Facts: A Beginner's Guide For Conservatives.

*Warning!*  If you are not familiar with grade school level science, the English language, or reality in general, you may have trouble comprehending this article. Of course, as it is meant for my conservative readers (a.k.a. the people that accidentally stumbled here because reading things you don't agree with is almost fundamentally out of your wheelhouse), I'll try to keep my words small, the sentences brief, and the pictures plentiful.

Here's a fun game:

One of the following sentences is a fact and the other one is not. Can you tell which one is which?

A.) Getting punched in the dick hurts.
B.) President Obama wants to take away everyone's guns.

Trending Topic #Liberaltips2avoidrape Completely Misses The Mark.

Image found at Mother Jones*

 

In the last 24 hours, a new hashtag has started to trend on Twitter known as "#Liberaltips2avoidrape."  When I first heard about it, I was greatly offended not just for women, but really for the entire human race.  I still am, in fact, especially since I spent a good two hours pouring through these awful tweets.

The trend started as a way to mock Democratic State Representative Joe Salazar of Colorado, who had introduced a bill making it illegal to carry weapons onto college campuses even if the holder has a conceal and carry permit.  Opponents to the bill say that passing such a law would make it more difficult for students to protect themselves against mass shooters and rapists (apparently ignoring the fact that no mass shooting in the last 30 years has been stopped by an armed civilian, and that "in 2010, nearly 6 times more women were shot by husbands, boyfriends, and ex-partners than murdered by male strangers" (Mother Jones)).

Here's more from Mother Jones:

Salazar came down on the side of those who believe that more loaded guns on college campuses is a terrible idea. (This isn't such a radical opinion if you look at the data.) He delivered the following rebuttal on the state House floor:

It's why we have call boxes, it's why we have safe zones, that's why we have the whistles. Because you just don't know who you're gonna be shooting at. And you don't know if you feel like you're gonna be raped, or if you feel like someone's been following you around, or if you feel like you're in trouble and when you may actually not be, that you pop out that gun and you pop... pop a round at somebody.

There's footage of the speech here.

It's pretty clear what Salazar was trying to say: Frightened college kids carrying handguns might result in unintended casualties. You could argue that it was clumsily phrased, but there isn't anything nefarious. The statement was so blah that the Colorado House Republican minority didn't bother to issue a press release about Salazar's statement. At least not until after conservative bloggers, seeking to brand somebody the Democratic Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin, commenced their social-media freak-out during the long President's Day weekend.

Salazar was labeled the new poster boy for the "real war on women," and painted as someone who denies women the right to protect themselves against sexual assault. He was portrayed as an out-of-touch, gun-stealing lefty who promoted blowing a whistle over actually fighting off an attack. Many also latched onto Salazar's "you don't know if you feel like you're gonna be raped," upgraded the meaning to something around the lines of, "women can't ever tell when they're about to get raped/getting raped," and voilà! New Todd Akin.


Oh, now I get it!  The trend is supposed to be funny!  Okay.  I mean, really, check out some of these hilarious gems just annihilating Salazar and his crazy liberalness!

 Divadoll123 is right!  It isn't about gun control at all.  It was only started in response to a Democratic representative arguing to keep campuses safer by arguing for gun control.  Wait, what?  Gun control was exactly why this topic was started, you mouth-breather. 

This isn't about empowering women to protect themselves at all.  It's about stopping people from harming innocents.  Please explain why mace or a taser won't work.  Why do you need a gun?  Do you need to have something that will take someone's life away?
 

 It's funny because of how much he missed the point!  Raising your son to respect women is teaching someone not to rape.  Instead of telling women that they shouldn't wear certain clothes because it makes them seem more "rape-able," why don't we focus more on creating a culture where men don't treat women as objects? 

You see, what Bill "Hyperbole" Zeiser is trying to do is make it seem like liberals want to take women's guns away and just "teach men not to rape" which, judging by his sarcasm, he doesn't think will work (probably because he's oversimplifying things).  If he could have typed a little more, I guarantee his next sentence would have been obvious: "Liberals are trying to increase the odds of rape for a woman." 

Ahahahahaha!  Too funny, Beer_Wolf!  Gang rape is incredibly funny!

Now, now, let's not be silly.  He can't be every where at once, now can He?    

Hahaha, way to stick it to Salazar!  Oh, wait... you're not.  In fact, a pretty high percentage aren't.

Better to be a kind, caring individual then a closeted psychopath that's one finger twitch away from being a murderer.

See, here are the problems with this trend:

1) It's suppose to be poking fun at liberals for our beliefs, yet really all it's doing is insulting rape victims by attacking beliefs that conservatives think liberals have.

2) It was started as a way to call attention to Salazar's comments, but his comments were taken out of context.  Many people using this hashtag are wondering why liberals and women's rights groups aren't just as upset with Salazar as we were with Akin.  Perhaps it's because what Akin said was stupid, misogynistic, and went against all of biology and common sense combined, whereas what Salazar said was just kind of bumbled.  Yes, it could have been phrased better, but all he was saying is that it's easy to discharge a loaded weapon in a panic and hurt someone innocent.  Akin said that legitimate rape does not result in pregnancies, inferring that if you were raped and became pregnant, then you must have been consenting to it and it was never rape after all.  That's sick. 

