Ann Coulter's Attempt to Mock First Lady Obama and Hashtag Activism Backfires

"Give me all of your babies, for they 

fuel my unbridled hatred."

Ann Coulter is a right-wing political commentator and activist that can best be described as the female version of one Rush Limbaugh. Just about every word that hisses its way past her forked tongue and sharp fangs are loaded with hate and tipped with spite (and yes, if words had flavors, hers would taste distinctly of bullshit).

She is one of the champions of ignorance over at Fox News, and she is evil personified. To give you a brief glimpse of what I mean, here's a little quote from Coulter from an interview she did with the New York Observer back in 2007:

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women.

"It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that is has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it's the party of women and 'We'll pay for health care and tuition and day care - and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?'"

Apple Manufactures Phone Specifically For The Right-Wing.

I usually don't advertise for products on here, but I saw this one and couldn't help myself.  Apple calls it the Dumbphone, and it uses state of the art technology to filter out information based in reality and/or fact.  It also gives you first class access to applications not available to liberal smartphone users.

Go crazy with Glenn Beck TV!  Listen to the hollow, empty words of Rush "Blow Hard" Limbaugh!  Or get up to the minute false information on all current news stories with the Fox News app!  The Dumbphone contains so much ignorant power, you won't believe that it's all at your fingertips.

You see, Apple designed the Dumbphone with you -the right-wing user - in mind.  Why be exposed to the world of reality with a real phone when you can stay in your bubble, ever-connected to a conservative consciousness that is consistently reinforcing the fantasy in which you live?  Why think for yourself when you can have the Dumbphone do it for you? 

Check out these amazing new features, copied straight from the website:

*Call Screening: The Dumbphone will not accept calls, nor will it make calls, to anyone with an IQ of 75 or more, ensuring that those pesky liberal elite family members of yours will never call to pester you with the latest accomplishments of "Dear Leader Obama." 

*Gipr: Siri has been replaced for this model.  Introducing Gipr, the new Reagan-inspired Dumbphone assistant, capable of deciphering even the most incoherent of primitive command noises that come out of your mouth hole.

*Insult Generator: Did you leave your underground bunker and run into a liberal?  Is that liberal trying to argue with you by throwing well-informed facts in your face?  The Dumbphone has the answer!  With over one million randomly generated insults, the Dumbphone always has you prepared with a barrage of personal attacks that are guaranteed to stop any argument dead in its tracks, leaving you feeling satisfied with an unearned victory. 

*Concealed Weapon: The Dumbphone comes locked and loaded with six deadly 5.56 hollow point rounds cleverly disguised in a chamber behind the phone's camera.  Those government agents may think that you're just taking a picture of them stealing your guns and dragging your wife out into the street, but really you're getting ready to commit murder!  Just point and fire! *Flash not included.

*Edited History: The Dumbphone immediately censors any historical internet article, conforming it to right-wing philosophies.  Read the Right (pun intended!) version of the Constitution!  Learn how fast Jesus Christ could load a musket!  And read about how God Himself created the white race, Republicanism, and America all in His own righteous image. 

*Gaydar: Stay away from homosexuals forever with Gaydar, a motion tracker tuned to the genetic frequencies of those in the LGBT community.  Gaydar can also be tuned to hippies, liberals, drug-addicts, welfare recipients, vegans, foreigners, the U.N., atheists, Muslims, feminists, non-whites, non-Christians, San Francisco, elites, President Obama or (for all you ultra right-wingers out there) all of the above.

*Conservative's Guide to Sex: An entire one page article on sex, from how it works to the two positions you can have it in (missionary or abstinence). 

*Fuel Inefficient: The Dumbphone does not run on a liberal good-for-the-environment power source like a battery.  Whenever you want to recharge your phone, simply take it to the nearest gas station and fill it with diesel fuel.  It's recommended that you bring a spare tank with you, as the Dumbphone can only hold enough fuel to charge it for fifteen minutes.

*Bush Era Memory Wipe: The first time you sync the phone up with yourself, the Dumbphone selectively wipes your memory of President Bush's eight years in office, effectively freeing up your mind to attack the current state of the federal government without worrying about being a hypocrite.  You can also choose to erase any and all knowledge of what a hypocrite is (recommended).

*Easy to Fix: The Dumbphone is built piece by piece by non-union child factory workers in Taiwan, and Apple is passing those savings on to you!  If the Dumbphone breaks, all you have to do is take it apart, find the malfunctioning culprit, and replace it at 200% of the original cost of the piece.  Wow!

