Friday, February 25, 2011

Miscarriage Equals Prenatal Murder... If You Are A Dumbass.

Representative Bobby Franklin of Georgia.
His appearance is similar to an "all-grown-up", "never been dead", 
Casper... assuming Casper was a pasty-faced, misogynistic, asshole.

Because I don't want to hemorrhage my brain this morning, I'm going to try and make this post as brief and as to-the-point as I possibly can: Georgia State Republican House Representative Bobby Franklin is a fucker.

He is a stupid, ignorant, uneducated fucker.  He has no idea how the human body works, and has clearly never even had an intimate conversation with a woman.  I like to picture him as the guy that always plugs his ears or leaves the room during health class because "private parts are icky".  Why do I say this?

Representative Franklin is drafting a bill to be put forth in the state house (not the federal, mind you) that would criminalize miscarriages.  I'm sure that you're probably thinking, "Well, if abortions are illegal, then self-induced miscarriages probably are too."  Well, you'd be wrong.

Doctors have little to no idea what exactly causes miscarriages.  In fact, many women miscarry before they even know they are pregnant- we only know about the ones that occur between the middle and the end of a pregnancy.  Let me run you through an imaginary conversation between a doctor and would-be mother.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Demonizing Educators.

"What are you, some kinda edumacated lady?"

This is the second post in a row about the ongoing assault on teachers.  Some of you are probably thinking that I am taking this personally because I am currently in school to be a teacher, and you are all right.  Of course I'm pissed.  I don't appreciate people saying that "it's not hard to be a teacher" or "teachers make too much money", particularly since neither statements are correct.  I've shadowed teachers as an educator-in-training, not as a student.  Trust me, it's different when you are seeing things from the other side.  Sitting in the English department's teacher lounge at a local high school, I can remember them talking about how the administration doesn't back them up on anything, and how some of them worked another job just to get by.  

But how can that be if they make too much money?  

As far as I'm concerned, this fight has gone beyond the union.  It's not about the union anymore.  Reading through some comments on the CNN article, you get choice phrases like: 

1.) If these folks were in manufacturing they would have already lost their job or taken a serious pay cut. Why are teachers so much loftier than manufacturers that they deserve steady pay and secure jobs?

- Teachers are not manufacturers, you're right.  But they do deserve steady pay and secure jobs because they are responsible for educating your children.  Oh, don't have children?  Too bad.  You're still paying taxes, which pays teachers.  Oh yeah, and teachers pay taxes too so... technically they are paying themselves.  The reason teachers are getting pissed is because their pay is already cut.  They really don't make much.  How could they possibly be motivated to teach well if they are making as much money as someone without a college degree?  Oh yeah, by the way, manufacturers don't have to watch your kids all day.

Friday, February 18, 2011

"Our Children Are Stupid! It's Their Teacher's Fault! Let's Cut Their Pay!"

"I'm attacking the leadership of the [teacher's] union because
they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."
-Republican Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie

Part of the reason I love Mr. Christie's quote is because it can be applied to almost anything BUT teachers.  Here's the deal- soon to be educator or not, I have no clue what goes on in the teacher's union. Having said that, I can't imagine it's as bad as the republicans are making it out to be.  Here are a few different ways we could apply the above quote:

1) "I'm attacking the [cast of Jersey Shore] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."
2) "I'm attacking the [multitudes of fat underneath my chin] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."
3) "I'm attacking the [self-righteous idiots of my own political party] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."
4) "I'm attacking the [owners of Krispie Kream, not because they cut me off for eating one-hundred donuts in a row, but] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."
5) "I'm attacking the [ladies in the front row with my libido-killing smile] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."
6) "I'm attacking the [babies of New Jersey] because they're greedy, they're selfish and they're self-interested."

Is there a point to the rewording of Mr. Christie's... words?  No.  It was just incredibly fun to do.  I should make a party game out of it...

Friday, February 11, 2011

How Well Does Craigslist And A Politician Mix?

Answer: About as well as a grown man taking muscle shots of himself 
in the mirror.  Check out those guns, though.  He must spend a lot of time
at the gym when he isn't voting to demolish women's rights.

Every now and then, something happens in the political world that warms the cockles of my heart.  Angels sing sweet melodies directly into my face.  I'm instantly transported to a beautiful glade where I dance and play with the native plethora of fantastical creatures.  This is one of those stories, folks.  And as I'm sure you've guessed by now, it made my week.  

Christopher Lee, a Republican congressman from the great state of New York, resigned from the House of Representatives yesterday because of the above picture and the email that went with it.  No, he wasn't applying to model for Shake Weight.  He was lookin' for ladies.  It's something a lot of people do, oddly enough, and I couldn't honestly care less about it... if it weren't for the fact that he was a Congressman and a "model American"with golden ethics.  Setting aside the fact that few (if any) Senators and Representatives are model anything, the absolute best part about this is that he is married.

What is going on, conservative republicans?  Why are you preaching family values if you can't even keep it in your pants for the few years you're in office?  It seems like every time I turn around, one of you are getting caught doing the exact opposite of what you believe in.  How many times have we heard the whole "anti-gay" schtick, only to catch one of you getting a little bromance on the side, hm?

Saturday, February 5, 2011

"You Play Video Games? So Are You Fat, Ugly, Or Slutty?"

Some people are just... just awesome.

Now, I normally don't do this, but thanks to a friend's message last night, I discovered a new and quickly blossoming site known as  The site is devoted to the lewd and just pure awful messages that guys send women over Xbox Live (and they are indeed accepting submissions for PC, the Wii, and the PS3 as well!).  While the majority of these messages are disgusting, the ladies over at FUoS have decided to take the high road and laugh them off.  

In that context, the pictures are hilarious... assuming you can get over the fact that a guy actually wrote something like that and then decided to send it to a female gamer.  I for one applaud these ladies.  While a lot of people (myself included) would get extremely pissed if someone sent such crass messages, these women are merely laughing it off.  Oh, and they are also posting your gamertag onto the internetz so... some of you might want to watch what you say.

...Or don't!  Give them more material!  Their site has quickly exploded to an estimated 400,000 views a month; a fantastic accomplishment for a new website.  

So head over to FUoS and see how awesome it really is.  And remember: girls are pretty good at games too.  Just because you have a penis does not make you Lord of All Things Virtual.  Sometimes it just makes you a dick.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Republicans Sure Love Their Flip-Flops.

What does Dick Cheney, Barbara Bush, Cindy McCain, and 
Laura Bush all have in common? (Hint: NOT Breasts)

If you guessed "they now all believe in gay marriage", you're correct! 

I suppose having a Democrat in the office of the president, coupled with the fact that elections are next year, is enough to make any logically-thinking Republican do a complete 180 on views that they "have always had".  All of a sudden, these four are saying that "Obama isn't doing enough to support marriage equality".  I'm sorry, say that again former staunch opponents of gay marriage.  I couldn't quite hear you over the sheer amount of bullshit spewing from your mouth.