Facts: A Beginner's Guide For Conservatives.

*Warning!*  If you are not familiar with grade school level science, the English language, or reality in general, you may have trouble comprehending this article. Of course, as it is meant for my conservative readers (a.k.a. the people that accidentally stumbled here because reading things you don't agree with is almost fundamentally out of your wheelhouse), I'll try to keep my words small, the sentences brief, and the pictures plentiful.

Here's a fun game:

One of the following sentences is a fact and the other one is not. Can you tell which one is which?

A.) Getting punched in the dick hurts.
B.) President Obama wants to take away everyone's guns.