Wednesday, February 1, 2012

From A Biblical Perspective, It's Okay To Pay Teacher's Less Money.

How can someone be speaking in front of a Christmas Tree
looking as sour as this guy?  Did someone just remind him that
he's a state senator from Alabama?
This is Alabama State Senator Shadrack McGill (R) and no, I did not take that from a Dungeons and Dragons character sheet.  That is seriously his name.  And I have a bit of a kerfuffle with Slim Shady-rack here in regards to one of his recent stances towards Alabama teachers.  Admittedly I did not, up until now, know that Alabama had teachers, but that doesn't mean that I'm unwilling to stand up for them when the time comes.   

According to ThinkProgress, McGill voted against raising the annual salary of teachers not because they were undeserving, but because "It's a Biblical principle."  First of all, what an asshole.  Second of all, for all of the talk the Republican Conservatives drum up about following the Constitution, they sure don't know much about it.  What the fuck ever happened to the separation between church and state, guys?

So instead of making a convincing argument against doubling Alabama teacher's salaries (such as the fact that Alabama ranks #43 out of 50 in education, and perhaps the teachers don't deserve a pay raise - still not something I would agree with but at least it makes a bit more sense), he doubles down and starts preaching from a book written by a large number of uneducated buffoons in the Bronze Age.  Worse, he's making shit up that isn't in the Bible.

Let's follow McGill down his insane rabbit hole for just a moment and try and level with him on his thinking.

"It's a Biblical principle. If you double a teacher's pay scale, you'll attract people who aren't called to teach.  To go in and raise someone's child for eight hours a day, or many people's children for eight hours a day, requires a calling. It better be a calling in your life. I know I wouldn't want to do it, OK?  And these teachers that are called to teach, regardless of the pay scale, they would teach. It's just in them to do. It's the ability that God give 'em. And there are also some teachers, it wouldn't matter how much you would pay them, they would still perform to the same capacity.  If you don't keep that in balance, you're going to attract people who are not called, who don't need to be teaching our children. So, everything has a balance."

If I understand McGill correctly, he's saying that because God has given people the ability and the unwavering drive to teach, it's okay to pay them a shitty salary.  But why stop there, McGill?  Why not take a teacher's pay away from them in its entirety?  After all, if God made them into teachers, then they should teach without the privilege of earning money. 

I'm going to try to word this as simply as I can: Senator McGill, you are so full of shit, it's no wonder you have that constipated look on your face all the time.  You're argument is illogical.  A poop-chucking chimp could come up with a better reason to not increase a teacher's pay.  My anger doesn't just stem from the fact that he's making up nonsense that wasn't even in an entire book of nonsense.  Oh, no.  Here's the real source of my fury, summed up by ThinkProgress:

"McGill found justification in the Bible for not increasing teacher pay, but he evidently found nothing in scripture preventing him from approving a 67 percent pay increase for legislators in 2007, which increased annual salaries for the part-time legislators from $30,710 to $49,500. He said that the higher pay helped to stop corruption.

"A 2011 report showed that while Alabama teachers have the highest starting salaries in the nation, the state lags far behind the national average for teacher pay. Currently, a part-time legislator in Alabama is making more than a full-time teacher with a Master’s degree and 15 years of experience."
Holy Douchebag, Batman.  A part-time politician makes more than a full time teacher with a six year degree and fifteen years of experience?  That is absolute fucking nonsense.  My fingertips are bleeding because I AM TYPING SO GODDAMN HARD OUT OF PURE, UNRATED ANGER.

And to say that increasing legislative salaries helps to prevent corruption shows that McGill is completely out of touch with reality.  What do people with money want?  More fucking money.  If anything, the briber would have to pay more to sway a politician than he did before.

This makes me sick.  I'm done writing for the night.  Let me know if you think this shit is fair in the comment section below - and please don't post as ANONYMOUS. 

Or you can contact the esteemed Slim Shad-rack himself and let him know what a fucker he is.


xxSuperPetexx said...

As much as I appreciate your use of the word "kerfuffle," I feel I should let you know that technically it makes no sense in the context of your post. A "kerfuffle" means a commotion, or a frenzy, or a clusterfuck. You do not HAVE a kerfuffle with McGill. Perhaps if you jumped him as he walked home from work and beat the living shit out of him, that would be a kerfuffle. And the ensuing scandal would also be a kerfuffle. Kerfuffle Kerfuffle Kerfuffle.

A Sane Break said...

You know what's funny? When I first typed the word and didn't see the little red "incorrect" line underneath it, I thought everything was too good to be true. I suppose I should have looked up the definition before I celebrated.

Thanks for the correction, xxSuperPetexx! I'd change it but then your comment wouldn't make much sense. I shall leave the word "kerfuffle" up for all the world to see! Now...

...I cry in shame.