Friday, March 4, 2011

Mike Huck Vs. Nat P

Meet Natalie Portman - A Harvard Graduate, a fantastic
Hollywood actress, and a soon-to-be Mom.  But she has a secret...
Both her and her unborn child are already destined for HELL.

I just have to soak in this moment.  Two worlds have collided in the best of ways as former presidential candidate Mike Huckabee attacked Natalie Portman for being pregnant.  Is it because she leads a destructive lifestyle of drugs, parties, sex, and violence?  No, no.  No destructive lifestyle for Natalie.  Huckabee has called Portman out for being pregnant out of wedlock.  

First of all, I'd like to say that Mike Huckabee has no business sticking his nose into Natalie's personal bubble.  It's not his kid (I hope), and therefore it's not his concern.  Just because he's a talking hate machine for Fox News, doesn't mean he receives the ability to wedge his way into people's sex lives.

Second of all, it's worth mentioning that Huckabee's issue isn't just about the fact that she is having a child out of wedlock, but also that she "serves as a bad role model" for doing so.  

Because I am a man of lists, I'm just going to outline the main things that piss me off about Huckafuck calling her out on this.

1.) Natalie Portman is a Harvard graduate.  I am more than willing to bet that, if she gets pregnant, she knows what's in store for her.  Not only that, but she's engaged and in love.  Is there really a problem here?

2.) Portman isn't exactly a role model for girls between 13-17.  In fact, she hasn't really been in any roles suitable for girls that age to see her in.  Without that connection, the role model thing isn't established.  I would be far more worried, Mr. Huckabee, if Miley Cyrus announced she was pregnant.  She's young, she's "in touch" with her generation, she's famous, she can sing, and she has been on television.  Miley Cyrus is far more relatable for younger girls than Natalie Portman.  That would be like a thirteen year old boy, in 2011, looking up to Steve Martin.  Martin isn't relatable to a boy that age.  Thirty years ago, yes.  But not now.

3.) Most intelligent, sane people do not go out and do things just because they see actresses do it.  If that were the case, a lot more of Lindsay Lohan's fans would be in rehab or jail by now.  The concept applies to men too.  Most men don't go out and beat up hookers/porn stars when the Sheen-Machine does it.  You aren't, I hope, insinuating that young women are more inclined to do stupid things... are you Huckafuck?

4.) The woman just won best actress for christ sake!  Give her at least a few weeks before you start slinging shit at her.  By the way, if anyone challenges me on the fact that she should have won that, I will cut you.  Her performance and dedication in Black Swan was nothing short of amazing.

Mike Huckabee trying out for a part in Black Swan.  He wasn't so much 
"auditioning" as he was... saying he would do sexual favors for the part.
He lost the role to Portman, and has been bitter ever since.

5.) "One of the most troubling things is that people see a Natalie Portman or some other Hollywood starlet that boasts of, hey look, we're having children, we're not married, but we're having children and they're doing just fine," Huckabee told host Mike Medved on his radio program.

When the hell was she boasting that?  I don't recall her ever saying that.  She's happy to be a soon-to-be mother.  Is that so wrong?  I feel like Huckabee is assuming things that are not fact.  

6.) "There aren't really a lot of single moms out there that are making millions of dollars each year by being in a movie," Huckabee said. "I think it gives a distorted image that not everybody hires nannies and caretakers and nurses. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can't get a job, and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and would not get healthcare." 

No shit, Sherlock!  No one in their right mind thinks that single mothers are hiring nannies and making millions.  And by the way, she isn't single, she's engaged (that means she will be a wife soon), so she does have "male support".  Not that it matters.  I feel personally insulted by the audacity of the above quote.  My mother was single, raising my sister and I without government assistance.  She had two, sometimes three jobs, kept food on the table, and was not "uneducated".  But thanks for making that generalization, Huckafuck.  I'm sure the other single mothers out there really appreciate your comments.

Maybe I'm just reading into this too much.  It's hard to say.  The thing is, Mike Huckabee has no business or place talking about Natalie Portman, or other mothers out there, in this manner.  And again, maybe it's just me, but I get the feeling that he is not saying something that he wants to here: that she can't and shouldn't have kids without being married because single mothers are too weak to do it on their own without a man at their side.  Yes, that is a big step for me to take.  But knowing Huckafuck's views on "the American family" and his extreme distaste for gay/lesbian parents, well... I think it's a pretty justified thing for me to say.

So in conclusion, Mike Huckabee...
                                  ...Fuck you.

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