*Automatic Donations: 70% of your monthly bill is divided up equally and donated to Republican political races, Republican organizations such as the NRA, non-charity entities, and talking heads like Limbaugh, Beck, Hannity, and more.

*EBook Reader: It doesn't come with one.

*Music: The Dumbphone comes preloaded with 30gb (of its total 32gb) of country, christian, and military music that can't be deleted.  Never feel unpatriotic again!

*Doubles as a Flag Pin: The back of the Dumbphone is graced with the American flag, while the front has two attachable, razor sharp hooks that pierce breast flesh with ease.  Never appear on television, radio, or in photos without it.

The Dumbphone, coming to you exclusively from Apple.  Just remember the motto: If ignorance is bliss, you'll be in Heaven with the Dumbphone.

To order your Dumbphone, check out Apple's website here.  This is a miracle piece of technology that all right-wingers should enjoy.  

Ten Logic Fallacies Used By Politicians (Part Two).

Before I finish this list off, I again want to thank E. Magill over at The Unapologetic Geek for compiling this list.  While the logical fallacy selections are his, the commentary is my own.

We're all aware of how most elected officials have their own way of speaking, much like lawyers do.  The best of them can turn an argument on its head or have you believing something that is completely fictitious.  Here are the five remaining tactics to look out for the next time you hear any politician talk.

And yes, I saved the cool Latin ones for last.

1.) Ignoratio Elenchi.

The #ToMyUnbornChild Twitter Trend.

I've said it in multiple posts and I'll say it again: there is nothing wrong with being gay.  As my loyal readers know, I am pro gay marriage and pro gay rights.  Sexual orientation is like skin color - unimportant when it comes to the law.  If a law is passed, is should either apply to all humans or no humans.  That seems like basic common sense to me.

Every single day, I am on the brink of either having hope for our species or wishing we would all do planet Earth a favor and suddenly die out.  I would have thought that, as we creep ever so cautiously towards the future, the hope inside of me would begin to outweigh the utter despair.  2012 is proving that little hypothesis of mine to be wrong.

Political Spitfire - Two Week Round Up.

So I've been absent for a little while, as I'm sure my regular readers have noticed.  My fan page and special blog email have flooded with questions like, "Where are you?" and "Where the hell are you?" (Not really).  Well, I've been sick.  With the flu. 

And what a horrible time to be sick it was.  I missed so much and, because of that, you missed so much.  Because I'm your only source for news.  Right?

...Right?

Anyway, rather than make empty promises about how I'm going to catch up on all that stuff, I'm just going to quickly recap the things I would've written about had I not been sleeping away my illness.  Buckle your seat belts, people.

1.) Rush Limbaugh

Not 48 hours after my last post in which I criticized him for his remarks towards Danica Patrick, Rush Limbaugh dug himself a deeper grave when he called Sandra Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute."  The day after that, he insisted that if women want the taxpayer's to pay for their contraception, then we (I assume he means himself there and not the taxpayers as a whole) "should get something out of it."  That something being internet videos of said women having sex.  As numerous groups, sites, and individuals have pointed out, Rush Limbaugh has absolutely no idea what he is talking about at any level.  I won't get into that myself, but I urge you to cross reference what he said with actual facts.  The results will surprise you.  Also, Limbaugh has since lost more than one hundred sponsors from his show.  I sincerely hope that this marks the end of Limbaugh's hold on shitty talk radio as well.

2.) James Inhofe

An actual living, breathing senator of the United States of America declared that global warming is a hoax, so sayeth the Lord.  "Well actually the Genesis 8:22 that I use in there is that 'as long as the earth remains there will be springtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night.' My point is, God’s still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous."  You know what's outrageous, senator?  The fact that you represent this country.  You're basically saying that science, as well as basic ideas like "cause and effect," are nonsense.  Seriously.  Who voted these fucking idiots in?

3.) Missouri House of Representatives Advances Anti-Discrimination Bill

...For gun owners.  Oh, good.  Because when I woke up this morning, I was thinking that people with guns have been discriminated against for far too long.

4.) Andrew Breitbart

To me, his death was irrelevant.  That's not to say that I feel sorry for his family's loss, as well as for a death that came far too soon.  But apparently Breitbart had in his possession video taped evidence that would connect President Obama to *insert scary group here*.  When he died, several right-wing groups immediately suspected foul play and accused the Obama Administration of having Breitbart killed.  Despite the fact that Breitbart's own family shared the cause of his death without too much hesitation.  Oh, and the video taped evidence that Breitbart assured us would bring down the Obama Administration?  It was released, despite his death.  It was of Obama hugging the first black tenured professor at Harvard.  Scary stuff.  As ThinkProgress reports, PBS's Frontline program aired the same "damning" footage days before the 2008 election.  Whoops.

