Saturday, November 27, 2010

Black Friday, Part Two- The Aftermath.

"So much death... what can men do against such reckless hate?"

Black Friday came and went.  Amongst the slashed prices and now abandoned retail outlets, there lies several tales of psychotic, energy drink fueled shoppers harming one another.  How could that possibly be funny?

Answer: The mere fact that people are willing to kill over a sale at Wal-Mart causes me to question my faith in mankind.  I scoured the interwebz to find some of the headlines for yesterday's Black Friday madness.  Here are some of the articles that stood out the most:

- In Florida, three women bought $1000 worth of merchandise from a Best Buy.  They brought it back to their car, and went over to a JC Penney where they were gone for only a few minutes.  When they came back, someone had broken into their car and had stolen all the items they had just bought.  This story pisses me off the most, because the women had been waiting since Wednesday.  I hope whoever did it is found so that these women can take turns beating him/her.  
- In Madison, Wisconsin, a woman was arrested for cutting in line (elementary school shit, people) at Toys R Us.  When several customers yelled at her, she threatened to shoot them.  Yes, shoot them.  
- In Buffalo, New York, several people were injured when a Target store opened their doors.  Those in front of the crowd were pushed to the floor and trampled.  I knew it was going to happen somewhere.
- A Wal-Mart in Sacramento, California was evacuated by the police when the shoppers became too unruly.  
- A Marine reservist was stabbed in Georgia when he tackled a man that had been trying to steal from a Best Buy.  The man had brandished the knife at the employees before making a run for his vehicle.  Several marines were nearby helping in a Toys for Tots drive, saw the commotion, and brought the man to the ground.  The thief stabbed one marine in the back before being subdued.  
- A man in a Florida Wal-Mart was arrested for carrying a pepper grenade, a .40 caliber handgun, and two knives.  It's too bad Rambo here was apprehended before he could buy anything.   
- And finally, a youtube video emerged of two women getting into a bit of a scrap in the parking lot of a retail store.  One of the women got into her car and attempted to run the other one over.

Now, as far as I know, there was only one death to report.  I have to admit, it happened in the last place I would have expected.  Details on the event were fuzzy at best, but from what I've been able to garner, a 54 year old woman died in a Jo-Ann Fabrics after, apparently, shooting herself.  Police say that the gun-shot wound appears to be self-inflicted, so I don't know if this grandmother was packing heat without the safety on or what.  It's clear she was expecting a shootout in the fabrics section though.

If anybody has any other news regarding humanity failing yesterday, definitely leave a comment below.  I'd love to hear it.

EDIT (11/29/10): Check out this hilarious video from the Youtubes.

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