3)

This one comes up a lot too, and I think it has to do with that Letterman thing awhile back.  I don't know of many people that actually thought what Letterman said was funny (or, really, that he's a funny person at all).  He apologized for what he said, but the fact remains: rape isn't a joke.

This trending hashtag is disgusting and vile, and everyone who contributes to it has no idea why it was started, or what Salazar's original comment was in its entirety.  The only thing it is good for is determining who on Twitter is a complete fucking idiot. 

So here, read this article - the same one cited above - and educate yourself.  Or go here, to the Twitter Search Feed, and subject yourself to tweet upon unsavory tweet until your mouth tastes of ash and you hate humanity.  

Author's Note: I was originally going to approach this post sarcastically and praise the conservatives for such a fantastic argument (see what I did there?), but I couldn't.  It hurt my soul to try.  Rape isn't funny.  Period.  If you think that Salazar's comments are even in the same ballpark as Akin's, then you have obviously missed the point of the Akin outrage.  Grow up, educate yourself, and then join the rest of the world as we progress into the rest of the 21st century.    

*As far as this very top image goes, I am floored.  The creator of this image, a conservative tweeter, attached this to his hashtag, apparently arguing that a good way to not get raped is to be old, bitter, and ugly.  I'm glad he censored the "ass," though.  Otherwise this image would have been very insulting.

Apple Manufactures Phone Specifically For The Right-Wing.

I usually don't advertise for products on here, but I saw this one and couldn't help myself.  Apple calls it the Dumbphone, and it uses state of the art technology to filter out information based in reality and/or fact.  It also gives you first class access to applications not available to liberal smartphone users.

Go crazy with Glenn Beck TV!  Listen to the hollow, empty words of Rush "Blow Hard" Limbaugh!  Or get up to the minute false information on all current news stories with the Fox News app!  The Dumbphone contains so much ignorant power, you won't believe that it's all at your fingertips.

You see, Apple designed the Dumbphone with you -the right-wing user - in mind.  Why be exposed to the world of reality with a real phone when you can stay in your bubble, ever-connected to a conservative consciousness that is consistently reinforcing the fantasy in which you live?  Why think for yourself when you can have the Dumbphone do it for you? 

Check out these amazing new features, copied straight from the website:

*Call Screening: The Dumbphone will not accept calls, nor will it make calls, to anyone with an IQ of 75 or more, ensuring that those pesky liberal elite family members of yours will never call to pester you with the latest accomplishments of "Dear Leader Obama." 

*Gipr: Siri has been replaced for this model.  Introducing Gipr, the new Reagan-inspired Dumbphone assistant, capable of deciphering even the most incoherent of primitive command noises that come out of your mouth hole.

*Insult Generator: Did you leave your underground bunker and run into a liberal?  Is that liberal trying to argue with you by throwing well-informed facts in your face?  The Dumbphone has the answer!  With over one million randomly generated insults, the Dumbphone always has you prepared with a barrage of personal attacks that are guaranteed to stop any argument dead in its tracks, leaving you feeling satisfied with an unearned victory. 

*Concealed Weapon: The Dumbphone comes locked and loaded with six deadly 5.56 hollow point rounds cleverly disguised in a chamber behind the phone's camera.  Those government agents may think that you're just taking a picture of them stealing your guns and dragging your wife out into the street, but really you're getting ready to commit murder!  Just point and fire! *Flash not included.

*Edited History: The Dumbphone immediately censors any historical internet article, conforming it to right-wing philosophies.  Read the Right (pun intended!) version of the Constitution!  Learn how fast Jesus Christ could load a musket!  And read about how God Himself created the white race, Republicanism, and America all in His own righteous image. 

*Gaydar: Stay away from homosexuals forever with Gaydar, a motion tracker tuned to the genetic frequencies of those in the LGBT community.  Gaydar can also be tuned to hippies, liberals, drug-addicts, welfare recipients, vegans, foreigners, the U.N., atheists, Muslims, feminists, non-whites, non-Christians, San Francisco, elites, President Obama or (for all you ultra right-wingers out there) all of the above.

*Conservative's Guide to Sex: An entire one page article on sex, from how it works to the two positions you can have it in (missionary or abstinence). 

*Fuel Inefficient: The Dumbphone does not run on a liberal good-for-the-environment power source like a battery.  Whenever you want to recharge your phone, simply take it to the nearest gas station and fill it with diesel fuel.  It's recommended that you bring a spare tank with you, as the Dumbphone can only hold enough fuel to charge it for fifteen minutes.

*Bush Era Memory Wipe: The first time you sync the phone up with yourself, the Dumbphone selectively wipes your memory of President Bush's eight years in office, effectively freeing up your mind to attack the current state of the federal government without worrying about being a hypocrite.  You can also choose to erase any and all knowledge of what a hypocrite is (recommended).

*Easy to Fix: The Dumbphone is built piece by piece by non-union child factory workers in Taiwan, and Apple is passing those savings on to you!  If the Dumbphone breaks, all you have to do is take it apart, find the malfunctioning culprit, and replace it at 200% of the original cost of the piece.  Wow!

*Automatic Donations: 70% of your monthly bill is divided up equally and donated to Republican political races, Republican organizations such as the NRA, non-charity entities, and talking heads like Limbaugh, Beck, Hannity, and more.

*EBook Reader: It doesn't come with one.

*Music: The Dumbphone comes preloaded with 30gb (of its total 32gb) of country, christian, and military music that can't be deleted.  Never feel unpatriotic again!

