Saturday, December 4, 2010

Let's Dispel Some Myths About President Obama.

My, God... America has elected a black, unpatriotic, socialist, Muslim, non-native, 
elitist, college-educated, non-military, inexperienced terrorist to the office of the President!  

Yes, that's right.  Two years ago, my foolish generation of non-racist, educated, rational liberals came out and voted in such numbers that John McCain was reminded of how badly he had lost to Abe Lincoln.  Are you happy, you hooligans?  Now the goddamn war is ending, we're improving our standing in the world, and our economy is snapping back from what could have been the next Great Depression.  I hope you're proud of yourselves.  

At least, that's what I would say if I was a bitter-ass Republican/Conservative (Note: Not all Rep/Cons hate Obama- just the majority- and I'm talking about them).  I have received so much untrue chain letters and heard so much ignorant blather about President Obama, it makes me sick.  I am all for criticizing government when it steps out of bounds- and I did it quite a bit between 2000 and 2008- but at least make sure you have your facts straight.  I'm going to dispel these stupid rumors right now.  Although there is one fact checking site I highly recommend for pretty much everything, and I believe it's called "".  Once again, everything I am about to say is plain common sense.  It would take roughly five minutes on a google search to prove these allegations wrong. 

1.) "Obama wasn't born in America."  Yes, yes he was.  He was born in Hawaii in early August of 1961.  Hawaii became an American state two years prior.  It was close, but Obama was still born a citizen of the United States.  You know who should have been looked at a bit more?  John McCain.  He was born in the Panama Canal Zone, which isn't a state at all.  Oh, right-wingers.  What funny things you ignore in the face of a threat. 

2.) "Barack Obama is the anti-Christ."  Seriously?  How do you figure?  The Book of Revelation does not even mention the word "anti-Christ", let alone his qualifications.  That whole "Muslim in his 40's" shtick is complete bullshit as well, seeing as Revelation was finished four-hundred years prior to Islam's founding as a religion.  Stop blending The Bible with predictions made by Nostradamus Oh, and by the way, Obama is not a Muslim.  He's made that abundantly clear.  Not that it would matter really.  Many Americans think that all of our Presidents have been Christian, but that's not so.  Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln were atheists, as well as many of the founding fathers.  
     I would also like to note that one of the guys I went to Basic Training with looked me dead in the eye and said, word for word, "I believe with my whole heart that President Obama is the anti-Christ."  I, in turn, laughed and said, "And I believe with all of my heart that you are an uneducated and ignorant asshole."  He then proceeded to use the word "ignorant" in multiple sentences in an attempt to mock me. He did not use it correctly once, convincing me that he had no idea what it meant.  Imagine my surprise when I found out he was from the South.  

3.) "Obama is a Muslim."  No, goddamn it, no.  He is a non-affiliated Christian.  He had spent twenty years going to the same Christian church!  How does that possibly scream, "Muslim!" to you?  Besides, the vast majority of Muslims pray five times a day, facing Mecca.  It is likely that, after two years of being in the public eye, someone would have seen him doing this by now.  

4.) "Obama's real name is Barry Soetoro!"  Haha!  No.  His step father's last name was Soetoro, yes, but Barack Obama always attending college as an Obama.  This was a rumor started as an April Fool's Day joke that has since been circulated by people that believe him to be not of this country.  It has something to do with college scholarships to him that only non-native students can receive.  Again, it was just an April Fool's joke, and anyone who believes it is clearly a fool.

5.) "Obama is a socialist."  First of all, socialism is not a bad thing.  In fact, it's pretty sweet because it gets rid of that concept of money.  If you are a painter, you paint, and in return, you get groceries from the farmer, check ups from the doctor, and car repairs from a mechanic- all for free!  What ruins socialism is that A.) People are greedy and like to see some form of gain from their work and B.) People would have no motivation to work because we as humans wouldn't deny non-workers from food, shelter, and medicine.  Human nature is to help, and as pissed off as we would be at these slackers, we wouldn't condemn them to death for it.  At any rate, no, Obama is not a socialist. Even the leader of the Socialist Party of America laughed at the idea, and said he was one of the least Socialist politicians he could think of.
I love this picture for many reasons, one of them being the comparison of Obama to The Joker.
I know it's a play on words, but the idea behind it is really stupid.  The Joker was an anarchist, which is
completely different from a socialist.

6.) "Obama wants to stop paying our military in order to save the country money."  This is complete and utter bullshit.  No one in their right mind would ever suggest such a thing- it's political suicide.  What Obama suggested- and then did- was freeze the pay of government workers, not including the military.  This does not, by the way, mean that he stopped paying them.  It just means that they wouldn't get the rather large raises every year that they were used to for just a little while.  The military is still getting paid, and they will still be getting raises.  

7.) "Obama wants me to call my Christmas Tree a Holiday Tree!"  Yes, and while you're at it, call your menorah a Holiday Candle Holder, and your Christmas Carols Holiday Tunes.  Honestly, Obama doesn't give a fuck what you call your tree.  Call it "Fire Risk" or "Pine Tree Stan".  I'm sure he won't stop you.  Obama doesn't even call his tree a Holiday Tree.  Again, that's a myth.  And really, why do you care what he calls his tree anyway?  You only stick a fucking tree in your house once a year- I'm pretty sure we can all figure out that it's a Christmas Tree, even if he calls it something else.  Then again, he doesn't.
Obama wants YOU to stop calling this a "Christmas Tree", and start
calling it a "Pathetic Excuse For a Holiday Tree" Tree.  Yes, two "Trees".  

8.) "By refusing to torture terrorists, Obama is putting our national security at risk."  Quite the opposite, actually.  By not resorting to torture, our enemies can no longer use that as a recruiting tool.  Not only that, but it certainly improves our standing with the world.  We say we are this big,  lovable moral country, and yet we water-board the shit out of enemy POW's claiming that it's not torture.  Not torture?  Have you ever seen or experienced water-boarding?  It makes you feel as though you are drowning over and over and over again, with few breaks in between.  Sounds like torture to me.  Let's have some fun with it, though.  Next time you are in the bath or the shower, take a wet washcloth and put it on your face, then stick your head nose up under the running faucet.  If you really want to get extreme with it, have a friend tie your hands and feet down so that you can't take the washcloth off, or move your head out from underneath the faucet.  It's a blast!

This is a post that I will continually update whenever I get a dumb chain email, hear something stupid on Fox News about him, or see something on Facebook that makes me cringe.  Join the fan page on Facebook (A Sane Break) to get notifications whenever I update it.  Oh, and if anyone can think of some more myths, feel free to comment below and I will dispose of them properly.  I know there are more, but it's late and the ignorance about Obama that I am recalling is pissing me off.             

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