Fascism And The GOP (Part One).

I was perusing the internet today (something I haven't had time to do in a long while) and I stumbled upon this handy little guide that defined Fascism in fourteen simple characteristics.  So instead of writing something about killing tools (guns) or general ignorance, I decided to draw up a comparison of what a Fascist state is like and what the modern Republican party is like.

Now before I go on, I want to get one thing clear: this is a liberal comedy/information blog written by an independent.  So while I could compare this same list to the Democrats (who do line up with a few of the numbers, but not the majority of them like the GOP does), I won't.  Do that yourself, you lazy fuck.

Another note: I am fully aware that this has probably been done before as the internet is a very large place.  Hell, I found one that compared the fourteen points to President Obama, albeit in a not-very-serious manner.

Here's the quick foreword from the website I got these from: "Dr. Lawrence Britt has examined the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia) and several Latin American regimes. Britt found 14 defining characteristics common to each."

Expanded Birth Control Access Equal To Tragedies Of 9/11 And Pearl Harbor.

This is a story that should piss off everyone, no matter what side of the political spectrum you fall on.  In a speech on the House floor last Wednesday (8/1/12), Representative Mike Kelly (R-PA) had this to say about the expansion of birth control access for women:

“I know in your mind you can think of the times America was attacked.  One is December 7 — that is Pearl Harbor Day. Another was September 11 — that was the day of the terrorist attack.  I want you to remember August 1, 2012 — the attack on our religious freedom. That is a date that will live in infamy, along with those other dates.”

August 1st was the day that marked the beginning of implementation for the Affordable Care Act's birth control mandate.  It was also, apparently, the day that 5,379* Americans died in the on-going War For Religious Freedom.

Why did the news not cover this horrifying tragedy?  Because Kelly is full of shit.  I want to be very clear on something, here.  A United States Representative in the Legislative Branch compared women getting birth control to the tragedy of 9/11, and the horrific assault on Pearl Harbor. 

Instead of backing down on his comments, Kelly said that the birth control mandate is “an undeniable and unprecedented attack on Americans’ First Amendment rights.”

Actually, sir, telling women that they can't receive birth control due to the religious feelings of others is the real attack on our First Amendment rights.  If you don't want it, don't take it.  And what does Mike Kelly have to worry about, anyway?  Is someone force feeding him the birth control pill?

Shut the fuck up, Kelly.  You are insulting our intelligence and you're insulting the victims of those tragedies (and their families) by making such a shitty comparison.  Nobody wants to hear it. 

I liked you better when I was unaware of your existence. 


*Total death count for 9/11 and Pearl Harbor combined.

Rush Limbaugh: Founder Of The "He-Man Woman Haters" Club.

"I am a gray-haired, cigar smoking, talking rectum."

Allow me to start this post by getting the obvious facts out of the way:

1.) Rush Limbaugh, pictured above, is an asshole.
2.) Rush Limbaugh, picture above, is not a man that dwells reality. 
3.) Rush Limbaugh, pictured above, was recently named the least liked news personality by a whopping 46% of those surveyed.  I have an issue with this, but only because calling him a "news personality" insinuates that he actually tells people factual, unbiased news-worthy information.  He does not (see #1-2 above).

Okay, now that that's done, there really isn't much more to say.  If you have a brain, you're aware of how subhuman Rush Limbaugh is, as listening to him is toxic.  He is full of hatred.  And I'm not going to make this about political parties or ideologies because it really isn't about that.  It's about how disgustingly racist, sexist, and ignorant this idiot is. 

The War Against Women.

Women.  They've been a thorn in our testicles ever since the One True God created them out of our manly ribs.  They get us kicked out of paradise by eating that fucking apple, and then they have the ovaries to complain when God curses them with menstruation and painful childbirth.  Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, ladies.

~6,000 years later on the other side of the Earth, women start to argue that they have rights too - that they are, in fact, human beings, and not just our childbearing, child-raising, maids/nannies.  While the idea itself is, to this day, laughable at best, they somehow managed to convince those damned bleeding heart liberal jag-offs in Washington to let them vote in 1920.  

Okay, okay.  Being allowed to vote probably isn't that big of a deal.  It's not like we'll ever have a president with a vagina, right?  But then they start running for Congress, and here's where things get messy.  Why?  Because women have no right to dictate how us men run our lives, our country, and our money.  It's as simple as that.