Thursday, January 31, 2013

It's Official! President Obama To Seek Third Term As POTUS.

Readers, you all know by now that I worship President Obama.  I have an entire room in my apartment dedicated to his existence, complete with hair follicles, pictures, and a piece of gum he spit out on his last trip to Maine.  It's obvious, I think, by now that he has never done anything wrong in his life, nor will he ever, and will go down in history as the greatest president to ever hold the office of Commander-in-Chief, future presidents included.  He is the reason I get up every morning (I have to recite the Obama Loyalty Oath during the rise of the sun), and the reason I go to bed every night (he frequently visits me in my dreams for a little homo-erotic subconscious sinning).

I, like all leftist, atheist, liberal socialists, was afraid last year.  I was afraid that our Dear Leader would only have four years to accomplish the take-over of this country.  Luckily for us, Romney was soundly defeated thanks to our tampering with the vote count in Florida, Virginia, and Ohio, bringing about four more years of radical change.

The innocent Republicans are scared and on the run, but all they have to do is hang on until 2016.  Will that be enough time for us to finish our mission, my brothers and sisters?  No, it won't.  Thankfully, President Obama's loyal and devout followers have realized this.  Representative Jose Serrano of New York has begun taking the necessary steps to repeal the 22nd Amendment with HJ Resolution 15.

Does HJ Resolution have any chance of passing?  No... in fact, it has zero chance of making it out of committee.  It always has.

Oh, did I say "always"?  Well, President Obama actually began taking the steps to secure his third term back during the Bush Administration in the year 2001.  Clever, huh?  Unfortunately, Serrano's resolution won't be the president's solution to his third term.  In fact, changing amendments won't do it at all.

According to page 45 of the Ninth Essentials Edition of "We The People" by Ginsberg, Lowi, Weir, Tolbert, and Spitzer:

"The Constitution established procedures for its own revision in Article V.  Its provisions are so difficult that the document has been successfully amended only 17 times since 1791, when the first 10 amendments were adopted.  Thousands of other amendments have been proposed in Congress, but fewer than 40 of them have even come close to fulfilling the Constitution's requirement of a two-thirds vote in Congress, and only a fraction have gotten anywhere near adoption by three-fourths of the states."

Shit.  Only 17 times, huh?  Looks like Representative Serrano missed the mark, here.  So what, then, is our Dear Leader going to do to get reelected in 2016?  Simple!

The recent spike in gun violence in this country has given our side an advantage.  We can now use the threat of future violence to lure centrists to our side and get the numbers we need to do what must be done to finish our radical liberal take-over of America:

Take their guns.

Without their guns, the right-wing will be completely defenseless, allowing President Obama to move U.S. troops into every state to usurp the rights of conservatives and Republicans alike.  It'll be quick, almost overnight.  We can't give them any warning.  It's why Obama has yet to take a single right away from anyone since he took office in January of 2009.  They can't see it coming, and they can't be able to defend themselves.  A strong right-wing defense just means more left-wing casualties.

Soon we'll be able to stop pretending that we're the ideology of peace and rational thought, of equality and love.  Soon we can cast aside that mantle and show our true colors!

Of course, Obama will need millions of loyal agents willing to go into the homes of their fellow Americans to actually take these guns.  We'd need to get law enforcement involved and ready to go along with the plan, too.  Courts would also need to look the other way... logistics might be an issue... and conservatives would probably defend themselves from the seizure...

You know what?  Let's not think about the crazy details just yet.  We've got four years to work the kinks out.  And a third term?  Totally doable.

Anyone who believes that President Obama is running for a third term is a fucking idiot.  And to think that his supporters are "sheep" enough to go along with something so ridiculous is ignorant and disrespectful.  He's a good president, sure, but goddamn, he has no intention of running for a third term in any way, shape, or form.  Why the hell would he?

For more on why this story is a conspiracy theory and nothing more, check out this Addicting Info article.

Or this quote from David Adler, director of the Andrus Center for Public Policy at Boise State University:
“There is nothing in his tenure as president, nothing that we know of him, that indicates that Barack Obama is going to seek a third term. Short of a military coup, the 22nd Amendment stands as an insurmountable obstacle to a third-term president today, and there is no evidence to suggest Obama or his supporters are planning on staging a coup. It’s a right-wing fantasy cooked up to try to frighten Americans.”

No comments: