Santorum Is On Everyone's Lips These Days.

Oh, boy, does Santorum know how to get a crowd of the Righteous Right going or what?  All it takes is one good glance at any major news network's home page to know that my buddy Rick Santorum is going places.  What places, you ask?  White House places.

Sure, most of the stories about him are usually ones questioning his "outrageous" statements and accusations against the left.  But where the Liberals see crazy, I see smear.  How dare the Left smear Santorum when every word out his mouth is divine truth.  In 2008, for example, he said that the Democratic Party has "become the party of Woodstock" in the sense that Democratic lawmakers "prey upon our most basic primal lusts...sex."  What kind of sex?  Homosexual sex of course.

To that I say, "Duh," but the media wants to pull the reigns on the horse and slow this Santorum buggy down.  Fuck that.  Santorum stops for no one except the Lord.  So suck it, Anderson Cooper.

He's even taken a few good swings at those tree-hugging, mushroom eating, environmentalist hippies by dismissing the notion of climate change, as well as Obama's worldview that the Earth is greater than man.

Hah!  As if, Obama!  God gave the Earth to us.  He didn't give us to the Earth.  Santorum further explained that President Obama isn't actually afraid of harming the Earth by taking its resources - "this is all an attempt to, you know, to centralize power and to give more power to the government."  Crafty Obama and his manipulative ways.

Yet another reason why I'm voting for Santorum this November.  He's going to do to the Earth what God put it here for: to be sucked dry of resources until it's completely uninhabitable (which, coincidentally, lines up perfectly with the rapture).

Yes, my man Santorum is definitely...

....definitely going places. I just can't wait to see what he's going to say next...

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Goddamn it, I can't do this anymore.  Santorum, buddy, I cannot keep up with your mouth.  Seriously, this is getting fucking ridiculous.  I use up most of my daily reserves of sarcasm on co-workers, peers, family, and professors.  You're making me tap into emergency reserves here.

For awhile it was just one idiotic thing a day.  Now it's three, sometimes four.  And I can't just spend all my time with you.  Your friends are saying stupid shit too, like Republican lawmaker Bob Morris of Indiana.  Here's a little gem from him about the GIRL SCOUTS.

"Nonetheless, abundant evidence proves that the agenda of Planned Parenthood includes sexualizing young girls through the Girl Scouts, which is quickly becoming a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood instructional series and pamphlets are part of the core curriculum at GSA training seminars. Denver Auxiliary Bishop James D. Conley of Denver last year warned parents that “membership in the Girl Scouts could carry the danger of making their daughters more receptive to the pro-abortion agenda."  (Click here for the full story)

No, you did not just fall asleep and have the most horrifying nightmare imaginable.  That shit is for real.  Bob Morris believes that the Girl Scouts are a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood.

I guess what I'm saying, Rick, is that I need some space.  I need to see other people for a little bit.  I know this hurts you.  Trust me, I'm in pain too.  But it's for the best.  So in the meantime...