Fox News Breaks Itself.

It's no secret to any of my regular readers: I hate Fox News.  As Stephen Colbert once famously said, "Reality has a liberal bias," and how can you make conservative news realistic while appealing to conservatives?

The quick answer is that you don't.  Realism has to be thrown out the door in exchange for a more fantastical view of the things going on in the world.  Fox News is nothing but blowhard opinions and right-wing propaganda.

Here's a good way I learned to help spell it out for people.  Let's say that it's snowing outside.  Fox News would say, "It's snowing outside because Obama declared a War on Christmas and this is God's punishment unto us."  Real news would say, "It's snowing outside."

So when reality somehow does slip its way into any crevice of the Fox Machine, I always find myself wondering if the entire operation will collapse on itself like a dying star.  Take, for example, a recent Fox News poll conducted by phone between May 13-15 of this year.  In it, 913 people were polled and the results were not something that Fox News appreciated: Obama beat out Romney 46% to 39%.  The other 15%?  Not sure.  I would have liked to have found out but, oddly enough, I can't find the actual poll on the Fox News website. 


These were live interviews, by the way, not robot calls. 

Here's where shit gets hilarious.  Allow me to pass the ball over to Don Hamel from AddictingInfo.org.  Don writes:

So what does Fox do, when their own poll shows Americans prefer Obama?

Everything they can.

Media Matters has compiled a video showing various Fox hosts and news anchors frantically trying to walk back, talk around, downplay, dismiss, re-interpret and generally deny the findings of a recent Fox News Poll, showing President Obama leading Mitt Romney by seven points.

In other words, DAMAGE CONTROL.

Here's the video from Media Matters.  It gets really interesting about halfway through when it becomes clear that the anchors and pundits are tired of being subtly dismissive of the poll.

  



Regardless of what any poll says, I still believe that they're all inaccurate.  The only one that matters will take place in early November.  And if the corporate lapdog known as Mitt Romney becomes president, I will get up and move to Canada.  It's not far from where I live - maybe a bit over a hundred miles. 

Conservative Talking Points Debunked.

Now that Romney is the Republican candidate, all of the Conservative talking points are (once again) being flung at President Obama - that he's a Muslim, that he wasn't born in the United States, yaddah yaddah yaddah.  Wait, sorry.  I say that like people ever shut the fuck up for a second to let the president do his job.  I should rephrase.  After the harrowing Republican primaries and debates, during which we watched a bunch of white people verbally abuse the living shit out of each other, the Right has rearmed and re-aimed its nonsense machine at the president. 

Well, folks, you've seen the man's birth certificate from Hawaii.  He says he's not a Muslim (as if his religion really matters), and he's yet to impose any Satanic/Islamic laws on us good Christians.  So I'm going to go ahead and say it: Stop.  Just stop.  

Dumb people already bought into that shit, and those of us intelligent Americans with not-so-short attention spans remember 2008.  We've heard it all before.  We didn't believe it then, and we won't believe it now.  No facts, no case.  You don't need to repeat yourself for the mouth-breathers of America.  They've been repeating that nonsense like it's gospel since McCain lost.

This is why President Obama is laughing in the picture above.  He is going to win reelection in 2012, as long as he can get his base motivated enough to get out and vote.  What is Romney going to dig up on him that people haven't heard already?  Nothing.  All he can do is regurgitate talking points for the next six months.  Here are just a few spun as the right-wing would.

1.) President Obama took credit for killing Osama Bin Laden - the credit belongs to the troops.  Well, yes and no.  President Obama often makes it known that OBL wouldn't have been taken out had it not been for the brave actions of our men and women in uniform.  Here's a fun fact: Bush had the opportunity to get Osama and he didn't take it.  President Obama made the decision to infiltrate Bin Laden's compound, and he did it despite everyone in his cabinet telling him not to.  In the end, Bin Laden was shot in the face, and everyone made it out alive.  Had Obama not made that call, the mastermind of 9/11 would still be loose, and the Navy Seals of Seal Team Six never would have entered Pakistan.   

