"What? Nobody bothered to make shit up for me for tonight's show? Fuck it!
I'll do it live!"
Being the night owl I am, I suddenly had the inspiration to write a short little summary of why Fox News' poster boy is such an asshole.
Hopping on to Google to make sure I wasn't going to steal anything from anybody, I quickly discovered that I had been beaten to the punch by thousands of people. There is nothing I can say about Bill O'Reilly that hasn't been said before. In fact, there is literally a website called http://www.oreilly-sucks.com. Way to outshine my blog post, anonymous overachiever.
Like I did with Michael Bay, allow me to prove to you, oh constant doubter, that the internet hates Bill O'Reilly. Go ahead and create yourself another tab. Follow along with me, it's easy!
Type in "Bill O'Reilly is" into Google's search bar, and you immediately get...
-Bill O'Reilly is an idiot.
-Bill O'Reilly is a racist.
-Bill O'Reilly is a douche.
-(and my personal favorite) Bill O'Reilly is a tool.
The fact is, making fun of Bill O'Reilly is too easy. He does it to himself every night when he gets on the air and spouts his stupid, ignorant logic for an entire hour. People like myself look at him and think, "What a goddamn moron. Who believes this shit?" The sad truth is that people do believe what he says, and it's really really sad.
My biggest issue with Bill O'Reilly (and this actually extends to all of Fox News) is this: When a Republican is President, no one criticizes anything he does, especially in a time of war. When a Democrat is President, it is our civil duty to question, criticize, mock, and smear everything he does, even in a time of war. It is hypocritical logic, logic that I would bet money on that Fox News couldn't explain if someone confronted them about it. I mean sure, they'd try. But it would probably be the same arguments that they've recycled over and over again.
You see, Bill O'Reilly is a giant, hypocritical asshole. If you think I might be wrong, find out for yourself. Try watching his show every night for a week. If you make it through the week without tearing your eyeballs out, or without going hoarse from screaming at his fat, stupid, televised head, I'll be very impressed.
Oh, Bill. It's okay. No one ever really liked you anyway.
Sidenote: While writing this, I got to thinking about good ol' Sarah Palin. Definitely check back here in a bit, as my next post will be devoted- nay, dedicated!- to her.
...Just kidding. I'm going tear her a new one. Pretend I'm Chris Brown, and she's Rihanna.
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