shows are the ones keeping them socially relevant.  I, however, have nothing good to say about them.  They are rude, vain, and unappreciative of everything that has been laid down at their feet since birth.  Do either of them know what it's like to scrape money together so that they can afford to college?  Probably not- they are rich and most likely turned off by the idea of learning.  Do they know what it's like to have to go weeks on leftover food because they can't afford to buy new groceries?  Again, probably not.  On more than one occasion, I have survived by making my own pizza dough, covering it with garlic butter and cheese, and pretending it was delicious.  I say "pretend" because, in actuality, I could feel it shaving off minutes of my life with every bite I took.  

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

"I Can't Concentrate, Like... I Totally have ADHD..."

Sometimes common sense is better than eight years of medical school.

This ADHD and ADD shit is getting out of control.  Rarely do I meet a person who doesn't inform me that they have one of the two, and I can usually tell it's a self-diagnosis.  How?  Because neither disorder turns itself on and off at will.  You either always have a hard time paying attention, or you don't.  Sure, everyone gets distracted, but most people can learn to tune those things out over time (depending on the annoyance).