2.) President Obama wants to take away our 2nd Amendment Rights.  This is false.  He has strengthened it, if anything, and only wants to take automatic weapons off the table.  It's a fair trade, I think.  Would you be comfortable seeing anybody walk down the street with an AK-47?  I doubt it.  Of course, the leader of the N.R.A., Wayne LaPierre, wants everyone to believe it's all a conspiracy, that the president will put his full plan into action in his second term.  Wayne LaPierre is also a fucking idiot.

3.) President Obama has increased taxes on the middle class, and has not pulled us out of the recession.  This is also false.  President Obama has not increased taxes on the middle class, and the jobless numbers are slowly dwindling.  If the Republicans would have compromised more with the Democrats over the last four years, things would be a lot better now. 

 4.) Obama is a Socialist.  Dead.  Fucking.  Wrong.  While bailing out the auto industry was a socialist move, look at the result.  The auto industry paid back all the money with interest before his first term was over!  President Obama is not a socialist - he's a progressive.  It doesn't matter, really.  Socialism is actually a great thing.  Americans, particularly conservatives, have it in their heads that it's a bad thing after the Red Scare.  Please understand that Socialism and Communism are two very different things.

President Obama - The First Pro-Gay Marriage President.

For those of you wondering where your video is, I said (perhaps predictably) "fuck it" to iMovie.  It's a royal pain in the ass, and I'm too technologically inept to put something together.  I worked on my baby project for hours - don't think I didn't! - but my need to get it all perfect in one take quickly drove me to madness.  

So fuck iMovie.  Fuck YouTube.  You're all stuck with me and my wall of text.  I have admitted defeat.

But there are several fights that I won't back down on, and a good portion of them revolve around the man pictured above.  This post is going to be quite long as I have a lot to catch up on.  Get comfortable, and prepare your eyeballs (and your mind) for the radically socialist/liberal attack that they are about to be on the shit-end of.  In an effort to help some people with short attention spans (including myself), I will be breaking this post into several smaller posts.  I might continue to do this... but I tend to rant. 

iMovie Update.

Hola, ladies and gentlemen!

I just wanted to drop a quick post for those of you that check in with me on a regular basis.  The world (especially the U.S.)  is falling deeper and deeper into its pit of insanity, and I am extremely overwhelmed.  It's not that I can't do this alone - I can because I'm fucking awesome.  It's just that I have a lot going on elsewhere.

No, I'm not going to stop writing.  That will continue.  I just have to write this down tonight so that I can hold myself to it: tomorrow evening I will hopefully be posting my first video to the site and to a new YouTube account that I will be linking to the blog.  I say hopefully because I'm not sure how long the editing process will take.  It'll be up by Wednesday night at the latest, that I know for sure.  Hold me to that, readers!

There is just too large of a gap for me to compensate for in terms of humor in text and humor in general.  People that come to this site off the fly might not pick up on my sarcasm.  They might not think jokes would be funnier if they could hear tone, inflection, etc.

These videos will not be cinema quality, but I'm going to spend many hours tonight fiddling with iMovie in hopes of bringing something fresh to the site.  A real kick to Blogger's virile(?) testes. 

 Wish me luck!

UPDATE

As expected, iMovie is a complete and utter pain in the ass.  I'm extremely obsessive about getting everything in this video done correctly - so much so that I've recorded several hours worth of video and deleted, well... several hours worth of video.

That being said, it's good practice and I'm learning (albeit slowly).  I will try my absolute best to have something up by later this afternoon.  

I'm sure you're all holding your breath.

President Obama Reveals Communist Ideals With New Slogan.

Above is President Obama's new campaign slogan.  On the surface it means that he wants to take America and the American people forward.  By and large, I think we can all agree that this is a good thing.  Nobody wants to go backward. 

