LePage Rage.

Note: Every picture of Governor LePage is followed by an actual, word for word quote.  Link is at the bottom.

"I would say intelligence, uh, the more education you have

the more knowledge you have the better person you are and I 

believe yes and yes." -When asked if he believed Creationism

should be taught in Maine schools, May 2010.

It should be of no surprise to anyone paying attention to American politics that the incumbent governor of Maine, Paul LePage, is a twit.  He won with 38.3% of the vote in 2010 because the election had numerous runners, including three independents and a democrat.  Had the latter dropped out, independent candidate Eliot Cutler would have received more than 50% of the vote.  To give you a sense of how much better of a person Cutler is than LePage, he didn't run a single negative campaign ad during the election season.  Not one.    

But we got stuck with the man that literally looks like how all big-business republicans are portrayed.  Some say the appeal of LePage is that he is blunt and straightforward - characteristics that most politicians unfortunately lack.  Those that do not support the governor, myself included, argue that his bluntness is an understatement.  He behaves more like a mob boss than a state leader.  He is supposed to represent the state of Maine and, as such, the people of Maine.  Instead, he is an embarrassment to us, and really to all of New England.  Like an unedited, walking conservative-republican talking points memo, LePage does everything in his power to tear down unions, education, labor laws, human rights, the environment, the president, and liberals.  Don't believe me?  Fuck it, let's take a good look at some examples, all of which will be rated according to the "Dick Scale."  The Dick Scale is a measure of how much of a dick an individual is, or how "dickish" his/her's actions are.  My scale is simple, ranging from 1-5, 1 being that the person/action isn't dickish, and 5 being a person/action that is clearly such a dick, words can barely describe it.

On March 23rd of 2011, LePage announced that he was going to remove a mural from the Maine Department of Labor that depicted the history of the state's labor movement.  You read that right.  LePage is offended that lower and middle class people are depicted standing up for their rights in a government building.  The artist, Judy Taylor, stated that there was no agenda behind the mural (anti or pro labor), and that it merely showed the facts.  This sparked immediate outrage not just in Maine, but across the country.  LePage went one step further, however, when he announced that he would also be renaming the conference rooms that had the names of historic leaders of labor because they were, "not in keeping with the department's pro-business goals."   There were protests aplenty to this idea, and LePage did what any mobster-turned-governor would do: he ordered the mural to be removed in the dead of night, over the weekend.  The work of art's location is, at the time of this writing, still kept hidden from the public.  Now I ask you, loyal reader: how shady is that shit?  I rate this action a 4 on the dick scale.

"I'd laugh at them, the idiots." -What LePage

thinks about Maine residents that are protesting his decision

to remove the labor mural.

Everyone has heard LePage say that he would "tell the president to go to Hell" and that the NAACP could "kiss [his] butt" for wanting him to attend a special service on MLK Jr. Day.  I'm sure it wouldn't be a surprise at all to know that he briefly wanted to repeal the Maine ban of BPA (the harmful chemical found in plastic bottles and such).  His argument?  "The only thing that I've heard is if you take a plastic bottle and put it in the microwave and you heat it up, it gives off a chemical similar to estrogen.  So the worst case is some women may have little beards..."  Not only is LePage demonstrating his universal ignorance, but he's also showing that he knows nothing about bodily chemicals or their effects.  First of all, estrogen does not cause women to grow "little beards." That's testosterone, idiot.  Estrogen causes men to grow breasts.  Also, the effects of BPA on the human body range from neurological disorders to cancer.  It would take me a very long time to go into detail on just how harmful BPA is, so click here for a link.  I know it's Wikipedia, but the article has over 250 good sources.  Just look into it.  Needless to say, the LePage administration dropped the repeal.  Taking that into account, I rate this as a 2 on the dick scale. 

