Monday, August 1, 2011

Solving The Debt Crisis.

My question is, why does that skeleton have a mullet (a.k.a "the 
official haircut for idiots")?

Good news out of Washington tonight as the House passes a bill that will cut spending and raise the debt ceiling, while simultaneously leaving Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security alone.  Had the bill not been passed through the House tonight, and if it were to fail in the Senate, the U.S. will pass the debt ceiling limit tomorrow, bringing on the Apocalypse.  

That's right, the Apocalypse.  According to pretty much every economist, news anchor, politician, and pundit in America, our country defaulting would be what finally causes Satan to get his fat ass off the couch, break out the trident, and gather up his four horsemen to bring about the end of the world.  We are, in the hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution, the most important society that has ever or will ever exist.  Listen guys, I highly doubt that the United States defaulting would be of any concern to Satan.  He's far too busy giving the guys over at MTV new ideas for television shows.  

All in all, the Republicans caved on cutting the big three mentioned above, and the Democrats caved on just about everything else (aside from the debt ceiling).  I suppose you're wondering just who is going to get royally screwed over this deal?  Well, ask yourself:

Are you a politician?
Do you make more than $250,000/year?
Do you own a big company?
Are you the CEO of a bank?

If you answered "no" to all of the above questions then congratulations!  You're going to get fucked!  Once again, the wealthiest Americans are keeping their tax cuts, and the burden continues to fall on the lower and middle classes.  Oh, and good news if you're a college student!  I'd start dusting your wallet off now, and wave goodbye to the prospect of paying back your loans after graduation.  Silly goose.

Let's break this down, then.  When President Bill Clinton left office in 2001, we had a budget surplus of $127 billion.  President Bush comes along and cuts taxes on the wealthy, and leaves office with a deficit of $455 billion.  Not only that, but his people are the ones that drew up the economic plans for the next president (be it Obama or McCain).  Don't listen to the Tea Party idiots.  When the current president calls for tax increases, he isn't saying that everyone's taxes will be increased - just the people that can afford it.  

Exhibit A.  This graph can be found just about anywhere,
from economic websites, to newspapers, to other blogs.

We would be in significantly less debt without the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy.  And yet, for some strange reason, nobody believes that increasing taxes for the wealthy will do anybody any good.  Here's some rather enlightening news: the "job creators" aren't creating jobs, and they haven't been for a long time.  They are saving their money because that's what they do.  Hoard.

So what's the argument?  "Oh, we shouldn't punish the successful."  Wow.  Thanks.  That implies that if you are pinching pennies right now (which approximately 99% of Americans are), then you're a fucking unsuccessful loser.

The wealthy aren't being punished because they have the money to spare!  The lower and middle classes are the ones taking on an ever-increasing burden because poor Donny Trump can't make do with only one solid gold toilet.  Boo-hoo.  And now, as part of the new deal reached tonight on the budget crisis, people that are trying to educate themselves in order to have a better future will have less help than before.  

The government is pulling the plug on subsidized loans, as well as the special credit that students receive for paying their first twelve payments on time.  That means that college students will have to start paying back their loans immediately upon graduating with a four year degree.  Oh, going for your doctorate?  That's too bad.  You're going to have to pay back your loans while you're in school.  Don't have time to work and make money because you have a 60+ hour week interning at a hospital?  That blows.  Guess it's time to pick a new career.

Personally, I don't see how the government can get away with saying, "Education is the most important thing that we can invest in," while doing nothing but making cuts to education.  Maybe I'm missing something.  Do doctors and engineers grow on trees?  Are teachers plucked out of the ground now?  Are architects and veterinarians, scientists and neurosurgeons being grown in a greenhouse somewhere?  

No, no, I get it.  It's really good champagne.

Alright, then.  To those of you paying off federal representatives to cover your ass and protect your money, I have the following to say: Money might buy you "stuff", but it won't buy you knowledge. Thirty, forty, fifty years down the road, when doctors are scarce, have fun finding someone to help you fight cancer.  Or help you put together your dream house.  Or help your pets when they're sick.  

Maybe I'm overreacting.  

To be clear, I'm not saying that we should just increase taxes for the wealthy.  Spending cuts are necessary too in the right places (education not being one of them).  


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