*Doubles as a Flag Pin: The back of the Dumbphone is graced with the American flag, while the front has two attachable, razor sharp hooks that pierce breast flesh with ease.  Never appear on television, radio, or in photos without it.

The Dumbphone, coming to you exclusively from Apple.  Just remember the motto: If ignorance is bliss, you'll be in Heaven with the Dumbphone.

To order your Dumbphone, check out Apple's website here.  This is a miracle piece of technology that all right-wingers should enjoy.  

Christianity and Gun Rights Are Not Compatible.

Posted below, for your enjoyment, is an article written by Andrew Sullivan over at The Daily Beast.  I enjoyed the article so much, that I wanted to share it with you, my readers.  It reinforces my question from an earlier post: why do modern day republicans think that Christianity is compatible with their political beliefs when it clearly isn't?

I, personally, do not believe in the Christian God, nor do I think that Jesus Christ was His son.  However, I find his teachings to be absolutely wonderful.  Whether he was real or not is irrelevant.  He was a fantastic human being.

The article below can be found at its original posting site here.  All credit goes to Mr. Sullivan - he wrote this beautifully worded article, not me. 

I just read a post on National Review arguing that Christianity is in part about armed self-defense and the Second Amendment. I kid you not. Christianity is now apparently compatible with the gun lobby. For some reason, this particular statement from Jesus - one of the most famous in all of human history - doesn't appear in the post:

You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth". But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

The great drama of the Passion requires absolute nonviolence in the face of even immense injustice. Not only did Jesus not resist the violence done to him, he refused even to offer a word of self-defense in front of Pilate. When Peter used a sword to cut off the ear of one who had come to arrest Jesus in Gethsemane, Jesus' response is unequivocal:

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people... Jesus said [to Judas], “Do what you came for, friend.” Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.

He then heals the wound created in self-defense. The whole point of Christianity, on a personal level, is a refusal to use violence even in self-defense and even when one's own life is threatened. For centuries, this radical nonviolence was celebrated by the church in its canonization of martyrs who chose to be mauled alive by animals than submit to the civil order's paganism. Martyrdom was the first and ultimate form of nonviolent resistance to injustice and, like the Christian-rooted civil rights movement or Gandhi's campaign for independence, it was precisely this staggering refusal to defend oneself, the insistence on being completely disarmed, that changed global consciousness. It was what made Christians different. It's what made Martin Luther King Jr different. To use Jesus as an advocate of armed self-defense is almost comical if it were not so despicable.

I can see much more worldly arguments for physical self-defense, course; it is at the core of the modern Hobbesian and Lockean model for Western civilization. In a fallen world, there is also a case for just war (but one that Aquinas had to come up with, for Jesus was uninterested). Machiavelli went even further - but there is a reason he is associated with evil, and remains one of Christianity's greatest intellectual foes. And I can see David French's point about defending one's family. But here's another news alert to the allegedly Christian right: so far as we can tell from the Gospels, Jesus disowned his family in public in his teens and abandoned them on his ministry, telling his disciples to abandon theirs - and their entire source of income - as well. Jesus, we are told, said the following words - outrageous today, unimaginably heretical in its time:

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.

This man is now a symbol for "pro-family" and "pro-gun" Republicanism. And yet he had no property to defend, no wife to protect, no children to keep safe, no house to live in. He never carried a weapon and rebuked his friends when they used one against a mob armed with clubs and swords about to arrest and torture him to death. He was homeless, completely dependent on the good will, shelter and food of others. He was, as today's Republicans would say, a "taker". But of course, it is in giving that you receive in Christianity. Jesus inverted the entire maker-taker paradigm. So no, congressman Ryan, you cannot be a disciple of Ayn Rand and Jesus of Nazareth. In any way whatsoever.

In my view, Jesus should not be dragged into any of our current policy debates. The issue of gun control in this country at this time is complex and worth debating in civil and secular terms. I think we can make things a little safer, but given the ubiquity of guns and the Constitution of the US, I wouldn't expect much that doesn't end up making things even worse. Bishops who pontificate on this in political contexts are equally violating Jesus' apolitical spirit.

But when Jesus's example is used to defend violence, to celebrate self-defense, to find ways to look away from the mass murder of children, beware. Jesus' response to unspeakable violence was unconditional surrender and yet more still:

Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

It's Official! President Obama To Seek Third Term As POTUS.

Readers, you all know by now that I worship President Obama.  I have an entire room in my apartment dedicated to his existence, complete with hair follicles, pictures, and a piece of gum he spit out on his last trip to Maine.  It's obvious, I think, by now that he has never done anything wrong in his life, nor will he ever, and will go down in history as the greatest president to ever hold the office of Commander-in-Chief, future presidents included.  He is the reason I get up every morning (I have to recite the Obama Loyalty Oath during the rise of the sun), and the reason I go to bed every night (he frequently visits me in my dreams for a little homo-erotic subconscious sinning).

I, like all leftist, atheist, liberal socialists, was afraid last year.  I was afraid that our Dear Leader would only have four years to accomplish the take-over of this country.  Luckily for us, Romney was soundly defeated thanks to our tampering with the vote count in Florida, Virginia, and Ohio, bringing about four more years of radical change.