5.) Sarah Palin

My favorite Alaskan girl.  We go way back, her and I.  She was one of the first posts I ever wrote on this blog.  I put forth the hypothesis that she is really Predator from the alien action movies.  I think it was to prove a point.  I'm not really sure.  What I am sure of is that Palin accused President Obama of wanting to "go back to before [the days of the Civil War] when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin."  First of all, we are in different classes based on income.  Two, really.  Poor and wealthy.  The middle class is pretty much gone at this point.  Second of all (and more importantly), if President Obama wanted to return us to the days where classes were based on the color of our skin, wouldn't that be a bit of a step back for him?  How does this rhetoric even make sense?  For the love of all that is right in this world, please shut the fuck up.

6.) Mitt Romney

He's still trying to get everyone to like him, and he's still showing that he can't relate to anybody but his wealthy friends.  I'd be more excited talking to a saltine and a gallon of off-white paint than I would be voting for Romney.  I'm sure it would be a stimulating conversation.  If he wins the delegates, Republicans will back him, but not enthusiastically.  It's obvious to a lot of people that Obama will be in the White House for four more years.

7.) Wisconsin GOP

After the wave of anti-governor sentiment washed through the capital, the state GOP made sure to let their constituents know that they were listening - by boarding up all the doors and windows.  The GOP in the state assembly voted to amend the state constitution in order to make it harder for officials to be booted out of their office.  This really pisses me off.  Instead of listening to what the voters were saying (i.e. "You aren't doing your fucking job and we don't want you making laws for us anymore"), the politicians in the capital changed the rules to keep their jobs and to continue doing their dirty business.  Hey.  Guess what?  You're there because people voted you in.  If they want you out, one way or another, you're coming out.

8.) Rick Santorum

Someone dug up an interview back from 1994 in which Santorum claimed that, "Moms raising children in single-parent households simply [breed] more criminals." He also, according to ThinkProgress, introduced legislation during his second term as congressman that would have denied welfare benefits to mothers who could not name their child's father.  Asshole.

Rush Limbaugh: Founder Of The "He-Man Woman Haters" Club.

"I am a gray-haired, cigar smoking, talking rectum."

Allow me to start this post by getting the obvious facts out of the way:

1.) Rush Limbaugh, pictured above, is an asshole.
2.) Rush Limbaugh, picture above, is not a man that dwells reality. 
3.) Rush Limbaugh, pictured above, was recently named the least liked news personality by a whopping 46% of those surveyed.  I have an issue with this, but only because calling him a "news personality" insinuates that he actually tells people factual, unbiased news-worthy information.  He does not (see #1-2 above).

Okay, now that that's done, there really isn't much more to say.  If you have a brain, you're aware of how subhuman Rush Limbaugh is, as listening to him is toxic.  He is full of hatred.  And I'm not going to make this about political parties or ideologies because it really isn't about that.  It's about how disgustingly racist, sexist, and ignorant this idiot is. 

Roger Ailes And His Propaganda Machine.

There is an art to persuading people these days.  In a time when technology is advancing with each passing hour, only one man has been able to reach into millions of homes and turn fiction into fact with the same ease as he freezes water into ice: Roger Ailes.

While most know him as the creator and "Chairman" of Fox News, Ailes has a disturbing history of right-wing extremism and paranoia.  He was always drawn to television, even as a little boy, and rose quickly to the rank of executive producer on The Mike Douglas Show by the age of 25.  His big break came in 1967 when he met former Vice-President Richard Nixon backstage of the show, telling Nixon that "the camera doesn't like you."  Nixon responded, "It's a shame a man has to use gimmicks like television to get elected."  Ailes was passionate about TV, and shot back, "Television is not a gimmick.  And if you think it is, you'll lose again."  It was at that moment that Roger Ailes became Nixon's executive producer of television, in charge of recreating the man's image in order to appeal to voters.

During Nixon's campaign, Ailes began to blur the line between journalism and politics.  Ailes knew that Nixon was a disaster on television.  He also believed that the media was anti-Republican.  So, he decided to go for the throat, as it were, and circumvent the press - go straight to the people.  By forcing reporters to watch the events of, say, a "town hall meeting" backstage, Ailes had found a way to subtly reduce the freedom of the press to a mere privilege.  Nixon was able to answer to voters with staged questions instead of on-the-fly "gotcha" questions from the media.