RAGE POST- Isn't It A Bit Early To Reboot The Spider-Man Movies?

He looks so uncomfortable... does the Spider-Man costume

have a stretchy neck because this guy looks part giraffe.

Meet your new Peter Parker, actor Andrew Garfield.  You might know him from such classics as The Social Network, two episodes of Doctor Who from 2007, and the Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.  But if you're like me, you probably have no fucking clue who this guy is.   

Sony Pictures is already rebooting the very well done Spider-Man series that was directed by Sam Raimi and had Toby Maguire as the web-slinging superhero.  I have to know though... isn't this a bit too soon for a reboot?  I mean, sure, the Hulk movie was rebooted in less time with Edward Norton, but lets face it, the first one was like watching cats scratch a chalk board for two hours.

The first Spider-Man movie was the first film in history to pass the $100 million dollar mark for a single weekend, and made $822 million total worldwide.  Spider-Man 2 and 3 did equally well, surpassing Harry Potter and Star Wars movies at the time (the third movie drew in $890 million worldwide).  I will admit, a lot of people did have problems with the final movie in the trilogy, but Raimi was gearing up to make a 4th, 5th, and 6th.  Too many, you say?  No way!  Spider-Man has been around for decades, and there are no shortage of great stories.  Raimi was blamed for trying to shove too many subplots into one film, which I thought was unfair because the fans were crying out for multiple villains.  When Raimi delivered, the world turned on him.  My issue was really the script.  The writer was either changed between 2 and 3, or he was extremely stressed out because I've written better dialogue in my sleep.

Worse, director Sam Raimi wasn't shit canned from the Spider-Man project for a good reason.  He didn't believe he could make the deadline of May 2011 (when they hadn't even finished the script by March of 2010) without sacrificing the film's creativity.  He was also having trouble picking a villain because the first villain he chose- the Lizard- "didn't have a human face" according to Sony.  So Raimi said, "Okay, let's cast John Malkovich as the Vulture, and Anne Hatheway as his daughter, the Vultress."  "Nah," said, Sony.  "They aren't well known villains."  If I were Raimi, I would have been beyond frustrated.  Raimi was let go/quit*, and Maguire/Dunst said they wouldn't reprise their roles without him.  

Super strength and the ability to drain the age out of a human 

with a touch.  Sounds menacing.

"Well, we're in quite a conundrum," said one of Sony's CEO's while he pissed on the three terminated contracts.  "Indeed," replied another who was busy erasing all files that linked Sony to Spider-Man.  "Maybe we could reboot it?"  "OMFG, yes!  And let's do it in 3D!"

That's right, 3D.  Sony is literally trying to make it obvious that whatever cash is in your wallets will soon become theirs.  My biggest fear, aside from the 3D, is that Sony intends to have this movie be about Peter Parker developing his powers while in high school instead of between high school and college.  While it would certainly add to the drama, I think the average age of the audience (and thereby the content of the movie) will drastically decrease.  Sorry, but I really don't want my Spider-Man to have a bed time.  Oh, and side note: If he is in high school, wouldn't he technically be Spider-Teen?  Or Spider-Boy?  The term "man" is a bit of a stretch for a 15-18 year old.  Although the actor is almost 28.  Yeah...creepy.

Still, I will with hold judgment of this movie until the trailers are released.  Until then, I'd like to know what everyone else thinks.  Definitely leave me a comment with your thoughts.  Here's my own personal list of pros and cons:

PROS

1) The villain- known as the Lizard- is extremely bad ass.

2) It does have a lot of potential, provided a good script and director.

3) Spider-Man is easily has the best villains and the best story plots of all the superheroes.  And he's relatable.  He isn't rich like Batman or alien like Superman.  And all of his villains aren't actually bad, there is a definite gray area to them.  

With this Andrew Garfield guy playing Spider-Man, I might 

be rooting for the Lizard to win.  He's so bad ass!

CONS

1) The acting could easily be shitty.  I'm talking "The Last Airbender" shitty, not your normal everyday kind of sub-par acting.

2) I'm very worried about the whole high school setting.  Keep Glee out of Spider-Man please.

3) Seriously, isn't it a bit early for a reboot?!?  Jesus Christ, let's finish eating the first cake before moving on to the second.

4) Uh, who the fuck is Andrew Garfield again?

5) Emma Stone is cast as Gwen Stacy, Parker's love interest? So.... Gwen is going to be a high school whore, okay.

I'll probably update this particular blog post when I know more about the movie.  

*Raimi was let go for not thinking he could make the original 2011 deadline and by choosing a poor villain.  Ironically, the reboot won't be released until 2012, and Raimi's original choice, the Lizard, will be the villain.  Oops?