The innocent Republicans are scared and on the run, but all they have to do is hang on until 2016.  Will that be enough time for us to finish our mission, my brothers and sisters?  No, it won't.  Thankfully, President Obama's loyal and devout followers have realized this.  Representative Jose Serrano of New York has begun taking the necessary steps to repeal the 22nd Amendment with HJ Resolution 15.

Does HJ Resolution have any chance of passing?  No... in fact, it has zero chance of making it out of committee.  It always has.

Oh, did I say "always"?  Well, President Obama actually began taking the steps to secure his third term back during the Bush Administration in the year 2001.  Clever, huh?  Unfortunately, Serrano's resolution won't be the president's solution to his third term.  In fact, changing amendments won't do it at all.

According to page 45 of the Ninth Essentials Edition of "We The People" by Ginsberg, Lowi, Weir, Tolbert, and Spitzer:

"The Constitution established procedures for its own revision in Article V.  Its provisions are so difficult that the document has been successfully amended only 17 times since 1791, when the first 10 amendments were adopted.  Thousands of other amendments have been proposed in Congress, but fewer than 40 of them have even come close to fulfilling the Constitution's requirement of a two-thirds vote in Congress, and only a fraction have gotten anywhere near adoption by three-fourths of the states."

Shit.  Only 17 times, huh?  Looks like Representative Serrano missed the mark, here.  So what, then, is our Dear Leader going to do to get reelected in 2016?  Simple!

The recent spike in gun violence in this country has given our side an advantage.  We can now use the threat of future violence to lure centrists to our side and get the numbers we need to do what must be done to finish our radical liberal take-over of America:

Take their guns.

Without their guns, the right-wing will be completely defenseless, allowing President Obama to move U.S. troops into every state to usurp the rights of conservatives and Republicans alike.  It'll be quick, almost overnight.  We can't give them any warning.  It's why Obama has yet to take a single right away from anyone since he took office in January of 2009.  They can't see it coming, and they can't be able to defend themselves.  A strong right-wing defense just means more left-wing casualties.

Soon we'll be able to stop pretending that we're the ideology of peace and rational thought, of equality and love.  Soon we can cast aside that mantle and show our true colors!

Of course, Obama will need millions of loyal agents willing to go into the homes of their fellow Americans to actually take these guns.  We'd need to get law enforcement involved and ready to go along with the plan, too.  Courts would also need to look the other way... logistics might be an issue... and conservatives would probably defend themselves from the seizure...

You know what?  Let's not think about the crazy details just yet.  We've got four years to work the kinks out.  And a third term?  Totally doable.






























Anyone who believes that President Obama is running for a third term is a fucking idiot.  And to think that his supporters are "sheep" enough to go along with something so ridiculous is ignorant and disrespectful.  He's a good president, sure, but goddamn, he has no intention of running for a third term in any way, shape, or form.  Why the hell would he?

For more on why this story is a conspiracy theory and nothing more, check out this Addicting Info article.

Or this quote from David Adler, director of the Andrus Center for Public Policy at Boise State University:

“There is nothing in his tenure as president, nothing that we know of him, that indicates that Barack Obama is going to seek a third term. Short of a military coup, the 22nd Amendment stands as an insurmountable obstacle to a third-term president today, and there is no evidence to suggest Obama or his supporters are planning on staging a coup. It’s a right-wing fantasy cooked up to try to frighten Americans.”

Fascism And The GOP (Part One).

I was perusing the internet today (something I haven't had time to do in a long while) and I stumbled upon this handy little guide that defined Fascism in fourteen simple characteristics.  So instead of writing something about killing tools (guns) or general ignorance, I decided to draw up a comparison of what a Fascist state is like and what the modern Republican party is like.

Now before I go on, I want to get one thing clear: this is a liberal comedy/information blog written by an independent.  So while I could compare this same list to the Democrats (who do line up with a few of the numbers, but not the majority of them like the GOP does), I won't.  Do that yourself, you lazy fuck.

Another note: I am fully aware that this has probably been done before as the internet is a very large place.  Hell, I found one that compared the fourteen points to President Obama, albeit in a not-very-serious manner.

Here's the quick foreword from the website I got these from: "Dr. Lawrence Britt has examined the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia) and several Latin American regimes. Britt found 14 defining characteristics common to each."

Hypocrisy In Action: Christianity and the GOP

This isn't going to be a long, drawn out post.  I'm waiting for my "American Romanticists" class to start, and figured now would be a good time to argue with people.  Actually, any time is a good time for an argument.  That's probably why my arms are always tingling.  Go, adrenaline!

I have a question, though, for my non-left leaning readers: how do you reconcile your beliefs in the Christian God/Jesus Christ with your right-wing political slant?  Obviously, this question only applies to people who are both Christian and right-leaning.

Why do I ask?  Because you're all hypocrites, plain and simple.  I don't meant to start this dialogue with name-calling, but it's kind of a fact.  That's what you are.  Christianity and the beliefs of the modern day Republican party clash worse than an orange shirt would with green jeans.

So... why?  You can't be both.  Pick one.  Consider me to be the arrogant, pompous individual in charge of all things moral and just in the world.  Write in the comments section (no "anonymous" comments will be posted, cowards) with your opinion.  If your comment does nothing but insult me, it will not be posted, as it will have no positive effect on this dialogue.* 

Tell me why you are a Christian and a Right-Winger.  Explain to me your beliefs.  Tell me how you interpret the New Testament.  I want to know.  Convince me.

