Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Sheen-Machine.

"Why doesn't anyone understand?!  I beat women and do
heavy drugs while working on an unfunny sitcom!  What
part of that isn't clear after a goddamn decade!?"

Do you see this man?  This man right here?  He is a narcissistic fucking lunatic.  And yet, for some strange reason, the media is going crazy over him.  For the past week, one of CNN's top headlines has been about this raging douche and, after checking other news outlets, I was shocked to discover that they weren't alone.

This is not Hollywood's first rodeo with an egotistical assclown like Mr. Sheen here.  In fact, it is hardly their tenth with him in particular.  At least once a year, the rest of the world and I play witness to a Sheen-Machine breakdown. One year he's beating his wife, the next year he's in rehab, the year after that he's sober but screwing/beating porn stars...  Rinse and repeat.

And now he's saying crazy shit about his sub-standard television sitcom that, in all honesty, is about as funny as British humor.  As of the moment, he makes $2 million an episode (really?!), and he wants that bumped up to $3 million per episode.  I would rather go with a system where he gets paid based on how many laughs the show gets from its audience, multiplied by one hundred.  Oh, shit... then he'd work for nothing.  "Two Guys and A Sheen" got axed, and had to finish the season a few episodes short due to his latest antics (such as insulting everyone else on the show and the network on national tv/radio).

Oh, but it gets better.  When defending his "honor" on several talk shows, the Sheen-Machine has been talking about how he's been receiving calls from celebrity friends that are totally on his side.  One of his examples?  Mel.  Fucking. Gibson.  That is like being a four-time murderer on trial, only to call Jeffery Dahmer to the stand to defend you.  

So I beg you, America.  Stop paying attention to him.  He has a God-Complex the size of his drug closet (it takes up a whole wing in his mansion, if you weren't aware), and an attitude that is matched only by his level of douchebaggery.  Don't believe me?  He keeps two porn stars around and calls them his "goddesses".  You aren't Zeus, Sheen-Machine, and those ladies certainly aren't part of your harem.  They're only with you because of your money and rapidly deteriorating fame.  But I guess you'll find that out soon enough.



Vanessa said...

Just a little word in his defense here, he is obviously having some sort of mental break. He is showing many many signs of a severe manic episode and/or continued heavy drug use. There are certain things he's said, like how others would want to turn his brain off, how he's answered to a higher power and cured his brain within an hour, how he is unable to sleep because of a higher calling asking him to stand guard and even the fact that he continues to go on and on and on about how he's a winner and invincible, that all point to mania. Symptoms of a manic episode include racing thoughts, erratic behavior, excessive and often incoherent speech, grandious delusions of self and of higher powers, insomnia, terrible decision making (like continued interviews despite the damage it causes him) and the list goes on. Bottom line, he's sick, very very sick and he could use a bit of compassion. He may not be the most likeable guy but he's also trapped in a personal hell.

A Sane Break said...

Oh, he's absolutely having a mental break. And it's definitely something he should seek help for, should he come to realize how sick he is. The main point here is that the media needs to stop talking about him so he stops seeking attention.

I do, however, find him to be a complete ass, and have for many years. His recent break with reality doesn't change the fact that he beat his ex-wife, Denise Richards, and recently abducted his twin sons from their mother. When she told him she was going to go over and take them back, he told her that he would "cut off her head and mail it to her mother". What really bugs me is that he's immune to the law due to his celebrity status (I mean, that was a DEATH THREAT), so his insanity can basically go unchecked- no one wants to help him because, in the eyes of the media, he's just too damn fun to watch.

I'm definitely not trying to attack you here, I'm just stating my point a bit more clearly. I really appreciate you posting the signs of a manic episode too- it's very very interesting!

Vanessa Marie said...

I don't feel attacked and I certainly wasn't trying to excuse his actions in any way. In fact, I'm not even above saying openly that I find his interviews to be hilarious because of how bizarre he is right now. My point was more that, even though his actions are wrong, they may quite literally be out of his control. Consider Andrea Yates, who killed her children because of psychotic break after having her fifth child. What she did was terrible and so heavily influenced by her illness that it becomes almost incomprehensible to us healthy brained folk. When she finally received proper treatment she was forced to adopt our point of view and live with the horror of her actions for the rest of her life, public image and condemnation aside. THAT is where compassion is needed because even the nicest person will act like an asshole during a psychotic break. Their actions may suck but the suffering that fuels those actions would destroy even the best of intentions. I agree with you that he's a total dick and it should absolutely be said that not all people who are mentally ill will behave so violently. Those that do demonstrate the severity of their illness, therefore I think that death threats should not land him in jail but in a hospital where he is forced to receive the help he needs.