Friday, April 8, 2011

The Government Shutdown.

As our government moves to shutdown mode, all of our hope
rests on the efforts of an albino ghost and a tanned carrot.
We're fucked.

Everyone who is anyone is talking about the government shutdown that seems inevitable tonight at midnight.  That's right, I said it.  You aren't cool unless you are talking about this.  I guess that means I'm not cool.  The fact of the matter is, there are several reasons why I don't give a shit about whether the government shuts down tonight or not.  Allow me to explain.

1.) We, as individuals in the United States of America, have little to no say as to what goes on at the Federal level.  Hell, we hardly have any say at the State level (Example: my own state elected a pompous windbag that had only 38% of the vote).  Bitching about the nuances of what a shutdown means will do absolutely nothing.  It won't stop the House and Senate from getting paid, it won't give the military their money any faster, and it won't keep people at their desk.  Why?  Because we are fucking lazy.  If all of the non-politicians in this country rose up, then hell yeah, we could do something about this.  But we aren't going to band together.  The closest thing we'll come to in terms of "rising up" is joining a Facebook page that might - might - make the news.  And guess what, America?  Senators don't give a flying fuck about Facebook.

2.) The Senators and House Representatives have absolutely no reason to hurry up and get this done.  What is going to happen?  They'll lose their secretary?  Oh, no!  Nothing will change for them, as far as I know.  They are still going to bicker like old ladies arguing over what the best breed of house cat is.  If you want some real results, tell them they won't get paid.  I bet you that they'd reach a consensus on this budget within an hour.  The fact of the matter is, they aren't going to vote on this shit like you want them to.  They have their own little agendas and ideals, and don't care about what Todd the Electrician has to say.  It's not election season just yet.

3.) I'm literally exhausted about hearing how this is President Obama's fault.  He is the Commander-in-Chief, leader of the military, not the man in charge of all things financial.  That's the Legislative Branch's job.  If you want to get pissed at someone for this whole debacle, aim your hatred at the House and the Senate.  Yes, the Democrats are blocking the efforts of the Republicans, but why is it that no one got pissed at the Republicans when the stonewalled Democrats for two goddamn years?  You should, in all honesty, be thanking them.  They are blocking the bill because it will, among other things, cut federal funding to Planned Parenthood.  All of it.  Planned Parenthood is a fantastic organization that really needs support.  Personally, I'm glad that the Democrats are standing up to the Republicans in this, and I find it to be a bit underhanded of the Republicans to put something as big as that in a bill that, if not passed, will end in a government shutdown.  

In the end, it's not about what you want, it's about what your elected officials want.  All of your bitching and moaning is not going to do anything to get the ball rolling here.  It's unfortunate as it is cynical.  The fact that our military will have to wait for their pay while the politicians in this country have nothing to worry about really pisses me off.  And while I have called my Senator(s) to voice that anger, I know that nothing is going to change.  Either stand up and make your voice heard (NOT by joining a Facebook group), or sit down, shut up, and watch the show.  I promise it's going to be about as riveting as the public executions in the Middle Ages.  

For all of you working in Federal jobs, including all of the soldiers in the military, I truly am sorry for this.  While the old men argue about semantics over here, you have to worry about your families going hungry because your pay checks aren't on time, or you're on furlough like many government workers will soon be.  

Oh, and just to really slather on this delicious condiment, check out this lovely quote from the Carrot himself:  "Republican leaders are 'confident that those Democrats who believe it is important to fund our troops and make real spending cuts will prevail upon Sen. Reid and our commander in chief to keep the government from shutting down,' Boehner said.  In response, Reid said he was starting to question whether Boehner really wanted a deal." END QUOTE.

To be 100% honest, I feel like this is all just a political ploy.  No, I'm not talking conspiracies, here.  But if the government does shutdown, won't the Republicans place the blame on the Democrats and President Obama?  I don't doubt it.  The 2012 election is coming up and, if one of the Republican candidates wins the bid for Presidency, I suppose that would coincide perfectly with the Mayan prophecy of apocalypse.            

"Yay!  We win!  The government is shutdown, we still get paid, 
and it all looks like it's the Democrats fault!  Fuck those guys!"

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