I'm looking forward to this discussion, if it even occurs.     






*I'm not saying not to insult me.  Go ahead.  Try to make me cry for all I care (and you probably will, if your comment is stupid enough - er, well... tears of joy, anyway).  All I ask is that contribute in a meaningful way. 

Working People Vote Republican? Sure.

I saw this ignorant piece of shit bumper sticker on the back of what I can only assume was an ignorant piece of shit person's truck (where else?) earlier this afternoon.  Had he looked into his rear view mirror, the driver would have seen me flailing about behind my steering wheel, flipping him the bird and screaming not-so-pleasant language at my windshield.

That's the point of his bumper sticker, after all.  It's not to proclaim something he's proud of  (else it would just say, "I vote Republican") - it is to purely insult people who don't lean to the right or vote Republican.

Essentially, this man has stated that the work I do doesn't count as work, as I am a lazy, good for nothing, liberal.  His work, however, is true American work.  Never mind the fact that I am going to college for a degree in human rights law, no.  He contributes more to society because he votes Republican, and Republicans contribute more to society because fuck you, that's why.

I don't buy this.  While my current job requires me to work part-time in a grocery store deli, I still believe that the work I do is actual work.  I get paid for it, and I pay a higher percentage of taxes than most high-income Republicans do.  I guess, by that logic, I'm contributing more to society than most Republicans. 

Most of the people in this country do, in fact, work.  Only a very small percentage are unemployed by choice.  So if all working people voted Republican, methinks that the elections last year would have gone a lot differently.  We should change this bumper sticker, huh?

Let's see... what would be more appropriate?

Well, I know that, on average, people that lean politically to the left have a higher IQ than those that lead to the right.  So it could say, "Dumb People Vote Republican."

IQ is also directly tied to religious affiliation.  Those without religion are generally more intelligent than those who follow one.  So it could say, "Religious zealots vote Republican."

And I guess if we're taking a small percentage of the population (those that don't work) and applying that to a larger whole (liberals), then it's only fair that I get to do it too.  For example, not all Republicans are racist, but most racists are Republicans.  I could say, "White supremacists vote Republican."

One last one.  Most people that watch Fox News lean to the right.  Fox News is known for its right-wing bias (so much so that it's not only common knowledge, but a huge joke as well), as well as its ability to dumb down information, twist it, and basically lie. 

From Daily Kos: "The allegation that Fox News exploits their audience's tendency to voraciously consume absurdly spun tales driven by fear has been documented by researchers at the University College London Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience (and yes, that's real). Conservatives regularly demonstrate their proclivity for barking at the outrageous falsehoods proffered by Fox and other conservative fabulists. Among the university's findings were that the brains of conservatives are more likely to have an enlarged amygdala which is associated with greater inflexibility, emotion, and fear response."

So another bumper sticker could read, "People with enlarged amygdala vote Republican."

The bumper stickers I came up with were just as insulting - if not more so - than the first one pictured above.  "But Shaun," you might say, "You're a liberal.  Aren't you supposed to stand for peace?" Of course.  I'll be posting something about this later, but there comes a point when you just have to tell people to shut the fuck up and stop being so goddamn ignorant, liberal or not.

I'm gonna wrap this up by changing gears.  Were I the man driving this truck, I'd be ripping that sticker off out of plain embarrassment.  Under our current GOP governor, Paul LePage (who was elected with only 39% of the vote), Maine has become the least attractive state in the union for business with a dying economy.

So congratulations, Republicans.  It's hard to do work in a state where there is none.  Who are you going to vote for now? 

Who am I kidding?  You're going to keep voting Republican, even if Democrats are better with money.





For IQ stats cited above, click here. 

If you're a Republican that takes issue with this article, click here.    

Karl Rove Gets Warned By Anonymous: Rig The Election And See What Happens.

I saw this today and knew that I just had to write about it.  On October 22nd, the legendary internet group "Anonymous" put out a video claiming that the Republicans, specifically Karl Rove and his cronies, are going to try to rig the 2012 election.  Watch it below:

 Here's the transcript (typed out by me) just in case the video doesn't work (or ceases to):

"Karl Rove.  American Crossroads.  We are Anonymous.  We are watching you.  We know that you will attempt to rig the election of Mitt Romney to your favor.  We will watch as your merry band of conspirators try to achieve this overthrow of the United States government.  

"We see that you have taken steps to ensure that this election race is a close race, so you can step in and rig the numbers to elect your candidate, and then claim because it was a tight race, that your candidate was able to narrowly squeak ahead and win.  

"We want you to know that we are watching you, waiting for you to make the mistake of thinking you can rig this election to your favor.  We want you to know that if we catch you, we will turn over all of this data to the appropriate officials in the hopes that you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  We are watching and monitoring all of your servers.  We are watching traffic on each of them for anything suspicious.  You will not get away with any fraud without consequences.  

"We are Anonymous.  We are Legion.  We do not forgive.  We do not forget.  Expect us."

Here's a little bit of information about Anonymous for those of you that aren't familiar, courtesy of Nathaniel Downes, a fellow writer at Addicting Info:

Anonymous members, well-known for their dismantling of pedophile rings, botnets and other illegal activities, operate as electronic vigilantes. They can and do break into systems and whisk away key evidence which has put criminals behind bars. And now, the antics of the GOP party bosses, such as Karl Rove and his American Crossroads organization, are in their sights.