LePage appointed his 22 year old daughter to the position of assistant to his chief of staff - giving her a salary of about $41,000/year.  Add onto that the estimated $15,000 in employee benefits, and the $10,000 of governmental housing (governor's mansion), and you've got a pretty good salary for an entry level job.  It would be good to note that starting pay for teachers in Maine is $30,000 a year (after obtaining a four year college degree), and that LePage's daughter has a very limited work history.  That's a solid 3 on the dick scale, considering my state tax dollars are going into her bank account.

Governor LePage refuses to raise taxes on the wealthy, which is an automatic 5 in my book.

"I went on vacation last week because I had nothing to do."

-Said during a speech in Lewiston not 100 days into office.

He doesn't think transgendered students should be allowed into public schools, saying that he didn't understand "how people, at least sane people, would want to allow" it.  On the subject of passing legislation for transgendered students, he said, "I think it's gone too far and we have to push back.  As governor, I would never allow that to be signed into law."  Not sure what exactly has gone too far, but what I can say is that I doubt there are that many transgendered students in Maine to begin with, let alone enough to feel like he needs to push back.  Now, I know sane people.  They're (or should I say you are) my targeted demographic.  So... what do you think?  Would you allow transgender students to get a fair shot at education?  Needless to say, he also doesn't believe in gay marriage.  Rating: 5.

A little more than a week ago, LePage lashed out at the state media for not reporting the truth when an ex-candidate member accused the governor of not wanting to meet with the mayor of Portland (the major city) because the city was "against him."  Paranoid much?  At any rate, he said, "There's been an awful lot of talk over the last week about a former employee saying I made all kinds of comments. The press, you folks, ran out and wrote all these articles and you never once called us and checked."  The media immediately called bullshit on that, however, with WGME (Maine's leading news network) arguing that they called his office three(!) times.  On the third time, the spokesperson for the governor denied that the comments were made and, according to WGME, that was what was reported.  Other local newspapers vocalized similar issues with getting into contact with the governor.  In essence, LePage is pissed because he is accused of something that he is either too lazy to respond to, or his assistants are too fucking dumb to hand him the phone.  Regardless, if you're going to cry foul and point fingers, at least get your facts straight first.  Rating: 4.

"I've inherited a financially troubled state to run.  Observe... cover...

but don't whine if I don't waste time responding to your every whim

for your amusement." - Inaugural Speech, 2011, speaking to the media.

A fantastic example of "foot-in-mouth".  

All of this shit is in the past, though.  What really brought me to my computer tonight to write this post was LePage's comments on the downgrading of the U.S.'s credit rating from AAA status to AA+ (whatever the fuck that means).  According to the S&P report, "The downgrade reflects our opinion that the... plan that Congress and the [Obama] Administration recently agreed to falls short of what, in our view, would be necessary to stabilize the government's medium-term debt dynamics."  

In a recent speech, LePage said, "Using debt defaults as a bargaining chip rather than putting our fiscal house back in order was an enormously risky maneuver that failed.  It is a major setback for our future and economic credibility of our country and it's time our leaders in Washington start working to get our economy back on track instead of worrying about upcoming elections."  All well and good.  Except...

(Excerpt from Bangor Daily News):

Maine Democratic Party Chairman Ben Grant said LePage clearly did not read the S&P report closely.

“They downgraded us because the Republican Party held the economy hostage in order to force Congress and the White House to adopt draconian and unpopular budget cuts at the expense of the middle class,” he said. “In their explanation of the downgrade, S&P said what a lot of Americans and Democrats have been saying through this debt crisis, it’s time to raise revenue.

“Let’s hope LePage and his fellow Republicans take note of this as we move forward.”

That outcome is not likely. LePage has never favored tax increases for anyone during his time as governor.  

"... Cake?  There's cake!"

LePage, you fucker.  Smarten the hell up.  You're making Maine look worse than I'm sure it already does (thank you, "Pet Sematary" actor, for your shitty accent).  You're harming our great woodland environment, you're ostracizing the middle class workers, and you're acting like a bully.  You've officially jumped the dick scale, and are now being measured on the "Pompous Asshole" scale, to which I give you a rating of "Infinity".  

LePage Quotes.  Ignore the author's grammar, and check the sources instead if you don't believe they are authentic.