Thursday, March 29, 2012

Two Brilliant, Abstract-Thinking Fetuses Question Life And God's Existence.

This idiotic picture is being circulated around the internet as we speak.  It's all over my Facebook.  I decided I'm going to nip this in the ass right now and write about it before it gets any larger.

I don't often write about my personal religious views because I don't want to offend the few religious  friends and relatives I have that read my posts.  Don't pat yourselves on the back though, guys.  I am more than capable of offending you.  Case in point: what I'm about to write.  Do not read this post if you think that the above picture is clever and/or true.  Now I know what you're thinking.  You want to hit the "back" button on your browser, but some sick urge is just begging for your eyes to read on.  It's like a car accident.  You just have to look.  Well, I'm advising that you don't.

Okay.  Let's number this shit.  I love lists.

1.)  The picture was clearly captioned by a moron.  It's messy, it's poorly written, and you just know that the person was chuckling to him/herself at how clever he/she was being.  Theists, I gotta tell you: if this is your go-to metaphor on the existence of God, you are in a lot of trouble.

2.)  The argument is invalid.  Even my most of my religious friends would agree with me on this one.  I'll bypass the obvious "fetuses aren't capable of such abstract thinking" argument and instead go straight to this one: these two boys have actual physical reasons for believing in "mom."  They are attached to her, for fuck's sake!  Regardless of the spiritual metaphors religious people throw at you (like how your soul is attached to God), no higher power is actually physically touching you at all times, nor is He/She nourishing you.  And if you think He/She is, I think that society at large would agree with me when I say that you probably belong in a straight jacket.  You're harmful to others.

3.) Believing in a motherly figure isn't a religion. And therefore the fetus would not think of himself as an atheist.  Again, he's not capable of abstract thought so it's all really nonsensical.  Honestly, I feel like I sound ridiculous for saying this picture is stupid.  It's so obvious that it makes no sense that delving deeper into it makes you feel like more of an idiot than the people who think it's a good argument.  

4.) Do children naturally believe in a deity?  No.  No, they don't.  Children learn to believe in something through their parents and their surroundings.  They do not naturally pop out of the womb believing in a god.  Ask any child that has just learned how to speak.  I clearly remember being brought to Church as a child and having no idea why the hell I was there.  If babies are naturally spiritual then why don't we all subscribe to one religion?    

5.) The play on words is atrocious.  "Life after birth?"  Really?  Birth implies the beginning of life just as death implies the end of it.  If - if - a brilliant fetus were to be able to formulate whether or not there was a "mom," he or she would know what simple words mean.


Honestly, there are far better arguments out there supporting the idea of a higher power.  None of them are very good but, when compared to this, they're almost believable.  Personally, I've opened my mind to all religions.  I've learned about them, read about them, even experienced a few.  

None of them answer any of my questions adequately.  They all deal in ignorance and blind trust.  Science and nature do not do this.  The Theory of Evolution is a fact.  Gravity is a fact.  If I want to know why my feet are firmly attached to the ground, or why we can't seem to cure HIV/AIDS, I look to science.  If I want to feel like I know something, then I turn to religion. 

And don't come at me with that "Well, what if you're wrong?" bullshit.  If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.  If there is a God, He most certainly isn't the asshole Old/New Testament God.  That guy is clearly made up by hateful, scared men.  If I'm wrong and (let's just say for the sake of argument) Christians* are right, then I still have a better shot of making it into Heaven than most of you.

An omnipotent being like that would certainly value intelligence and reason over ignorance.  "Hmm, let's see here.  I can let the guy that ignorantly believed in my existence into Heaven - the same guy that only believes in me because he didn't want to be wrong and go to Hell -, or the guy that intellectually questioned my existence using the brain I gave him into Heaven.  Decisions, decisions."


If you don't agree with me, please say so below.  I'd love to hear it.  


Ted McLaughlin said...

Well said, Shaun.

Shaun said...

I knew you'd enjoy this one, Ted!