Something people do not grasp about Anonymous is that it is not an organization in the traditional sense. In fact, it is not organized at all. Instead it is a case of applied anarchy, a conglomerate of similarly focused ideologies which cooperate when they have conforming interest. By the time a video like this appears, there is already a large pool of people with a common interest with their focus aligned.

There is no head, there are no leaders, there is no organization to dismantle. You cannot reason with them, bribe them, manipulate them, or threaten them. They are legion, their numbers incalculable. 

Many people are even part of Anonymous without ever realizing it, helping out a friend at the office with a tricky piece of code or an online friend who wants to know how to plug a hole in their firewall. This non-existence makes it impossible to address in a traditional manner.

They are, quite literally, anonymous.

Let me shoot some of your thoughts down right now.  If you're thinking that Anonymous can't possibly know that Karl Rove plans to rig the election, you're wrong.  It is possible that they are lying, yes. But it's also very likely that they have this information.

If you're thinking that there is no way to rig the elections then, again, you are wrong.  Very wrong.  Read this article about how retired NSA analyst Michael Duniho discovered actual proof of GOP election rigging thanks to what can be called an "electronic fingerprint."

And if you are thinking that GOP is going to get away with this, well, you're wrong there too.  Here's what you can do.  Spread awareness of this rigging, either by sharing this article (or finding others like it) on Facebook and Twitter (again, I make no money from this site so there's nothing in it for me).

You can also share the Anonymous video.

Aside from raising awareness, you can beat the GOP rigging machine by getting out to vote six days from now, on November 6th.  This is extremely important.  Do not let the Republican Party take our right to vote - our right to be heard! - away.  We have a voice, and we cannot let it be silenced.

Soledad O'Brien Wrecks T-Paw With Facts.

Soledad O'Brien sporting her famous "stop trying to bullshit me" look.

 Following John Sununu's disastrous appearance on CNN against Soledad O'Brien on Tuesday, Mitt Romney sent his national campaign co-chair Tim Pawlenty down to the hot seat to set some facts straight about the "cuts" from Medicare.

Yeah, he, uhh... he didn't do that.  At all.

Boehner Blames President Obama For The Drought.

Is there Socialist Sorcery afoot?  Does President Obama control the weather?  House Majority Speaker John Boehner seems to think so.  According to Talking Points Memo, a website posting and email press release from Boehner's office on Monday says that the president, "continues to blame anyone and everyone for the drought but himself."

It is a well-known fact that President Obama is the anti-Christ, but controlling America's weather?  This explains a lot, folks.  Climate change and global warming aren't real, they're just the result of devil-worshiping witchcraft.  Boehner could be on to something here.  Are the end times coming?  Is Obama warming the world in order to prepare for the minions of Hell?  

Uhm... no.  He just wrote a terribly constructed sentence that made President Obama sound like a wizard.  As soon as TPM reported the original story, Boehner and his team realized their mistake and went back to edit the website posting, found here.  Now the sentence reads, "the president continues to blame anyone and everyone for failing to respond to the drought but himself." 

Need some clarification?  I did too.  Apparently the president attacked Romney's new VP pick over a bill that he voted against in the House that would have provided relief to the suffering farmers of America.  Hence Boehner's issue.  It's important to note here that the quote is directly from Boehner, but the website and email press release came from his spokesperson, Kevin Smith.

Regardless, it's still a pretty hilarious story.  I wouldn't have been surprised if Team Boehner hadn't have gone back to change the wording.  Republicans are ready and willing to blame the president for anything, weather conditions included.  That reminds me, it's raining here in Maine, and I was going to go to the beach tonight.

Goddamn you, Obama!  

Self-Congratulations Are In Order.

So it seems as though I should be patting myself on the back right now for raking in almost 3,000 views yesterday, as well as a handful of followers.  Of course, I am constantly patting myself on the back for everything I do because I'm awesome as fuck.  I'll just pick up the tempo a bit to compensate.

Ugh, I'm sorry.  Where are my manners?  Welcome, welcome, one and all to one of the only remaining sane places left in America - my little site.  As you may have garnered from reading the 150+ posts previous to this one, I love to thoroughly trash ignorance.  It's one of my favorite pastimes (next to hopscotch and skipping rope).  This particular love of mine often latches on to the absurdities coming out of today's Republican Party - the circus of science-denying freaks and fiction worshippers of America's right-wing.

But fair is fair, and I'll call bullshit on my own "side" if I have to.  This is rare, as some of you may understand.  We all live in our own social media bubble, letting in only things that agree with us and telling the things we don't to kindly fuck off.

I'm a college student (almost fully indoctrinated), so don't expect a plethora of posts at a time.  One thing you gotta love about coming here, though?  No ads.  That's right.  I am running clean, baby!  Running clean and full of energy (thanks to Redbull, my energy drink of choice; Redbull: It gives you wings).  You'll never see a popup or popdown while you're here, nor will any flashing animations distract you from hearing my liberal word-vomit.  That I promise you.  If you want that experience though, I do write for Addicting Info.  It's probably how most of you found me.

Anyway, that's all for now.  I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself to all the new folk.  My name's Shaun, by the way.  What's yours?











...I don't care.




