David Tyree Should Stick To Sports And Stop Talking.

Shhhhh.  It's quiet time.

It's no secret that I am all for the legalization of gay marriage.  Yes, it's true.  I don't have the time nor the emotional capacity to waste on a feeling as idiotic as homophobia.  This isn't 10,000 B.C.  Men do not show their dominance over each other by... *ahem* making other men be submissive.

Evolutionarily speaking, that's where this pervasive male feeling of homophobia comes from.  Back when we were more animal than human, men proved their status as alpha male by making those beneath them in station be literally beneath them for, let's just say, 1-4 minutes.  Notice how most women don't see the big deal with gay marriage?  Ever seen a heterosexual woman shirk away from a homosexual woman?  Probably not, unless they were extremely religious.

But I digress.  The fact of the matter is, it's the 21st century.  We are making technological leaps every single day and yet, socially, we seem to be moving backwards.  And I don't mean overall.  We were making progress several years ago.  Now that whole effort seems to be withdrawing from the shore like waves at low tide.  

With all this newfound, misled and unfortunate hate aimed at the followers of Islam, illegal immigrants, and gay men and women, I have to wonder... what the hell is going on?

As many people now know, New York is very close to legalizing gay marriage.  If that were to happen, it would be a huge deal considering the population density of the state.  While I believe it would be a step in the right direction, David Tyree does not.

Who is David Tyree, you ask?  He is/was a football player for the New York Giants.  I guess that makes him important, I don't know.  I don't follow sports.  At any rate, Mr. Tyree opened up his mouth when it probably should have just stayed closed, saying that if the state passed the bill, it would "be the beginning of our country sliding toward... anarchy."  That's right.  Anarchy.  Legalizing gay marriage will now cause lawlessness and a sudden disappearance of government.  Poof.  Overnight. 

Note to same sex opponents:  If you are going to get a 

new spokesperson, at least make sure he doesn't have the IQ

of a licked stamp.

I know what you're thinking.  "Okay, Mr. Tyree.  I think that's enough."  I thought that too.  But Tyree had more golden nuggets of wisdom for the masses.  "Marriage is the only relationship that actually mirrors the relationship with God," was one quote.  "You can't teach something that you don't have," he said about same-sex parents.  "So two men will never be able to teach a woman how to be a woman."

Two things.  1) How exactly does marriage mirror anybody's relationship with God?  Last time I checked, I have the ability to see, touch, smell, and hear my spouse.  I don't have to blindly believe my spouse is standing in front of me at the altar.  I don't have to take someone else's word for it.  "No dude, it's cool.  Trust me."  2) Is Tyree actually saying that, after thousands of years of evolution, children still have not developed the ability to know what sex they are?  And is he saying that women need to be taught how to be women?  What would that entail, I wonder?  A woman can be anything she wants to be, just like a man can.  No lesson is involved.  Jesus, I feel like I stepped back into 1940 where women "belonged in the kitchen" or some shit.  How about you get with the program, Tyree?  It's 2011.  

So, in conclusion, I - wait.  What's that, you say? There's more?  

Tyree is also quoted with saying that there is no good reason to change the long-standing institution of man-woman marriage "because a minority - an influential minority - has... an agenda."  Yes.  Damn those gays and their agenda to be happy and equal.  Just what are they thinking?  Idiot.

"I am disappointed when... not enough guys... lift up something as honorable and near to God's heart as marriage.  We're doing God an injustice by not making his heart known to our country."  

Look.  There are so many things wrong with your view on the world that you live in, Mr. Tyree.  Unfortunately, it is your opinion, and I must respect the fact that you have the ability to have/share it.  That being said, I would like to share my opinion with you.  

I am firmly convinced that you took one too many blows to the head while playing football.  Do you hear yourself?  I mean, look at the sport you played!  You run around on a field, tackling men, getting behind men that are bent over, playing in the mud and rain, and then have a group shower afterwards.  With all due respect, nobody was clamoring to hear your opinion on gay marriage.  In fact, I was extremely happy when I heard the news coming out of New York state.  If I had to compare your comments to anything, I would paint this scenario: After having a fantastic day, I come home to relax only to have you jump out from behind my couch, yell "Surprise, bitch!" and uppercut me right in the nuts.  

If you believe that both, or even one, of these men is correct,

then you are probably lost on the internet.  How did you find this place?

Here's the deal.  If you aren't gay, then don't get married to someone of the same sex as yourself.  It's that simple.  Allowing homosexuals to wed will not, in any way, affect your life as a heterosexual.  Seriously.  Grow the fuck up.  

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