Saturday, June 9, 2012

I Work Through My Sadness By Beating Conservatives With Logic.

As many of you know, I had a bit of a breakdown the other night after Scott Walker won his gubernatorial reelection in Wisconsin.  I threw a good ol' fashioned pity party complete with a gallon of chocolate ice cream, sad clown face paint, and six straight hours of crying like a baby.

I'm kidding, of course.  I got really pissed, wrote a blog post that maybe twelve people read, and then went to sleep.  But I bounced back from my anger (I almost deleted this blog) with the help of my good friend Ted over at Jobsanger, and with the realization of two things: that Walker's victory means nothing and that the American media needs to go away.  I'll have more on that stuff in another post.

Right now, I want to do what I think I do best: beat you fucking morons out there senseless with logic and reasoning.  The subject of my fury tonight is the website known ironically as LiberalLogic101.  I hate this website/blog so much that I am making it my personal enemy.  I am going to try and keep up with it, posting their pictures here at least once a week so that you, my viewers, can see how ridiculous the site is.  If you are a fan and regular reader of AddictingInfo, you're probably already aware of it.

The sad part about LiberalLogic101 is that they use real-live, actual. Liberal logic.  But they don't understand it.  So in order to make themselves feel better (or maybe more intelligent), they knock that down with what I suppose they refer to as "actual human logic."  What it really is is "Conservative Logic", which is to say that it doesn't make a lick of fucking sense to anybody with a high school education.  Here's an example from June 4th:

The first thing you'll notice is that it doesn't make any sense.  Obviously, none of them really do, but this one doesn't make sense even on the level of pure sentence structure.  "It's racist to be afraid of someone wearing a hoodie... Unless of course, he's white and wealthy."  To word that in a way intelligent people understand, it's racist to be afraid of someone wearing a hoodie, but it's not racist to be afraid of someone that is white and wealthy.  Let me make this a bit easier for the sake of argument.  Let's separate racism and choice of attire for a moment.  Why?  Because the two have nothing to do with each other.       

It is not racist to be afraid of someone wearing a hoodie.  Hoodie-Wearers are not a race, nor are they race specific.  It is, however, dumb to be afraid of someone for wearing a hoodie, no matter the race - it's actually a waste of emotion all together.  The true Liberal Logic is that it is ignorant to suspect that anyone (in the case, a black youth) is dangerous just because he/she is wearing a hoodie.  That was, after all, Zimmerman's initial problem with Trayvon.   

Here's another gem, this one from June 2nd:

Wow, good one.  Because any child has a choice as to what food their caretakers serve them?  See, the Liberal Logic in this one is pure logic: it's based in fact and reality.  The Conservative Logic isn't logic at all.  It's an observation.  Mexicans (I'm assuming Mexican children) prefer Mexican food because to them, it's just food.  There is also, might I say, something very wrong with your brain if you are equating sexuality with food preference.  

The rest of it is all an inference.  No thinking person believes that anyone is genetically predisposed to liking specific ethnic food - and in that case - it wouldn't be friggin' racist, it would just be scientific fact.  

One more, this one from May 29th (and yes, my head is starting to pound in ferocious anger):

Let's play "Finish That Sentence"!  

"The economy sucks, therefore we will..."

  • Raise taxes... on the rich.
  • Increase regulations... on wrong or harmful business practices.
  • Verbally attack business owners... wait, what?  That never happened.

If anything, this site is proof that Conservatives have selective hearing.  It's also proof that Conservatives that think the site is funny or true are incredibly fucking stupid.  I feel like you need to pass a warning screen just to go there.  You know, like the screens for violent movies or video games where you enter your date of birth.  Only on LiberalLogic101, you'd have to prove that there is a certain amount of drool on your keyboard, or that you once tried to eat a bar of soap because it smelled deliciously fresh.

Another thing that really pisses me off about LiberalLogic101 is that there is no place to comment, nor is there any place to email the blogger.  I find this to be the sign of an incredible coward.  I invite people to comment, especially those that disagree with me, and I have my email right on the side bar. 

He/She also has it so that you can't just copy and paste their images, or the url to their images.  God forbid if someone pulls them from your site, pastes them to another site, and then ridicules them for being asinine and unintelligent.  That might hurt your feelings.


Just a quick note: I will be creating a label known as "True Liberal Logic" for this post
and other posts like it (those that attack the blog known as LiberalLogic101).  For
a good, quick laugh, click on it to see all posts in that category!

Another note: All images on this post (with the exception of the crying baby)
 are taken directly from


Gra'ma Banana said...

Maybe someone should start a blog called "ConservativeLogic101"? That might be funnier than trying to explain how they distort logic to further their own ideological ends.

Brendan said...

I just went there for like ten seconds, read maybe 3 posts and now my brain is both sad and in pain. Its amazing that people actually think that Allow me to rephrase, that people think that way and don't cause themselves serious bodily harm while putting on pants.

Daily Goddess said...

I've seen their memes on FB, so somebody shared, obvi. I agree that the cowards should open up to us REAL bad could we be? Proud to sign MY name to some Con bubble-popping---assuming said bubble is breachable!

A Sane Break said...

Oh, that bubble isn't breachable, but you're more than welcome to try. Lemme know if you succeed! :D