*Note: I was not paid by Redbull, nor did I request payment for the advertising.  It was a joke.  Really.  Why the hell are you still reading this?  I explained everything that you needed to hear.  Go away...  Go buy Redbull!

    

GOP Chair Jim Roddey Calls Obama Supporters "Mentally Retarded."

Pictured above is Pennsylvania’s Allegheny County GOP Chair, Jim Roddey.  It should come as no surprise to you that he is old or white, nor should you be shocked when I tell you that at an election party last night, he called Obama supporters "mentally retarded."  Old, white and ignorant: the base of the Republican Party.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports that Roddey was telling a joke in front of about 200 people, saying:

"There was a disappointment tonight. I was very embarrassed. I was in this parking lot and there was a man looking for a space to park, and I found a space for him. And I felt badly -- he looked like he was sort of in distress. And I said, 'Sir, here's a place.' And he said, 'That's a handicapped space.' I said, 'Oh I'm so sorry, I saw that Obama sticker and I thought you were mentally retarded."

And, in case you were wondering, yes, the crowd did indeed applaud and laugh at the joke.

I'm pissed at Roddey for a number of reasons, the biggest being that he just made light of the mentally handicapped.  I do, of course, have an Obama sticker on my car, so I'll just get this out of the way right now:

Fuck you, asshole.

Also, Right-Wing blogs and news outlets will now be talking about how us liberals are overreacting to a joke, and how Roddey meant nothing by it.  This is garbage, and I'll come back to it in a second.  He did apologize today, according to a separate article on the same news site:

In email today, Mr. Roddey called his remarks "regrettable," and added, "I have a long record of supporting people with disabilities and should have remembered that before I spoke. My remarks were inappropriate and I apologize."

I appreciate the apology, but obviously it's not up to me to accept it or decline it.  I am curious, however, as to why Sarah Palin didn't nose her way into this (here's the garbage I mentioned like four sentences ago).  A liberal says something about the handicapped (which I don't condone either) and she jumps all over it, but a conservative makes a distasteful joke and she's silent.  What the fuck, Palin?  Don't pick and choose your battles based on party lines.  That's a pretty strong indication that you don't actually have any moral fortitude on the subject.

Image found at The TexasFred Blog.  

I'm only mentioning that to cite the source.  Don't actually go there.

He's surprisingly quite conservative despite the picture.

Also, he sucks.

Bob Beckel Mispronounces RNC Chairman's Name On Fox.

Bob Beckel, the punching bag for Fox News' program "The Five", made a bit of a slip up Monday night when he accidentally pronounced RNC Chairman Reince Priebus' name as "Free Pussy."  This isn't the first time Beckel has screwed up on television.  Just last April, he told another guest that, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" and live cameras caught every word.  To be fair, his accusation probably wasn't that far off.  He is on Fox News.

Here's what he said the other night:

“I think when [President Barack Obama] started out, he was neutral about Mitt Romney, and frankly so was I.  I thought he was a nice guy. I’ve come to believe he is a terrible — well, I won’t say liar. I wont diminish myself down to where Republicans, or free, free pussy. Fro, free pro. Or, pro-prebus…”

I'm not condemning or approving of what Beckel said because, quite frankly, I think it's just absolutely fucking hilarious.  Priebus does have a strange name, but it sounds nothing like "Free Pussy."  Maybe something else was on Beckel's mind that night?  Hint: It wasn't "pro-prebus."


Click here for the video.*

Reince Priebus has suffered through his name being made fun of before, be it directly or by accident.  Stephen Colbert said it best when he equated the RNC Chairman's name to the Latin term for "erectile dysfunction."

Whether Beckel gets fired or not for saying "pussy" on air hasn't been determined yet.  It is interesting to note, however, that many right-wing blogs and sites claim that he was trying to call Priebus a pussy.  This is ludicrous.  If you watch that video, it's clear that the man was just stuttering and ended up butchering the chairman's name.  Nothing more, and nothing less.

Get over it.  No kids watch Fox News anyway.  Just old, hateful people.  


*For those of you that watched the video, the things that Bolling said before Beckel slipped up are irrelevant to this post.  That's a topic for someone else to cover.

Mitt Romney To Govenor Scott: Your Good News Is Clashing With My Narrative.

One of the biggest issues of the 2012 election is who can create more jobs, President Obama or Mitt Romney.  With a dropping unemployment rate since August of 2011 (excluding last month, of course), it's hard to argue that what Obama is doing isn't working.  The U.S. is, despite the roadblocks set up by a Republican Congress, crawling out of the Great Recession that the president inherited from George Bush.

"But, Shaun!" you might say.  "The president had a Democratic majority in the House and the Senate from 2008 to 2010.  Why didn't he get more done then?!"  Read up on what a filibuster is or, better, how many times the Republicans used it, then get back to me.

The Right Wing Does Not Understand What Racism Is and What It Isn't.

The host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" has come under fire from the right again after a short post he made to the show's blog page on Monday.  In it, Maher criticized the Republican party for becoming more extreme with each passing day, and blamed them for our current dysfunctional government.

Well, uh, agreed.  You'll see no arguments from me there (or really anywhere in regards to his post).  I will say this, though: Right-Wingers are incredibly talented when it comes jumping gaps in logic.  Here's a great example.  At the beginning of the post, Maher writes:

"The idea that the blame for our government’s dysfunction is equally shared by the parties just is a giant, steaming mound of horseshit and anyone who has paid attention to politics over the last 20 years knows it. Or as I like to call it, 'The Rise of the Party of the Apes.' "

Romney Will Give Americans Another War.