But what's the subtext?  That President Obama wants to take America and the American people forward?  No, no, no.  It's far more sinister.

Thankfully we have people in this country that know the true meaning of "forward", as well as what Obama's next move as president would be if he wins the 2012 election.  Just a note for all my conservative readers:  I'm being facetious in that last sentence.  Forward means forward and little else.

The True Mission Of The Left-Wing (Exposed)!

Governor Phil Bryant of Mississippi (pictured above) knows a secret.  Despite my (and my fellow liberals) many attempts to stop him from revealing this secret to the public, he has gone ahead and blabbed anyway. 

I don't get it.  I tried everything that would appeal to a Republican.  I offered to pay him off.  I offered to quit college and vote GOP.  I offered to treat women like they were subservient to me for the rest of my life.  And when all that failed, I even told him that I would convert to Christianity and declare a new Crusade on all non-Christians.  Still no dice.

Steve Doocy Proves He Is Not A Journalist (As If He Needed To).

"Fox & Friends" television personality and part-time Strutting Leo Impersonator Steve Doocy (pictured above) recently came under fire for his underhanded interpretation of something that President Obama said.  He and the rest of Roger Ailes' cronies over at Faux News have been trying to twist Obama's "silver spoon" quote for a few days now by making seem like it was an attack on Romney.  This all culminated on Thursday when none other than Mitt Romney himself was interviewed on "Fox & Friends" by Doocy.

Wondering how Romney was reacting to the latest jab from the president, Doocy brought him up to speed: "He said, uh, 'Unlike some people, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth'."  Burn, right?  Except President Obama never said, "Unlike some people."  In fact, he wasn't even talking about Mitt Romney.  He was talking about education beyond high school.

What he said was: "We created a foundation for those of us to prosper.  Somebody gave me an education.  I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.  Michele wasn't.  But somebody gave us a chance."

Shameless Self-Promoting: An Excerpt From One Of My Short Stories.

I decided to post this here because it runs along well with the theme of this blog.  If you have an idea of what you think this is about, I'd definitely love to hear it.

Oh, and one last thing:  I enjoy criticism.  Really, I do.  It helps me get better.  But keep in mind this is the roughest a rough draft can get.  So enjoy!  Let me know what you think in the comment section below.

The Attack On Woman's Rights.

With each day that passes, there's a new headline announcing how yet another state has pushed to repeal some form of a woman's rights.  It's too bad, then, that our disgustingly lazy media would rather report on how large Kim Kardashian's ass has gotten, or the ongoing feud between Hillary Rosen and Ann Romney (which is a pointless argument - both are kind of wrong).

Let's start from the top.  Democrats and liberals, noticing that Republicans and conservatives have become more and more focused on passing legislation that involves only women, began to claim that the GOP was trying to start a war on women.  Republicans and their media arm, Fox News, shot back with the ever-so-adult, "Nah-uh!  You are!"  

Now, to say that this is a "war" is both ridiculous and sensationalist.  It isn't a war.  That's insulting for two reasons: 1) It trivializes actual war (like the one in Afganistan) and 2) It makes it sound like legislators are reaching for their weapons and firing at women.  The proper term, I think, is "attack."  Politicians are attacking the same rights that women have been working towards for the last one-hundred plus years.

Did Rick Santorum Almost...?

I'm not really sure what to think of this.  Technically speaking, Santorum didn't actually say anything.  But the fact that he stumbled and then changed subjects completely has me wondering what it was that he was going to say.

No other words come to my mind other than the harsh, derogatory racial slur.

I expected this to be all over the news and yet I haven't heard a peep from any major news network.  It only popped up once here at AddictingInfo (where I first saw it).  So what's up, media?  I think this deserves a little attention.  I'd at least like to know what it was he was going to say, and why he stumbled over his words like that.

What do you think?  Speak up in the comment section below.