Image found at 3chicspolitico.com

It's no secret that the majority of Americans did not look favorably on our war with Iraq, or with the president that took us into that mess.  So why would anybody advocate another war with a country that has not provoked us?  At this point in time, it's a good way to commit political suicide.  

Enter Mitt Romney,  Someone forgot to plug him in the another night to recharge, apparently forcing a system-wide reboot.  A few flips weren't saved, so they flopped.  It was quite the disaster for his management team.

Conservative Talking Points Debunked.

Now that Romney is the Republican candidate, all of the Conservative talking points are (once again) being flung at President Obama - that he's a Muslim, that he wasn't born in the United States, yaddah yaddah yaddah.  Wait, sorry.  I say that like people ever shut the fuck up for a second to let the president do his job.  I should rephrase.  After the harrowing Republican primaries and debates, during which we watched a bunch of white people verbally abuse the living shit out of each other, the Right has rearmed and re-aimed its nonsense machine at the president. 

Well, folks, you've seen the man's birth certificate from Hawaii.  He says he's not a Muslim (as if his religion really matters), and he's yet to impose any Satanic/Islamic laws on us good Christians.  So I'm going to go ahead and say it: Stop.  Just stop.  

Dumb people already bought into that shit, and those of us intelligent Americans with not-so-short attention spans remember 2008.  We've heard it all before.  We didn't believe it then, and we won't believe it now.  No facts, no case.  You don't need to repeat yourself for the mouth-breathers of America.  They've been repeating that nonsense like it's gospel since McCain lost.

This is why President Obama is laughing in the picture above.  He is going to win reelection in 2012, as long as he can get his base motivated enough to get out and vote.  What is Romney going to dig up on him that people haven't heard already?  Nothing.  All he can do is regurgitate talking points for the next six months.  Here are just a few spun as the right-wing would.

1.) President Obama took credit for killing Osama Bin Laden - the credit belongs to the troops.  Well, yes and no.  President Obama often makes it known that OBL wouldn't have been taken out had it not been for the brave actions of our men and women in uniform.  Here's a fun fact: Bush had the opportunity to get Osama and he didn't take it.  President Obama made the decision to infiltrate Bin Laden's compound, and he did it despite everyone in his cabinet telling him not to.  In the end, Bin Laden was shot in the face, and everyone made it out alive.  Had Obama not made that call, the mastermind of 9/11 would still be loose, and the Navy Seals of Seal Team Six never would have entered Pakistan.   

2.) President Obama wants to take away our 2nd Amendment Rights.  This is false.  He has strengthened it, if anything, and only wants to take automatic weapons off the table.  It's a fair trade, I think.  Would you be comfortable seeing anybody walk down the street with an AK-47?  I doubt it.  Of course, the leader of the N.R.A., Wayne LaPierre, wants everyone to believe it's all a conspiracy, that the president will put his full plan into action in his second term.  Wayne LaPierre is also a fucking idiot.

3.) President Obama has increased taxes on the middle class, and has not pulled us out of the recession.  This is also false.  President Obama has not increased taxes on the middle class, and the jobless numbers are slowly dwindling.  If the Republicans would have compromised more with the Democrats over the last four years, things would be a lot better now. 

 4.) Obama is a Socialist.  Dead.  Fucking.  Wrong.  While bailing out the auto industry was a socialist move, look at the result.  The auto industry paid back all the money with interest before his first term was over!  President Obama is not a socialist - he's a progressive.  It doesn't matter, really.  Socialism is actually a great thing.  Americans, particularly conservatives, have it in their heads that it's a bad thing after the Red Scare.  Please understand that Socialism and Communism are two very different things.

President Obama Reveals Communist Ideals With New Slogan.

Above is President Obama's new campaign slogan.  On the surface it means that he wants to take America and the American people forward.  By and large, I think we can all agree that this is a good thing.  Nobody wants to go backward. 

But what's the subtext?  That President Obama wants to take America and the American people forward?  No, no, no.  It's far more sinister.

Thankfully we have people in this country that know the true meaning of "forward", as well as what Obama's next move as president would be if he wins the 2012 election.  Just a note for all my conservative readers:  I'm being facetious in that last sentence.  Forward means forward and little else.

The Attack On Woman's Rights.

With each day that passes, there's a new headline announcing how yet another state has pushed to repeal some form of a woman's rights.  It's too bad, then, that our disgustingly lazy media would rather report on how large Kim Kardashian's ass has gotten, or the ongoing feud between Hillary Rosen and Ann Romney (which is a pointless argument - both are kind of wrong).

Let's start from the top.  Democrats and liberals, noticing that Republicans and conservatives have become more and more focused on passing legislation that involves only women, began to claim that the GOP was trying to start a war on women.  Republicans and their media arm, Fox News, shot back with the ever-so-adult, "Nah-uh!  You are!"  

Now, to say that this is a "war" is both ridiculous and sensationalist.  It isn't a war.  That's insulting for two reasons: 1) It trivializes actual war (like the one in Afganistan) and 2) It makes it sound like legislators are reaching for their weapons and firing at women.  The proper term, I think, is "attack."  Politicians are attacking the same rights that women have been working towards for the last one-hundred plus years.